What am I supposed to do...

[lazzaroo]

...when baby won't go along with the plan!...

Problem 1 - cluster feeding, tiring me out, constantly hungry. Solution? 'give her an occasional bottle'....we've tried, so far no success at getting her to take bottle. Have tried 3 different types.

Problem 2 - comfort sucking, trouble releasing wind. Solution? 'give her a dummy'...ok, but she won't/can't keep dummy in her mouth. Sure she'd benefit if she could get hang of it.

Problem 3 - only sleeps on the move, being rocked etc solution? 'get a sling'....got a sling, she doesn't like it!!

Help! Just getting one of the above to work would de-stress this house massively. She is 6weeks and I have 3 yo to entertain too. Husband works away in the week.

Tips please!

Hi lazzaroo :) Some babies do like to be carried a lot. Would you say your baby was very windy? Sometimes if a baby doesn't latch well they take in a lot of air during a feed. This might also explain the very long feeds. How do feeds feel to you- comfortable or not? Does she ever make any clicking or slurping noises as she feeds? Is she gaining well?

Can't help with 1. And 2. as my dd won't take either... Friends with dummy refusers tried 'gumdrops' ones available on eBay.
On 3. What kind of sling are you using? My dd would scream to start with because she was overtired etc, but really being in a sling should be the most natural place in the world for a baby. Personally I love a stretchy wrap for newborns- so snug and comfy for them. I know they 're not for everyone tho.

She is quite windy but I haven't had any problems with her feeding. I do have over supply though which doesn't help. She doesn't feed for long each feed. But she is unsettled early evening when I need time for my other little one. I am also desperate to have the option of occasional bottle as my first would never take one & I felt terribly restricted.

Weight gain is no problem. She was born 8 lb 6 Oz and weighed 10lb 11oz at 4 weeks. 91st percentile.

It is getting to me when people flippantly say 'give her a dummy' or 'give her a bottle' I'd love to! And wonder why everyone else finds it o easy but not us. I fear history is going to repeat itself.

We have a bjorn, which she loves...but only really when outside! It's okay for short spells but my back don't really appreciate it. If she falls asleep put in pushchairs or bjorn or car seat she wakes as soon as we get in.

Tried moby wrap as everyone raved about it. She wasn't keen yesterday but I'll persevere!

Clearly I meant doesn't! Should also mention she has oral thrush. Sorry typing this while keeping her in upright rocking position to sleep & overseeing breakfast!

hello! have you tried baby masssge? we've been doing it on our 16 day old who had trapped wind which made her yelp in pain and it really helped when used in conjunction with infacol. I don't have the link but dh found it on YouTube. we do it at every feed. sometimes during an after. it takes a minute.

The other problems are probably linked to the wind problem -she is struggling to get comfy cos of wind and piling milk on top of wind is uncomfy too.

cluster feeding in pm/early eve is normal and not a lot you can do about it. I know you've tried bottles without success but ifyou want to try again then we found dr brown bottles excellent for the windy baby (our ds also suffered with painful trapped wind).

good luck. i feel your frustration.

Hi lazzaroo

I had these problems with my baby (now 8 weeks) for the first couple of weeks it felt like she was constantly feeding and wouldn't take a dummy (still won't). We found that if we placed our finger in her mouth (the tip against the roof) she'll suck quite happily and fall asleep after abit, unless shes hungry then she spits it out.

She is also a very windy colicky baby so we give her Colief. At 1st i gave her it on a spoon with a bit of breastmilk with every feed for a couple of days. I then dropped down to every other feed, then four times a day. Now she has it twice a day. Its expensive (£12 a bottle) but it worked and she now has it on repeat prescription.

After someone suggesting that i may have oversupply i read about it on the la leche league website (really recommend reading it if you can find it, i can't link it as i am on my phone). I recognised alot of the symptoms as my DD had them increased weight gain (like your LO mine was born at 8.6lb now 13.13lb) increased gassiness, fussiness at breast etc etc. They gave tips to combat it, one of which is block feeding so that you ensure that baby is getting more hind milk. Since doing this my DD is alot more settled and happy and doesn't feed as much. (But is still gaining weight and has stayed in the 91st centile).

Lastly i had Mastitis which lead to me being put on antibiotics which gave my DD oral thrush and me thrush in my breast (wow its painful). Please please make an appointment with your GP today (if you explain your BF you'll get an appointment) and both get treatment because if only one of you gets treatment you'll pass it back and forth.

Sorry for the long reply. Hope some of it helps.

Thank you for all replies.

We do use massage. I went to a class with my first and it helps.

Thanks for pointer to la leche info. I have read it & it all fits with our experience. It just makes me feel like I am the cause of her problems & feel like she'd be better off on bottle...but she won't take one! Ahhh! I have had desperate days of wanting to give up but can't. Feel a bit trapped by it all.

She has daktarin gel for thrush but it's not clearing up. I have cream too. I am also on antibiotics for mastitis after trip to dr's yesterday.

All the h/v's are bothered about is her weight gain. Not that she's unsettled between feeds. They suggested dummy, which of course we're getting nowhere with.

Don't know what else to try! Thanks again for all ideas. I know there is no miracle answer or any such thing as an easy baby...but I feel like we are trying so hard to do our best for her & getting everything thrown at us. We had hard time with first...reflux, bottle refused, dummy refused, cat napper....so hoped this time round we'd get a bit of a break!

Thats exactly how i felt, trapped and like i was doing everything wrong. The block feeding seems to be the only thing thats turned it round for me. Also we give a bottle of formula of a night. (I cried when she had her 1st one i felt like such a failure) I think you should do whatever you need to for your peace of mind, happy mum = happy baby. I also couldn't give her the bottle the 1st week as she wouldn't take it off me, i suspect she could smell the real stuff.9

It's like she can read my thoughts...today she fed at 8, slept till 10. Fed again. Had a little kick around and is now sleeping again. I mean properly asleep, on her own, in her cot!! I actually feel human, like a proper mum to my 3 year old...and guilty for making it all sound so hard!

I have shed many tears over feeling like I want to stop feeding. Especially as I fed my first for so long ( not by choice! ). but I am sure knowing she would take a bottle would relax me. Unfortunately she just doesn't seem to get the hang of sucking, rather chews on it! Will persevere! Thanks again.

We have tommee Tippee, mam & nuk bottles! I have done a lot of reading (while feeding!) on the 'best' bottles for transition from breast. Nuk & mam definitely most promising but still need work!! We spent a fortune on various bottles with our first as we were in the same situation then. This time I MUST persevere. Don't know how I can make it work but I must for my sanity!

We have the shaped tommee Tippee dummies. She has moments of success with these but it's short lived!

Thanks for tip off about block feeding. Thought that was the way to go but now I'm not so sure. Don't want her to end up even hungrier!!

Yeah, she'll suck on a finger! Have used that to get her to sleep before! It's like if it's not part of an actual person she won't be fooled!

Maybe one day she'll just suddenly get it?!