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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Any ebf-ers about?

34 replies

FredWorms · 10/02/2013 23:08

Inspired by another thread I wondered whether there are any about who have fed for years like myself (DS is 6.7)?

The thing is, these threads always seem to get so political and I'd quite like to ignore all that and just talk about it a bit. (Makes me sound like a journo, I'm not).

I think DS may have stopped bf now, I realised this earlier today, and I think it's interesting that I'm not particularly sad, unlike many seem to be. It's been such a long, slow weaning, years fgs!, that I haven't really noticed.

OP posts:

cheddarcheeselover · 11/02/2013 00:28

Hello! I know what you mean about just wanting to talk about it without a 'debate'. I bf dd1 till she was almost 4, through my pg with dd2 and tandem with dd2 for a while, still feeding dd2 now and am pg again.
I think I'm probably heading for at least a decade of bfing by the time they're all finished.
I dont remember dd1s last feed, she wound down sooo slowly, one day I just realised she hadn't asked for ages, and she never asked again.

MaMaPo · 11/02/2013 00:32

I thought you meant 'exclusively breast-feeding' and was definitely to see you refer to your 6-year-old child!

Midori1999 · 11/02/2013 00:45

My DD is only 19 months, but I suppose even that young age is considered 'extended' breastfeeding by some.

I have to admit, I quite enjoy BF most of the time, but I do it for DD really and I suspect she will continue for quite some time yet, as she loves nursing. I don't think I'll feel sad whatever age she weans at though, as it will be her choice when she stops and that is good enough for me.

SirBoobAlot · 11/02/2013 00:58

MaMaPo was there really a need for that comment? If it wasn't what you were expecting the thread to be about, don't post and move on... Sheesh.

DS self weaned in October just before he was three. I didn't really feel anything at the time, but have felt sad since I think that's partially because he may well be my only child due to health reasons, though. He's very cute about it now, he remembers breastfeeding, and if he sees another baby having milk he talks about it, then says very sweetly, "But I don't have milk any more, because I drank it all!". He also just one day didn't ask for it any more, so no big drama about it. I kind of wish I knew when his last feed had been, but at the same time, glad it was so casual for him, and that he made the choice himself :)

constantnamechanger · 11/02/2013 01:13

I have 3 under 5 - the oldest has self weaned - the 3 year old and 7 week old nurse together.

I refuse to push any of them away. So I feed them.

AbbyCat · 11/02/2013 01:28

Am not an ebf, but hoping to be this time round! My ds self weaned at 15m when i was pg with dd. I still feel sad about it and had dreams of continuing and tandem nursing. (Although am now glad I'm not tandem nursing as I think I would find it too physically draining). He used to pat my boobs and ask or milk but refuse to drink once latched and i felt so inadequate for not being able to give him what he wanted. I even tried offering his some after dd was born but he looked at me like i was a crazy loon for flapping my boob at him and offering milk! Dd is 4m now and I have no intention of weaning till she's ready!

BaronessBomburst · 11/02/2013 01:36

Off to bed but just joining the thread. DS will be 3 next week and is a very enthusiastic feeder, brings his toys, and has even been known to ask other people if they want some too. :)

EauRouge · 11/02/2013 08:26

Yes, I don't know why I got caught up in that debate either

I haven't gone on that long, DD1 is only 4yo. Not sure if she will or not, she's already started losing her sucking reflex sometimes it's like sticking my boob in a Dyson. I can't see myself feeding a 6.7yo but never say never, eh? My HV were furious when I refused to rule out breastfeeding an 8 yo. I probably wouldn't but it was worth it just to piss them off!

Lol at Baroness' DS- that's lovely that he wants to share!

MissTapestry · 11/02/2013 10:46

I took Mamapo's comment to mean that she was to think of EXCLUSIVELY bf a 6yo, so no solids, just bf! Maybe crossed wires?

Mama1980 · 11/02/2013 10:49

Hi I breast fed ds1 until he was 4 then he stopped naturally no fuss no nothing I have ds2 in nicu at the moment but am planning to do the same with him.

QueenOfFarkingEverything · 11/02/2013 10:49

Don't know if I count - DS is 2.6 and still BFing morning and evening. He's slowing down a lot of his own accord though, and sometimes refuses milk as he is far too busy But I have no plans to 'stop' him and will carry on for as long as he wants to.

BrainGoneAwol · 11/02/2013 11:10

Ds is only little, so I'm not really supposed to be on here , but wanted to say how much admiration I have for your dedication - I don't think I could do it - and also how sweet some of the dc comments are! "I drank it all"!

NoHaudinMaWheest · 11/02/2013 12:09

This is good. I have been wanting to share my experiences but not in an AIBU bun fight. (I have made myself a rule never to post in AIBU).

I am no longer bfing as my Dcs are 16 and 12. I fed Ds until he was 3.5 including being pg with Dd. The day Dd was born he decided to stop. He had one sip and then said no. I'm not sure if he felt it was for the baby or if he didn't like the taste of colostum.
I fed Dd until she was just over 9. She didn't wean naturally either. I had had a hysterectomy and couldn't climb into her high sleeper bed. I offered to feed her in my bed but she said that the whole point was being able to feed and feel snuggly and then go straight to sleep. When quite a while later I could climb up again she only wanted a cuddle though if I remember rightly she stroked my breasts for a while before going on to just cuddles. Now she doesn't want me in her bed at all.

constantnamechanger · 11/02/2013 12:15

brain it gets easier with time.

