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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

help before I give up feeding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

31 replies

allyco · 07/05/2006 19:07

am typing one-handed so excuse typos etc.

DS now 19 days old and I swear has spent last 18 or so clamped to my norks. The only thing he wants is them and feeds go on and on and on...

He's happy enough (at least when he's sucking)loadsa wet and dirty nappies, gainng weight, etc. etc.

I BF'd his four sisters with no probs until they were all toddlers so I SHOULD know what I'm doing but am ashamed to say I'm floundering here. I just can't BF 24/7 because I have other things that I must do, let alone selfish me-time like getting a wash! Tried a dummy, again to my eternal shame, never used them before, but that just caused further protest. What should I do? Bring out the Cow and Gate?? I really don't want to..... Please tell me someone else has gone through this?

TIA

OP posts:

motherinferior · 07/05/2006 19:08

Oh sweetie, as far as I can remember both of mine were quite like this at this stage. If that helps.

ixel · 07/05/2006 19:11

At the risk of everyone hating me... bf him, but give him a formula bottle to realy knock him out before you want to go to bed/do something with the other kids? I did that with ds2 for a little while, then it all evened out, and he's just bf, no bottle for 6 weeks, but he's not feeding constantly anymore.
Or put him in the buggy and let him sleep for ages

Original poster

allyco · 07/05/2006 19:12

thank you MI. It's really hard when something happens that you haven't experienced before, and up to now I thought I was quite "good" at BFing!! .

He's at it again now. DH is on nights, one of the older DDs has littlest DD in the bath, which I should be doing, but here I am stuck on me arse feeding again....

OP posts:

Dottydot · 07/05/2006 19:13

oh - I remember this really clearly with ds2 - I know I didn't breast feed ds1 (wasn't his biological Mum!) but dp and I both agree it was harder to cope with with ds2 'cos I was tied to the settee for what seemed like weeks and weeks and couldn't do much with ds1 - it was sooooooo frustrating. I'd cry with ds2 feeding because ds1 and dp were in another room playing, or had gone out - it felt like our family was split.

sigh. don't know what to suggest except try to accept that it's going to be really tieing and make sure you've got all your lifeline things around you - phone, remote control, drink, laptop?! And the spaces between the feeds will get bigger!! Feel for you though... dp and I gave both ds's 1 formula feed from 3 weeks old, so we could each take part in feeding them - worked really well with both ds's taking breast and bottle without a problem, so don't feel guilty if you do go to formula for 1 feed or whatever - at least you'd get a 'break'..?!

gothicmama · 07/05/2006 19:13

ixel I'm with you sometimes you have to balance what is best for everyone bf'd dd until 18mths and ds is breast and formula seems to work

Original poster

allyco · 07/05/2006 19:13

ixel, I am really really tenmpted. Just as well the shops are shut cos I don't have bottles or anything in the house. If I did....

OP posts:

alex8 · 07/05/2006 19:14

My son did this and I thought I must be doing it wrong as no book mentions it (nor the hv or nct counsellor I spoke to) but luckily my friends had been through it so could help. Although when one said "he's just building up your supply" I wanted to scream but it was true. And I was glad in the long wrong as so many mothers I met who restricted feeding with timings etc went onto top up bottles or started a nightmare regime of feeding then expressing.

Original poster

allyco · 07/05/2006 19:14

and dotty you are so right about feeling split up. That's exactly how I feel

OP posts:

Jasnem · 07/05/2006 19:15

Yes, I've been there too. Keep on taking each day at a time, and you will get through it. I've found bf my ds much harder than my dds, so am also aware that it's different each time. The only breaks I got in the early days were when he slept inthe buggy after school runs.
I've made it to 10 weeks (today) qand feel very proud...I'm sure you will find a way too.

alex8 · 07/05/2006 19:16

can you get a sling you could feed in? That was what I am planning to do if I ever get a miracle and have a second baby as I have a very active 3 year old who I would have to chase after a lot.

mrsteacher · 07/05/2006 19:23

ds2 was like this...

allyco - I know youare near me - how about ringing local colleges and asking if they have any schemes where their nursery nurse students can come and give you a hand?

mrsteacher · 07/05/2006 19:24

have you got a sling?
i have a few here - what size are you? (rude question but I have a couple of pouch ones which go by size...)

Original poster

allyco · 07/05/2006 19:33

thanks for posts ladies, is keeping me going!!

yes, Mrsteacher, as it happens I just ordered a sling last night!! On basis it said you could use it to breastfeed discreetly. I think part of my problem is I am arse-bound a lot of the time. If I could feed while getting on with jobs etc. would probably help.

AND I notice that DSs seem to be harder to feed than DDs. I wonder why?

OP posts:

mrsteacher · 07/05/2006 19:34

its popsycal btw

good luck

alex8 · 07/05/2006 19:34

they are men!

suzi2 · 07/05/2006 19:49

Does he sleep in the pram? if so, get someone to take him for loads of walks! It's the only way I got my DS off me to start with. I also used a dummy though - he protested at first but if I held it in he got the idea.

suzi2 · 07/05/2006 19:52

and don't give up... it might be that tomorrow it will be different. My DS switched from being a 40 min feeder (and happy to suckle/sleep on boob) to a 15 min feeder that wanted away from me. It literally happened overnight. He was about 8 wks I think.

Original poster

allyco · 07/05/2006 20:05

he'll sleep in car, and doze in pram. I will sleep anywhere given the chance!!

he's still at it, BTW.

OP posts:

Enid · 07/05/2006 20:08

allyco if ist any consoluation my 10 day old is the same

CHECK YOUR LATCH as mine is a bit crap. for the last couple of days I have been really working hard on the latch and also doing breast compression at the end of a feed, taking her off then putting her back on the same breast. This all seems to hvae made her go 3 hours between feeds

suzi2 · 07/05/2006 20:38

If he sleeps in the car take him for a drive and take a pillow with you for yourself. Then once he's asleep pull back into the driveway and have a nap yourself. Your neighbours will think you're weird but I wouldn't worry...

beartime · 07/05/2006 23:22

My HV gae me some lifesaving advice - take him off after 40 mins as he will have got what he needs in that time and the rest he's just sucking.

NotAnOtter · 07/05/2006 23:27

if its any consolation allyco my ds4 is now 11 weeks and dd spends a few nights a week bathing ds3 - thats how it has to be with 5!
Hope feeding gets better - i feel like you but luckily new otter sucks his thumb (joy!)

Are you stopping at 5?

zan · 08/05/2006 12:02

allyco, My ds is 19 days today and I know exactly how you feel. The wee man was on constantly and was not happy in between it drove me and dh mad. dh gave in 4 days ago and went to 24 hr Asda @ 3am and bought all the stuff for bottle feeding. I did do both for a few days but my milk supply has dried up now. I can only assume he wasn't sucking hard enough for me to then supply more. I prob would stick at it longer but he was only 5lb 11 and I was worried. If you take him off dont beat yourself up about it. you really need your "me" time and he has had the really important bit.

mcnoodle · 08/05/2006 12:37

Get your HV to check tongue isn't slightly tied. Can be a common cause of long (interminable) feedings, even if latch is good.

bubblepop · 08/05/2006 14:44

allyco,do what you've got to do.you've got 4 other kids to see to! formula is not made by the devil. how about mix feeding ? at least he will still be getting some of the good stuff.

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