Stopping extending feeding

[Llareggub]

My DS is 4 next week and for various reasons I feel it is time to stop. He asks for a feed day and night and if he wakes in the night, which is frequently. This is one of the reasons I'd like to stop.

He was away from me for a week recently and a feed was the first thing he asked for. I've tried saying no, but he jumps into my bed when I am asleep and feeds when I am half asleep and not quick enough to stop.

I really want to stop now. I've had 6.5 years of continuous feeding (I tandem fed) and I have enough! I need some strategies....

Sure you will get some more useful ideas, but one immediate thought is to wear something in bed that will prevent easy access to the sneaky milk bandit!? A sleep bra or t shirt or something.
Is he the youngest or are you continuing to feed a younger one?

Watching with interest! DD1 is 2.7 and still has at least one feed at night and one or two during the night - much more if she is ill. DS1 is only 4months and I'd like to feed him for at least a year, so I can't go down the 'they are broken, no more milk' route etc etc. I may just have to let her continue until I am ready to stop with DS1.

Can you send DH in to comfort in the night instead? We have given DD1 hot chocolate, which she likes - we will try this as a short term alternative when we try night weaning her again.

Can you maybe have something like the 'milk fairy' who comes and takes away your milk, but leaves a fab present in its place?! If you try anything that works, do let us know and good luck...

Do you have any rules about BF? My eldest is 4.6yo and we've set a few ground rules which she has found quite easy to stick to. It's much easier as they get older to discuss things. DD1 knows for example that she can't have any at night, that she mustn't ask every 5 minutes and that she must wait until I'm ready because they are my breasts and I have to be ready to share. Have you had any discussions like this about boundaries etc?

Depending on how you want to do it, setting limits might be the start of gradual weaning. If you want to do it more quickly then distraction and a change in routine is a different approach. Loving some of Haggisfish's ideas and tatyr's idea of wearing a bra at night might stop any ambush feeds.

Thanks for your suggestions. I'd love to send a DH in but there is just me! My other son is older so have tried the "it's broken" strategy but it didn't work. I have tried wearing bras etc but he is a demon for finding access. I may have to resort to bribery.

He has been through quite a bit over the last year with the impact of my ex and his alcoholism so I carried on to continue with the emotional benefits but I think we're through that now. Really I only carried on this long because it was easier than figuring out how to stop. My older one just decided he was too old when he was around 2 years and 9 months.