4 week old who always seems hungry!

[RainDancer]

I am ebf my 4 week old dd but am struggling and feel like I am doing something wrong and letting her down. If she is not feeding or asleep she is usually crying and I feel terrible that she is so upset so much of the time. For the past couple of days she has fed for say 10 minutes and then stopped swallowing or dozed off, but 5 minutes later is crying due to hunger. I never seem to be able to satisfy her. Anyone any idea what I may be doing wrong? She has plenty of wet and dirty nappies each day and has put weight on backup to and beyond birth weight, but she just never seems content or settled

Raindancer, these early weeks can be hard, as you and your baby are just learning to tune into one another....if only they could talk or even text :) :)

Having said that.....a 10 minute feed, and then a doze, and then a clear need to feed again is normal normal normal. It is fine - and actually v. important - to respond to this 'second feed' by offering the breast. She may do this feed-doze-feed-doze-feed series a lot (it's called 'cluster feeding'). Your baby will become more settled as she gets to know you don't mind a bit if she has seconds, or thirds or fourths....just keep her close to you and resist the idea that every time she dozes she should be in her basked/crib.

How does that sounds?

My DS did this clocking up incredible hours at the boob. It did get better though, by 7 weeks he had settled to every couple of hours.

Hang in there you are doing so well

Thanks both. I've found it much tougher than I expected, and I hate seeing her upset. It's so reassuring to hear its normal behaviour tiktok! I will persevere! Thank you for taking the time to reply.

It sounds to me like you might need to do a bit more winding.... She could be sucking for comfort due to the pain of a trapped bit of wind rather than hunger... Are you finding it easy to get the burps up?

She does get a lot of wind but I do wind her regularly and she does burp. She has been asking to be on the breast constantly now for 10 hours, screaming if I refuse. She must be exhausted. Not sure how much longer I can do this for

I've posted it before & I'll post it again; normal! Sometimes little babies just feed ALL THE TIME. it will pass I promise

Oh you poor thing. bf is such a huge and hard commitment for mummies at first.

I agree that it sounds like she's full of wind and dozing off because of that - but OTOH could just be her way of feeding.
My DD used to feed little and often too - so much so that I honestly couldn't understand her weight gain because I didn't think she fed long enough to get the rich milk! (tmi)

The reassuring thing for you is that your LO has wet & dirty nappies and is gaining weight. You're obviously doing everything right - try to relax and enjoy her cuddles while she dozes between snacks! As the weeks fly by she'll feed longer and have longer breaks.

Stick with it - it can only get easier as the days go by.

(See the other thread current about wind and winding :) )

RainDancer, what happens if you don't refuse the breast?

Can you define 'constantly' on the breast for 10 hours? She has presumably had some dozing? Is she happy as long as she is close to you? Or is she miserable and fussy most of that time? If she is miserable and fussy, then there may be something else going on (eg oral anomaly eg tongue tie; reflux). But if she is mostly ok and content, just needing to be close and feeding a lot of the time, then she is behaving normally.

I don't know how people can be sure a baby has wind or is sleeping because of it....

She is fine when on the breast and will doze off but when I take her off she usually wakes up and starts crying until I put her back on. She is obviously not feeding all that time - often just sucking. She has a posterior tongue tie but everyone who has looked at it says it is not restricting her so is fine. She did sleep last night, waking every couple of hours, but now seems keen to always be on the breast again. I wish she would just feed properly then give me a break for a couple of hours!

I should also have said that we have both had thrush - she is being treated with daktarin - not sure if this may be contributing?

Are you trying to put her down when she dozes off? Babies this tiny hate being separated from you so she may be waking because she's suddenly aware she's been put down and she's crying because she needs comfort (and the best way of getting this is to feed...). Have you tried letting her sleep on you or in a sling?

But as tiktok said - this is perfectly normal. I remember shortly before I had DC1 someone said to me 'oh yes, some days you're just pinned to the sofa feeding' - it was the first, last and only time that ANYONE gave me a reasonable expectation of breastfeeding. Even MWs and HVs seem reluctant to admit that sometimes, you're just there for the duration.

So feed her as much as she wants, let her sleep on you or in a sling, and this too shall pass!

I'm letting her sleep on me as she just wakes if I put her down and the poor little thing must be just as exhausted as me! Thanks everyone for your advice.

A sling will definitely help you, raindancer - takes away some of that 'when can I get off this flippin sofa???' feeling :)