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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Things my hv said at dd's 6 month review yesterday

103 replies

bumbleweed · 25/04/2006 18:20

Just a bit surprised what I got at dd's 6 month review visit from the health visitor yesterday - I was feeling quite pleased for making it to 26 weeks bf after a rocky start and a few hiccups along the way. Am enjoying starting to wean, and am very tired from dd's night-time wakings and looking for a bit of support. I felt like I got told off all round.

" Oh why didnt you start weaning at 4 months, didnt you know the WHO guidelines are aimed at third world countries and not ours?" (but surely our government's doctors and experts wouldnt have adopted those guidelines then and published loads of information on them would they?)

"But babies dont need feeding during the night once they reach 6 months, its a habit - only a very small minority of babies dont sleep through the night by 6 months!" (oh right, what a bad mother for creating a habit by feeding my hungry baby ..)

"Dont give her too much sweet food or she wont take savoury" (we're talking apple and banana here not cadbury's cream eggs)

"Try to get her onto 4 tablespoons of food, 3 times a day within a few weeks" ( but we're only a week into solids and at the moment she's just tasting the food and getting used to swallowing it and feeling it in her mouth..)

"Babies get all the milk they need in the first 5 minutes, you can break them off after that if you want, the rest is just for comfort" ( .. but what about the hindmilk?)

No wonder people are totally confused by the subject of feeding and weaning - the advice is contradictory and confusing even to the well-informed.

OP posts:

morningpaper · 25/04/2006 22:43

Karma got it from a friend who is a breastfeeding counsellor

Olihan · 25/04/2006 22:48

The HV's here are sodding useless too.

When I had ds we were having real problems breastfeeding - he hadn't gained any weight in 3 1/2 weeks and had got to the point where he was feeding constantly.

HVs came, lectured me about how he wasn't getting enough hind milk, grappled with my boobs for 10 minutes or so, wrote in my red book 'baby not taking areola', told me to feed him every 3 hours and left.

No info or help on how to latch him on better, totally ignored me when I pointed out that he was feeding for and hour and a half, every hour and a half.

DH had to come home from work I was in such a state. He was

With DD I've taken her to the clinic twice since she was 6 weeks.

Stupid morons.

threelittlebabies · 25/04/2006 23:29

Oh no, got dd's 8m check next week. Anyone want to come with me?!

at some of these horror stories. Mine haven't been too bad...yet. But a bit "concerned" about dd's weight- she is 2nd centile so I am sure we will have a lovely discussion about it. Will remember some of your responses- esp MI and morningpaper

milward · 25/04/2006 23:55

Gosh BW - what rotten 'advice' - complete rubbish in fact. Lol at the bit about the WHO guidelines being for the 3rd world. Beyond belief.

Well done for the bf xxx

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/04/2006 00:18

Still cant believe i went along with my HV (first time round when DD wouldnt take soya formula) who told me i SHOULDNT mix the formula with breastmilk to get her used to it.

The HV's i have now are fab though.

ghosty · 26/04/2006 03:12

This thread made me remember a bizarre conversation I had with a doctor when DD was about 7 months. She had developed a rash after having a vaccination and I was a bit worried. He said he thought she may be allergic to dairy. I told him that she didn't have any dairy as she was breastfed and at that point I was mixing her baby rice and pureed veggies with EBM.

"Hmmm, best to put her on soya milk then," he said.
"Umm, why is that?" I asked.
"Because I think she is allergic to dairy"
"But I just told you, she is breastfed, she doesn't have any dairy,"
"Well, I think you should stop the dairy and put her on soy formula"
WTF??????????
I just looked at him and started pmsl. I said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I have already told you that she is breastfed, so she isn't on any dairy and if you are suggesting that breastmilk is dairy I would like to remind you that I am not a cow!"

It was hilarious ... he looked really embarrassed and said he was really sorry, that he wasn't thinking!

Harpsichordcarrier · 26/04/2006 08:01

I have never been to the clinic with dd2 (though she has been for her injections) because, like mp, my blood pressure can't stand it...
ifI want rubbish advice, I can get that from my MIL. no need to take a trip in the car and stand in line for it.

Karmamother · 26/04/2006 08:06

very funny, HCC! Will try & use that one in daily convo today!

moondog · 26/04/2006 10:21

MP,that is so mad and funny.
I am also appalled to hear the guff they spout about language development,being a speech and language therapist meself.

Being an avid b/feeder and a SALT and very argumentative,I would love to have a ruck with HVs re either of these,but irritatingly,all our HVs are spot on when it comes to lang. development and b/feeding (as well as being friends and colleagues.)

I have to find my dingdongs elsewhere.

panicpants · 26/04/2006 10:38

How true HCC :o

I'm still awaiting the phonecall from the HV following our trip to A&E a couple of weeks ago. Was beginning to think they'd forgotton but went to get ds weighed last week and HV say's

'Oh was about to ring you, about you know..'
'Oh' says I
'Yes I'll give you a ring later so we can talk in private'

Well I'm guessing she meant the trip to A&E, or maybe about my PND. Either way that was a week ago and she never did ring.

