I think I have a comfort feeder!!!!!! Help!!!!!!

[Cupcakemummy85]

My dd is 11 weeks old and I've been trying to implement a bed time but it takes me forever to get her fed and off to sleep!! I can't put my other dd to bed because I'm litreally upstairs for hours. My dd is definitely using me as a dummy. With dd1 I would feed her to sleep and it wouldn't take long but dd2 wants to feed for ages before she finally gives in. I can't put her in her Moses or crib as she instantly wakes up and starts sucking her hands. Dummies don't work, they just make her gag. How can I get her off to sleep quicker. Even in the middle of the night she wakes every two hours and likes to comfort suck then. There's so many bad habits going on here, I can't begin to imagine what I will have to do to get her to sleep a few months down the line

11wks is very small to assume that you can institute a bedtime, tbh. You can't tell whether she's really feeding or "comfort sucking", as you put it. Not sure I'd class bfing on demand a "bad habit" so don't beat yourself up about it. Instead of focusing on how to get her to sleep more quickly, can you think about what you can do while you're feeding, eg read a story to your dd1? Sing your dd1 to sleep? I'd go with the needs of your baby for the moment.

Tbh at that age there isnt really such a thing as a bad habit. Your baby only does what she needs to do and if she needs comfort them she needs it. Comfort isnt a luxury. She isnt taking the piss or 'using' you. All she knows is that she needs comfort to get over to sleep. Its just as important at this stage as cleaning her bum and keeping her warm tbh.

And yes, try and get on with cuddling dd1, reading to her etc. you can do tht while feeding.

What is wrong with comfort sucking, giving comfort to your baby? Not bad habits, natural behaviour. Baby may be having a growth spurt. The sucking serves a purpose, to stimulate your supply.

She is still so young. Don't worry about bad habits and just feed on demand. Waking every 2 hours at night for an 11 week old is normal. She will be feeding not just comfort sucking.

May be get a sling so she can feed and you can be hands free for storytelling your toddler.

I know it. Is hard but eventually she will feed less. Just go with it for now is my advice. Too young for routine.

I suspect she's cluster feeding and needs to, at this time, to get the milk she needs. It's quite common with BF babies. I always found my milk supply quite low in the early evening and DS1 spent ages cluster feeding as a result.

I agree with the others that you shouldn't worry about bad habits, but I do sympathise about the difficulties juggling the needs of two DC at bedtime. I have three children and it can be really hard to juggle the needs of a breastfed baby in the evenings when you're tired and your other children are tired!

Really I think you have three options:

• just let the baby cluster feed in the evenings and accept that's what she needs to do for now, as others have said you could always try reading to DD2 whilst you breastfeed, put the baby down for a few minutes whilst you settle DD2 in bed, and then return to baby and put her back on the boob for as long as she needs;

• try expressing some milk in the mornings and offer this as a top up feed in the evening to see if that helps her settle to sleep sooner;

• offer a formula feed in the evening - again, to see if that helps her settle to sleep sooner.

I must admit I cheat with my own DS3 (13 weeks) as I really struggle with the whole evening EBF cluster feed thing, and for the last six weeks I have completely replaced the bedtime breastfeed with formula. This basically means he takes a full bottle feed and then settles very quickly at 7pm. And I have time to snuggle up properly (that is 'properly' in the opinion of three year old DS2, who is fond of requesting a cuddle 'on your whole lap, mummy, without DS3 on it - the handsfree sling option just doesn't cut it for DS2 unfortunately!) for stories with my older two.

Obviously not everyone wants to supplement with formula, so I completely understand if this is not an option for you, but just thought I'd put it out there as an option. It really does sound as if your baby is feeding as she needs to feed as an EBF baby though.

Op do you have a partner? Or is there someone who could cone in for half an hour or an hour in the evenings and either help bath and bedtime for dd1 or just cuddle dd2 whilst you get on with dd1s bedtime routine?

Have you tried a different shape teat dummy? My lo is a comfort sucker and won't go to sleep in the evenings without using me or a dummy to settle. Dh usually has to put my other 2dd's to bed if I'm feeding but it's a bit hit and miss with the dummy. Sometimes she gags and spits it out, others she'll quite happily have it! I think you know whether your lo is feeding or comfort sucking so take the lead from her.

11 weeks is very small, and prime time for a growth spurt which includes cluster feeding in the evening. My DS2 is 21 weeks and he still feeds every 2 hours some most nights. Breast milk is digested easily and quickly and leaves their little tummies empty.

A sling is great to get on with other stuff. But in our house I do bedtime routine with the big 2 (6+8) while eeking ds2 out. Then when they go to their rooms I feed him to sleep. If DH is away I have to go in to turn their lights off but that doesn't take long. Then ds2 takes up to an hour to finish his feed and go off. I see it as lovely snuggly time seeing as he won't sleep on me all evening anymore however much I want him to is there anyway you could do an arrangement like that? They're small for such a short amount of time.

Thank you for all replying. I really appreciate it.
My dd seems to want to suck constantly over her nap time. I can never get her to settle any other way and she hates dummies. Because she has cmpi I'm living on a very limited diet and she still seems uncomfortable. I'm really considering going to the formula prescribed my our gp. Only thing is she doesn't take the bottle very well, 2oz max. Feeling very trapped at the moment