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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

350 replies

gail734 · 12/04/2013 18:52

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 12/04/2013 19:48

I've had a few negative ones, once on a train a man looked over and said it was disgusting to sit with tits out, the woman sat beside me pointed out to him he was reading the daily star and whilst he was obviously a fan of ogling womens breasts he was confused about what they were actually designed for!

Another time a woman asked if I had to do that in public, she was trying to eat her lunch and I was putting her off and could I not go to the toilet and feed. The waiter in the restaurant smiled and asked if she would like to be moved to the loo's since she thought it was an appropriate place to eat lunch.

And there was the wonderful old gent who brought me a cup cake and a cup of tea because his recently deceased wife loved a sweet treat and a cuppa when she fed her babies many moons ago. He made me cry

chocoluvva · 12/04/2013 19:48

Only one comment while I was feeding at a baby and toddler group from a mum who commented that it was nice to see someone BFing their baby.

mrsmindcontrol · 12/04/2013 19:50

My dad never let me BF infront of him. Would always have to go into a different room. Fuckwit.
When I was BF DS3 aged about 9 months, I had to have an operation & was asking the anaesthetist about the effect it would have on my milk. He asked me what on earth I was doing 'still' BF when he was that age....?Confused

HairyGrotter · 12/04/2013 19:50

Aww Glen, that's lovely. I'd have shed a tear too! What a gent

Ironbluemayfly · 12/04/2013 19:50

I only had positive comments about how good my baby was in restaurants, but I did tend to death stare at anyone who looked at me disapprovingly, which I think put them off saying anything.

MsBella · 12/04/2013 19:51

Yep! 'Why do you have to do that right in my face' man sitting next to me on a seat in a shopping centre and 'put your tits away you slag' by 1 girl in a group of 3 (I was breastfeeding in primark with dd in a sling
But to be honest it was a good excuse for me to have a rant at them, I was VERY angry to be honest

littlepeas · 12/04/2013 19:51

I've breastfed 3 dc - dc1 for 7 months, dc2 for 17 months and dc3 is 19 months and still going. I've never been approached when in public, but did get one particularly nasty look feeding approximately 9 month old dc3 on a bench at Chessington World of Adventures! My mum does not like breastfeeding and has repeatedly told me to stop since the day I had dc1. A close friend commented that I am becoming one of those mothers quite recently.

TheNebulousBoojum · 12/04/2013 19:53

Interesting how it's women commenting negatively or expressing distaste.

But Sprite was uncomfortable about an observation?
if you are doing something interesting, then people might ask something. I wonder how many would have been as comfortable as Fanny:

'Loads of positive comments, my favourite was an old man who wandered over when I was feeding DS, stroked his head and said " that's great, baby getting if on draught, just as he should" and off he went'

Grin That's lovely, but others might have felt that he should just have ignored her.

MsBella · 12/04/2013 19:54

Not to mention all the many, many comments made by people to eachother but not directly to me, been called a slag for it a few times which makes NO sense!

And a fair bit of tutting and disgusted/disapproving looks

BettyStogs · 12/04/2013 19:54

No, never anything negative. Keep expecting some comments now as DS is 19mo and still feeds occasionally in public. A few (mostly child free) friends and family members have asked things like how long I'll keep bf for, but in an interested way rather than negative.

littlepeas · 12/04/2013 19:55

*'ve had a few negative ones, once on a train a man looked over and said it was disgusting to sit with tits out, the woman sat beside me pointed out to him he was reading the daily star and whilst he was obviously a fan of ogling womens breasts he was confused about what they were actually designed for!

Another time a woman asked if I had to do that in public, she was trying to eat her lunch and I was putting her off and could I not go to the toilet and feed. The waiter in the restaurant smiled and asked if she would like to be moved to the loo's since she thought it was an appropriate place to eat lunch.

And there was the wonderful old gent who brought me a cup cake and a cup of tea because his recently deceased wife loved a sweet treat and a cuppa when she fed her babies many moons ago. He made me cry*

How bloody lovely. You've encountered some fab people (we'll ignore the fuckwit ones).

littlepeas · 12/04/2013 19:55

Quote was meant to be in bold - duh!

