Help - two week old and breast feeding

[fempsych]

Hi

I wondered if anybody had any advice with the following situation: baby is just over two weeks old. Lost weight after birth but then milk came up and has since put on more weight then expected so definitely eating! But seems to have bad wind, pulls off the breast and possets and vomits a lot. At night she's feeding for nearly an hour and then not settling and waking to feed an hour later. So I'm sleeping for v short intervals.

I had a really long labour resulting in drip and epidural and feel like I haven't caught up on sleep. Now mentally exhausted and thinking about a formula dream feed that my partner can do - but worried about supply.

Any help/advice welcome ad I can't think straight!

fem - have you had a chance to talk to any of the bf helplines?

It's so hard to help on a talkboard when there are a number of issues.

I would ask you what makes you think she has wind, whether the possett/vomit is within normal (it could be), what happens when she pulls off, where she sleeps, what you have done so far....and prob other stuff too :)

Feeding for an hour is normal for this age - there is a lot of stop start and false endings of feeds :) . Waking up after an hour is also normal.

So ways of coping with this normal stage would be on the discussion list.

I'm experiencing exactly the same. My daughter is two weeks old and my nights are the same as yours. I'm thinking of doing bottles and pumping at night as the constant feeding is making my boobs feel very bruised. I know how u feel :(

Thanks tiktok.

I have read lots if previous threads and probably confused myself.

She sleeps next to our bed in a crib and I have been to a breast feeding clinic but they just said my latch was fine.

If feeding for an hour and then taking an hour and a half to settle before waking up again is normal than I guess I might have to resort to formula as the lack of sleep is effecting my mental health.

What do you mean by false endings? How will I know if she is really finished? And also whether she is actually tired or needs winding etc

Thank you for the help- sleep deprivation is clouding my brain!

Your latch probably is fine, fem :)

You may well be describing perfectly normal feeding.

When I say 'false endings' I mean the situation where you think your baby has had what she needs, she looks sleepy, she has stopped sucking and swallowing, and you make a move to remove her and she starts to suck and swallow again. She hadn't finished after all !

You did not say she takes an hour and a half to settle - what happens in that hour and a half? If she is settled but just appears to want to stay on or near the breast, even after feeding for ages and ages, then that's normal. If she is whimpering and unhappy and fussy and you are walking her round for that hour and a half every time and she does not want to have the breast again, then this could still be normal though exhausting....but most babies won't do this every time just some of the time....and even then it's always worth just offering them the breast again. And again. And again :)

Ok- maybe what I'm doing wrong is presuming she's finished. Also- health visitor told me she might be having too much milk causing stomach pain so I've been worried and not kept offering her breast - she pretty much always feeds.

There just seems to be so much conflicting advice. So far today she's been awake since 12.30'and isn't going to sleep. Feeds, comes off, winded, other breast, comes off and then wakes up. Hmmmmmm...

Thank you for your advice. I really am struggling with not sleeping and having a plan for tonight to try really helps as otherwise it seems never ending!

FP

"health visitor told me she might be having too much milk causing stomach pain"

Hmmmm...this is strange advice and a strange way of understanding the normal range of behaviours in new babies :( :(

Just feed her, keep her close, don't have pre-conceived ideas on how often or how much she 'should' be feeding, and enjoy the closeness and growing understanding.....while getting support and rest for yourself :)

Thank you

FP

Listen to tiktok and any BF experts in real life rather than slightly dubious HV advice you've been given. I got lots of support on here in the early days. What helped me was:

• co-sleeping (or even just co-lying is v restful if co-sleeping not for you)
• learning to feed lying down
• changing mindset that feeding the baby was my 'job' and don't worry about anything in the house (I was always trying to do stuff during a nap)
• realising its 100% normal for baby not to go to sleep in Moses basket/crib after a mammoth feed and only to sleep on/next to you
• babies feed for aaagggges sometimes or it seems like it! They like to be close and are also regulating your supply

Congrats and GL :). Gets much easier quicker than you think :)

Ds wouldn't settle at night in his crib at that age. Eventually I gave in and would sleep propped up in bed with him cuddled in to my chest (him on top of duvet, making sure as I could that we were safe). We both got a lot more sleep that way but I know it's not for everyone.

By around the 6-8 week mark he was sleeping in his cot and much easier to settle, so don't feel like whatever is happening now is necessarily forever.

The first few weeks were nuts, and I have a fairly easy baby. Great advice here. Co lying/sleeping, feeding on my side and letting DS sleep on DH & my chests while we tried not to doze off ourselves but occasionally did saved me.

Can your DP or a relative help you with night settling for a bit? and are you sleeping in the day? Get other people to settle your DD while you have 1.5 hours sleep between feeds at the very least. Use the money you would have spent on formula to buy nice ready meals (I like innocent veg pots and COOK lasagnes) and to hire a cleaner if you are bothered by mess.

It is exhausting but you will turn a corner. DS is 10 weeks and sleeps well in his Moses basket now and has done for a while.

I was lucky and had an easy baby, but if she was unsettled then my husband would take her away for a cuddle so I could get some rest, then he would bring her back and pop her onto my breast for a feed, sometimes without me really waking up.

Also I didn't change any pooey nappies, cook a meal or do any cleaning/tidying for the first month. That real life support makes a real difference.

Has your baby got reflux? Did the hv mention about raising one end of moses basket/cot and holding upright after feed to ease off vomiting

I would agree that the first few weeks a a haze. I think it's down to the shock to the system of birth itself- however you did it. I had EMCS and was chock full of morphene and I'm sure that took ages to get out of my system. I remember getting to about five or six weeks and still waking at night but not feeling quite so 'foggy'.

Oh, and you're just experiencing the lovely hormonal stage right about now too- I cried and cried like Lenny the lion and do you know what - when I look back now (DD is 4 months) I can't even remember why I was crying.

I do remember the feeling of all the conflicting advice, and feeling lost with the breastfeeding, and wondering was she putting on weight, was this, that or the other normal, but really- just by giving her breast milk you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby, and there's a lot to be said for mother's instinct. Go with your gut feeling, you're doing a fantastic job, and seriously, do rest in the day- don't even CONSIDER house work- got it?! :)

Thank you! Think a lot if it is hormones and not listening to my own instinct as to feeding etc. she's putting on weight well and is generally quite settled. I am now trying to sleep more during the day when she sleeps - no housework for me! DH is v good anyway and does that and the cooking. Goal is to get to 6 weeks- we are at three weeks tomorrow!