Talk to me about 10 month bf olds and tell me why mine doesn't sleep!

[monkeypuzzeltree]

Seriously I didn't know how good I had it with first child, this one doesn't sleep. My son is now 10 months, still bf and eats well - our day goes like this - any ideas how I can get it any better or is this just normal for others?

6.00 bf
7.30 porridge
9.00 quick bf and nap for 45 mins
11.30 lunch - Ella's pouch, yoghurt and fruit
1.30 small snack, biscuit or rice cakes
3.00 bf and nap for about 30mins
4.00 dinner - similar to lunch
6.30 post bath porridge! (Although not much and it makes no diff to seep if I don't give it!)
7.00 bf to sleep and that means into is pushchair - I kid you not because the second I lower him into a cot he wakes up an screams the place down - which then wakes my 3 year old and it all goes wrong
10 - DH gives a bottle of either formula or ebm depending if I've had time to pump - he might take 2-6 oz (again makes Jo difference to waking later)
2am - bf
4am- bf

I know I've got to get him into a cot at some point but with going to bed early I just have to get some time to eat dinner and this is the quickest way to settle - Gina would have a field day at this comedy routine!

I am truly knackered, any words of wisdom?! Thank you!

I would say your baby needs more naps during day time. As not enough sleep in the day, can lead to night time waking. At 10 months he should be more than capable of sleeping 7-7 with no night or dream feeds, although sticking with a dream feed at 10pm might be good until you have established better sleeping.

For example I have followed this routine for a 10 mnth old, at 11 months they had no feed at 11am just a snack.

7am wake
7.30 bfeed
8am Breakfast
9.30am Nap for upto an hour
11am b feed
12pm Lunchtime (similar to yours)
1pm Sleep for 1.5 hrs
3pm bfeed
5pm Supper
6pm Bedtime routine of bath
6.30pm 7oz bottle formula.
7pm-7am sleep no waking.

He has been sleeping through since 2 weeks, no definitely much better with sleeps than previously. Still wakes occasionally and is never offered food.

I would say your baby is probably in the habit of being fed, unable to self settle (sleeping in cot and teaching him how to settle in daytime will help I promise)

Does he had a dummy or a DD (a favourite toy) which he uses to soothe himself? If not I introduced the toy at 9 months and has worked wonders, he now knows it is sleep time.

I would also say he needs to not be falling asleep and not put down asleep, as otherwise he will not know how to help himself get back to sleep during the night.

Hopefully I have offered some help/advice. Although sure other mums (I am a Maternity Nurse) will offer their own opinions.

Here is the rough routine for my 9.5 month old. He is no longer bf though.

6.15 - up and 5 oz milk
7.15 - breakfast of cereal and toast
10 - 4oz milk and 30 min nap
12.30 - lunch. Today was chilli with rice then fruit and pancake
3 - 4oz milk and 70 min nap
7 - 7oz milk and bed

He may sleep through or may need dummy popping in or may end up in with me! There is no link with daytime naps. I stopped feeding him in the night about 4 weeks ago by accident, as he slept through a couple of times and then I just stopped offering him milk in the night. I reckon this has made a world of difference and he sleeps loads better now. I've always taken the path of least resistance but maybe you should consider dropping the night feeds gradually. You could start with one and then work on the other? Re getting him in the cot, do you keep trying? Mine just seems to go through phases.

Thank you. You are quite right about the sleep during the day, I am aware of that but he just can't settle himself. I guess I just need to boot camp the day time naps in a cot. I did try a few months back and he screamed until he was sick.

He was really very I'll at 3 weeks and in hospital for a week and so I guess that made me a little paranoid, so I was scared to let him cry almost. He is fine and very robust chap now, he is wearing 18-2 clothes!

Interesting that you give a bottle at bedtime - do you think that works better than bf?

I missed out dinner at 5. Today was fish, pots, carrots and cheese sauce followed by fruit and biscuit. All my timings are flexible except from dinner onwards. He has a bath at 6.30.

Oh and re dummies- he just doesn't know what to do with them! Crawls round with ones his sister has abandoned - she still takes one to bed but he just never got it! I wish he would!

He does go down in his cot some nights at bedtime, but I'm often on my own until late so it's just too tempting to do the pushchair when I need a break.

Pps mine naps on me during the day! As I said, path of least resistance.... Doesn't affect his ability to sleep in his cot at night though.

I was going to say picnmix!!

Um yes problem is being fed to sleep - when he wakes in the night, which everyone does, he doesn't know how to go back to sleep on his own.

You need to get him to sleep in his cot on his own - I would try pick up/put down (baby whisperer). You also need to stick to your guns - if done properly you could fix this in 3 days.

3 days! Off to google baby whisperer...!

I did try the shush pat thing a month ago. After two nights my husband renamed it shush, pat, feck off and pick me up!

Hmm, I guess ongoing to have to wait for this cold to pass first. Here I am at 1, he's not hungry just woken and panicked because he's so snotty.

Will start with trying daytime naps in cot before we tackle the nights.

Oh poor you! Yes probably best to wait till he is well.

I'm pretty sure the general consensus is most sleep problems can be fixed in 3 days if you are very committed! From what I remember shh pat is for babies under 3 months so PU/PD may work better. Good luck!

Quick reply here but feel free to pm me if you would like some sleep training advice. At his age, I would recommend pick up put down, but in fact due to his age you dont even pick up... you lie him back down, shhh him say I love you and walk out. It took me two nights and occasionally I do this now for daytime naps (aged 12 months) and it worked.

I am busy at work now, but yes if you did want more advice then pm me. Oh and at his age, (even at 12 weeks) some Maternity Nurses would suggest formula at 7pm as this will help him feel more satisfied and to go for longer in the night. He definitely does not need any night feeds between 7-7, especially as he sounds happy and a good weight/size.

The hardest thing is listening to him cry... I have helped parents through this. So please pm me if tou want a free chat!!

Thank you so much for your replies and sorry this is more about sleep than bf but I posted here because I've had the odd comment that maybe I should stop bf because formula would fill him up more - which I don't want to do or believe - its my beat weapon to settle him! But I do do one bottle a day now to give. Myself a break and so I will try the bottle at 7 instead - poor dh has been staying up taking an hour to get it into him so he is shattered too so that's not really helping!

Lets see how that goes and once this horrid cold has gone I will be doing some serious PU pD! Should add - re-reading my post, he does go into his cot after his 10 pm feed not in pushchair all night!!!

monkeypuzzletree, we have the same baby! Well, except mine does go into his cot, but wakes every 45/60 mins. I co sleep for naps and second half of night, but he still needs bf to sleep. Also wont take dummy or bottle.
I have posted a few times and lots of advice. I am going to start the day time nap, doing the Baby Whisperer. He has cut both top teeth this week, but more settled now. I need to do it for him really, as he needs better sleep.
It is so hard to hear them cry, my DS gets so upset too. really sobbing. But I have to be cruel to be kind...

Should have made it clearer that he still wakes for bfs every hour when co sleeping too.

I think it must be a 10 month thing. Both of mine started off as brilliant sleepers. By 7 months the cot was mothballed and an intricate system of bed guards on our divan, feeding to sleep, carefully placed pillows, sneaking off and then dashing upstairs at first squeak (before it makes a bid for baby freedom) had now been established.

Naps happen on/with me or dh (am enjoying the cuddles) or in the sling or pram if we're out. I made the concerted effort not to fight it this time round and find I'm much less stressed. That said, we're giving the cot another try this weekend, once dh had lowered it. Sorry I can't be any help. I know MIL can settle her and doesn't mind being sleptc on though, so we're still able to have the occasional night out.