MrsKoala · 12/04/2013 19:55

aaawww Glen i have just cried a bit at that - altho i did cry at Tree Fu Tom earlier, so i may have pmt.

TheNebulousBoojum · 12/04/2013 19:58

Oops, not exclusively women, but enough to make me irritated that they are not supporting a woman's right to choose.
Who was the fabulous Mnetter years back who recounted the tale of feeding in a park with two young men walking past?
One gawped, the other belted him and said 'Stop perving, them's baby tits not looking at tits.' and apologised for his mate's lack of discrimination.

Pandemoniaa · 12/04/2013 19:58

Apart from ex-MIL who once wondered if I'd be "more comfortable" sat upstairs feeding 8 week old ds1 in the spare bedroom - to which I smiled and reassured her that I was as comfy as anything where I was - I only ever had favourable comments or none at all. Admittedly, as a very small titted person I suppose it wasn't that obvious when I was bf but for all that I didn't make any great efforts to conceal what I was doing. It was also surprising how many elderly ladies said how lovely it was to see a baby being bf.

PuffPants · 12/04/2013 19:58

Seriously? I never once encountered so much as a raised eyebrow. People were overwhelmingly supportive.

MsBella · 12/04/2013 19:59

I kind of thought everyone had had some bad comments, its absolutely great that loads of you never have!

glenthebattleostrich · 12/04/2013 20:01

I have been really lucky, there are some fab people out there.

HairyGrotter · 12/04/2013 20:01

My DD's childminder still breast feeds her 2 year old, she apologised, such a shame folk feel they have to. I couldn't give a shit, crack on.

My mum was very supportive, she BF all 4 of us, and told me all the 'home truths' of it, and even had empathy toe curls when DD was first latching on ha

PuffPants · 12/04/2013 20:01

YY to the elderly ladies, they generally commented more openly but it was always positive encouragement. I suppose in their day it was normal. It's our own mothers' generation where it fell out of fashion.

beginnings · 12/04/2013 20:03

All these nasty comments! The only ones I ever got were positive. In Ireland breastfeeding is even less common than in the UK. I was there visiting my parents when DD was a few weeks old. I was feeding her in a café and an older lady looked over at me and said "Aren't you great. Well done." That's a big compliment where I come from. Her friend looked a bit uncomfortable though Grin

My DMIL (who BF all five of her children!) did ask me if I'd be more comfortable out of the living room at her house - it was only at that point that my 17 year old nephew noticed what I was up to - he scarpered as soon as it was brought to his attention and I was accused of having made him uncomfortable. Sod that for a game of soldiers. I said I was quite happy where I was thankyouverymuch.

glen you just made me cry too! What a sensible woman and what a fabulous gentleman.

blueberryupsidedown · 12/04/2013 20:04

I was asked, in a hospital waiting room (incidently, where I had my DS2 three weeks before...) if I would like to go to a 'private room to do that discretly'.

It was a crowded waiting room because my DS 2 had broken his arm and we were waiting for his cast to be removed.

I gave the 'nurse' a load of whatnot, and as it were, other people in the waiting room backed me up and said that they didn't mind. It was Whipps Cross hospital in London.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 12/04/2013 20:04

I was breastfeeding on brighton beach when a group of lads walked past, one said 'hey look at that baby sucking its mum's tit, ooh it's turning me on, who's sucking on your titty toniiiiiight'

So yeah.

MrsKoala · 12/04/2013 20:04

As an aside - i'm starting to get a bit anxious, because DS is 7months and has 2 teeth and i'm getting quite a lot of 'oh, you aren't still feeding are you?' and 'isn't it time you stopped that' from friends and family. But if anything DS likes it more now he's weaning and i'm happy to continue. DH said i should have stopped by 2yo...

I think everyone was happy up to 3mo, but now they are starting to feel uncomfortable. i may need some good comebacks soon.

MrsCosmopilite · 12/04/2013 20:07

No, no negative comments. I bf in public places (cafes, shops, car park - in the car) when the need arose. People would have got a mouthful if they'd said anything though!