BiscuitCrumbsInBed · 11/02/2013 12:23

I'm still bf my 18mo, does that qualify as 'extended'?! I saw a few of you on the AIBU thread and was so impressed by the calm responses by the bf'ers to some people who were really being quite unpleasant.

My DD loves feeding and so do I - I can't imagine her deciding to stop for a while. She has a nasty cough today and is snuggled up on my lap right now having a lovely feed, cuddle and snooze, and I'm just glad I can give the physical and emotional comfort she needs. She's still a baby, I'm her mum, that's my job and I love it!

EauRouge · 11/02/2013 14:35

I think I'm going to leave the AIBU thread now, it's just going over the same points again and again. It was a good debate at one stage though and I hope think there was some food for thought in there.

Brain it definitely does get easier with time! It's effortless at this stage. Also you can be away from them for longer periods of time so you can go back to work or the pub. And it comes into its own as a parenting tool. Everything is fixed with boob

It's great that people feel comfortable enough to share their experiences here, it's lovely to read about older children breastfeeding. :)

TepidCoffee · 12/02/2013 08:49

I refuse to post my experiences on that kind of thread and expose myself to the actually quite upsetting and gross insinuations made by some posters. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You'll never change their minds.

I'm still feeding my 2.4yo DS and am 38 weeks with number two. I will be shocked if we don't end up tandem feeding because even though he feeds much less frequently than he did even six months ago, he is still very vocal about needing to bf when he needs to.

I've actually found it pretty horrible feeding through pregnancy - lots of tenderness and some periods where I've felt an actual aversion - but he's telling me he still needs it and I want to respect that. The extended bf'ing myth that pisses me off the most is the one saying its all about the mother past a certain stage. It's really bloody not!

And breathe :o.

EauRouge · 12/02/2013 09:37

Haaaa, 'all about the mother'- I wonder if those people have ever met or even bothered to ask an ExtBF why she does it? There's so much ignorance but that doesn't seem to stop people stating their opinion (or getting opinion and fact confused). Actually the reduced risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer is a big incentive, so I am also thinking about myself.

I also found pregnancy a bit tough but as soon as DD2 was born it really improved. The first year or so was lovely, they would hold hands and gaze at each as they fed . Now they just hit each other

TepidCoffee · 12/02/2013 09:52

Thanks for the reassurance, Eau.

I suspect that DS1 will be the jealous type, so there is some selfishness in carrying on as I hope it will ease the transition for him. There is a lot of tantrumming in our house at the moment, I couldn't cope with too much more!

EauRouge · 12/02/2013 09:55

Oh yeah, it definitely helped the transition. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise!

I've been asked to look after a friend's DS while she's in labour and I'm a bit worried about how I will cope if he cries because normally I just solve everything by BF. I was half-hoping she would say 'just BF him if you need to' Obv I would never do it without her permission. Apparently he falls asleep in the car so I can just take him for a drive if he gets upset.

Lostonthemoors · 12/02/2013 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TerrariaMum · 12/02/2013 18:58

TepidCoffee, it is always nice to hear that someone else does the bfing through pregnancy and has had the aversion feeling. I'm about 30 wks with DC2 and 2yo DD still bfs. Sometimes I have had to grit my teeth to get on with it, but the sweet times make it worth it.

Lostonthemoors, good for you.

NoHaudinMaWheest · 12/02/2013 21:32

TepidCoffee. Yes I had forgotten about the tenderness of feeding while pg. Although my Ds was about 1 yr old than yours when dd was born he was still very attached to bfeeding. I really thought that I was going to tandem feed but as I posted above he decided for himself to stop. Mind you there were lots of tantrums when I wished heartily that he still was.

PirateHat · 12/02/2013 21:47

I haven't looked at the AIBU thread but it was reading one of those years ago that made me see it from the mother and child's point of view, rather than it being one of those weird things you see on Channel 4 docs. So don't think it's pointless to put your point across, plenty of lurkers on AIBU.

I'm now feeding 2.7yo. He's bloody obsessed with it and feeds like 7mo. But he has health problems and I've seen the way his monitor stabalises as soon as he starts feeding. And he's skinny and goes off food easily. Plus sometimes I need to make phonecalls without him screaming in the background.

I hate that I find myself (needlessly) justifying it to medical people or other mothers because I do feel more self conscious about it as he's getting older. My ex is putting pressure on me to stop as well.

Original poster

FredWorms · 12/02/2013 23:29

I think unless you have fed for a (comparitively) long time it is hard to understand. For me (and DS) it's a barely conscious process, I don't think about it much at all and I'm sure he doesn't either. We never talk about it, to each other or anyone else. We don't avoid the topic, it just doesn't come up, and why would it? From his point of view it's like, i dunno, breathing.

I remember watching that (famous amongst MNers) documentary with the woman feeding the 7-8yo girl and finding it a bit odd, and now I'm nearly there myself!

I wonder whether the weaning/teeth/latch thing is correct? DS has lost his 2 front teeth, feeds more and more infrequently (about twice a week now), and quite often makes this sort of windy slurp noise (we both giggle) which would suggest he's losing the latch? I think I might be a teensy bit relieved, I never wanted to force the issue but I was beginning to wonder whether at some point I might have to (like when he leaves for uni or something )

OP posts:

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