Good job I'm fine, and don't actually need her to ring. :)

NotQuiteCockney · 26/04/2006 13:28

MD, if it helps, I did meet a GP at an Xmas party, a few years back. Their practice had had an HV who told mothers that if they breastfed past 6 months, their child would never learn to talk.

Tommy · 26/04/2006 13:44

NQC OMG - it is no surprise at all that breastfeeding is so "unfashionable" in this country. Sad to say that my HV was very similar and I hadn't seen her since DS1's 8 month check (he's now 2.8). I got a lett the other day though saying I had a new HV - hurrah - wonder what she'll be like?

ggglimpopo · 26/04/2006 13:51

Can I just say here that I was one of the lovely health visitors, not an evil one

And I had dozens of children of my own on which experiment with my own advice....

So who wants to pick a fight with me then?

NotQuiteCockney · 26/04/2006 13:54

One of my local friends is a HV, well now she's an HV-supervisor. I'm sure her practice is lovely, she's very mellow and relaxed and pleasant and all that. And very pro-bf and well-informed, and interested in keeping her HVs well-informed.

(My other favourite mad-HV quote. A friend was told, when her baby was around 4 months, that his head was growing disproportionately to his body. And to fix this, she should give formula. Sensibly enough, she decided that disproportionate body growth was the sort of thing you should be seeing a paed for, and as the HV wasn't referring her to a paed, she refused to take it seriously.)

podkin · 26/04/2006 13:59

my HV is actually quite sweet. She has suggested a couple of things re my dd's excema, which have worked, as opposed to the steaming pile of shite I got from one doc. She is very supportive and takes time to have a proper chat when we meet, rather than just fobbing me off each time. Mind you, some of her colleagues would prob fall into the same category as all the other hvs on this thread...

Marne · 26/04/2006 14:01

D1 has her 2 year check next week, im going to be in trouble,

DD1 still has a bottle in the midle of the night and is still on SMA.

She has never slept through the night.

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:09

NQC.... at both examples!!

robin3 · 26/04/2006 14:15

This brings back memories....I thought my HV would be a friend in this time of need...

No....

limp, late and lowsy advice.

I particularly like the day she pitched up and asked me to fill in a questionnaire which basically asked me to state if I'd ever had suicidal thoughts. I duly filled it in and she said 'all seems fine' and left.

DP and I agreed, after calling them one day to ask about a baby ailment, never to call again and we've never seen any of them since.

Useless.

ggglimpopo · 26/04/2006 14:30

Yes, but you should hear some of the stories hvs have to tell.

Like a woman whose children ran amok on a housing estate and were never there when the hv came to call. The hv said she would be there the following morning and that the woman should make sure that the children were there this time. HV called, woman opened door and hv saw the children - tied to the furniture to make sure that they "would not bloody escape". They were aged 3, 4, 5.

Or the woman who came to ask if she could have money to help feed her daughter because the food bills were too high. Child would eat nothing but the prawns out of m and s prawn cocktail sandwiches.

The parents who bought a vibrating bed with charity money donated to buy a fridge, cooker and washing machine as they had three children and no fridge, cooker or washing machine. They bought a second hand telly with the change left over from said bed.

Like hvs, there are some amazing families, some brilliant parents, some just doing the best they can, some who do not know any better, some who do not care - and some baddies who sometimes take your breath away.

moondog · 26/04/2006 14:33

Bonkers ggg!
I could tell yuo some weird shit too but as will be returning to work in a year or so,better not.....

sazhig · 26/04/2006 15:29

Report her. She is completely ignoring the guidleines she should be working within.

Take this to her next time you see her (which, tbh if it were me I wouldnt ever see her again if her knowledge is that far out of date): \link{http://www.dh.gov.uk/assetRoot/04/09/69/99/04096999.pdf\these are the guidelines she should be using}

Karmamother · 26/04/2006 22:15

ggg, my God! I love to hear stories like this, they brighten up my day. I'm a nurse & one thing we love is to swap tales of the "funny things patients do"!!!!

cheeseypeas · 26/04/2006 23:12

She sounds like your typical '50's-throwback' health visitor. Know's better than the doctors, scientists, professionals etc etc.

This type seem to get their jobs 'back in the day' and carry around out-dated advice, totally unchecked, doling it out in all its glory on any unfortunate Mum sent their way. Grrrrr. Sorry.

Well done you for smiling sweetly and getting out of there asap.

sleepycat · 27/04/2006 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maretta · 27/04/2006 09:50

Bumbleweed, I had a very similar experince to you with my hv.
I took ds to be weighed at 25 weeks. He was still being exclusively breastfed at the time.

HV: His weight gain is excellent, very good. What's he eating?
Me:Nothing, he's not six months yet.
HV:Oh, now you do realise that if you hold out to six months, you need to wean very quickly. He should be on two meals a day within a fortnight. He'll need the calories. You do realise that?
Me: No.

She then offered me further information which I refused. I so wish I'd said yes just for curiousity.

I'd have had slightly more respect if she'd said he'll need iron or vitamins after 6 months but calories!! Obviously there are more calories in carrots than in breastmilk.

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