Hospital stay has ruined bf - help please x

[Pandasandmonkeys]

My DS is 14 weeks old and EBF. Last weekend he caught a vile tummy bug from my niece and spent the weekend in hospital on a drip and nil by mouth. Before our hospital stay he was a VERY happy, chilled out baby, fed beautifully all day and has slept 8/9 hours thru the night from 9 weeks old. While in hospital, we had horrible nurse who said I couldn't bf (even thou dr said I could) for 48 hours. After 36 hours of watching him suffer, I fed him and his recovery was incredible from that point on. Since being out, his feeding pattern is all over the place, he's demanding milk all the time and is back to feeding 2 or 3 times during the night. I'm not refusing any of these feeds. He is getting so so distressed before each feed and after he lets go at the end of a feed, it's as if he's unsure if he'll ever get it again. I'm starting to feel that out hospital stay has ruined out bf relationship, like he's lost the complete trust he had in me to feed him on demand. Has anyone been thru this? I've no intention of giving up, but this is awful and I'm getting sore from the near constant feeding and upset at seeing him so distressed before and after every feed. He used to always smile at me with lovely eye contact while feeding now he just suckles for dear life like it may be his last.

Oh pandas, that sounds so distressing! I don't have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job for your son. I wonder if he's still recovering generally from his illness and so his cling ones is more to do with that than a trust issue?

Either way, you're doing a tremendous job. Good luck.

Cling ones > clinginess

Sending you a huge hug. You are doing a great job. It must have been incredibly stressful for you with DS in hospital. Keep going, it will get easier. You both must be exhausted, it will get easier and life will get back on a more even keel.

Thank you, I think he is pretty much recovered from the bug. I've just got him back off to sleep after waking up screaming and feeding for dear life - my poor wee man :(

I'm no expert but its late and I didn't want to read and r.this is only my experience of feeding one child for nearly six months. In that time her feeding pattern has changed and been all over the place, there just is no consistency.it sounds like you both had a horrible experience.I only had a hard time with stupid nurses undermining breastfeeding at the start. I think in your situation I'd go back to basics.loads of skin to skin, if you can spend a few days having a mini baby moon, even just one day, spent snuggled on the sofa or in bed.
My little girl had been distressed for reasons only she knows why, feeding a lotlike the way you describe your son is. I've tried to give her a bit more skin to skin this weekend and she seems to be relaxing.
You might want to get some lansinoh, you can get it prescribed by a gp.
Mainly though I think sometimes we project too much onto our babies how we feel about things,I think they live in the moment far more than we do.its easy to say, but try not to worry too much, he won't remember the hospital and it sounds like you are giving him what he feels he needs right now.keep doing what you are doing. It really is true when people tell you this too shall pass and the more you believe that and the less you worry the sooner your little boy will calm down, they really do mirror how we are feeling, you are his whole world right now, which means you can make it right for him just by being you . Very unmumsnetty hugs, but you sound like you are doing a very good job at a hard time,!

Panda, good info already here.

Your baby has had a difficult experience and though it's right that he will not 'remember' his hospital stay, he will certainly be affected by it, and be anxious and distressed. 36 hours without breastfeeding (and that familiar contact with you that comes with it) is very upsetting for a baby...but you are building his trust again and skin to skin, loving patience, and unconditional contact will do the trick.

Please write to the hospital and let them know how the nurse undermined your doctor's advice. Breastfeeding is hardly ever contraindicated and in fact as you have found is very effective as 'medicine' for gastric upsets. Formula may be withheld sometimes in these situations - not bf.

I made a complaint the next morning to the ward sister. She dealt with everything very effectively and even arranged for the consultant to come back to me and apologise for not making his instructions clear enough to the nurse on the night shift. Although it was hardly his fault as the nurse was there when he gave the instruction in the first place. Thanks for all the advice. We've had lots of skin to skin cuddles this morning and he does seem a little happier for it. Also just had a very long, distressing screaming session that is very out of character for him. He's finally cried him self to sleep in my arms and is sleeping peacefully in the crib