How to stay awake during night feeds part 6 - all welcome to join us!

[funchum8am]

Hi everyone, cannot believe we have exchanged over 5000 messages!

mrsn when we shared our locations on here a while back, heff, goat and I all turned out to live near Uxbridge so we met up having met on here. It is lovely, if you are ever down south let us know!

macaroons sounds like we are in the same boat I officially return to work on 15 Feb but that is actually the Friday before half term so only have that day and then another week off before full time return hits. I am lucky that DH is being a SAHD til 1st July so no drop offs, pick ups or worries about the childminder ringing me because babyfunch is ill etc, and she is in great hands with him, much as I have been critical of him til we talked it over recently. However I am worried about being at work on no sleep - I will get in a lot of trouble if I lose my rag with a pupil or indeed a member of my team (one of whom is a pain). I will have to perfect the art of letting some things go (eg uniform issues in the corridor as opposed to in my lessons - I spend a lot of time arguing with pupils about these and intend to stop save for the very worst!) and dealing with others by just reporting bad behaviour to heads of year rather than dealing with it myself. I am head of faculty so will focus just on what happens in lessons in my faculty rather than working quite so hard on having the best corridor behaviour in the school in my area - it is great having that but takes a lot of time, energy and conflict so it will just have to go n the back burner until I am getting proper sleep again. At this rate dd will be in year 7 by then herself and can help me!

Welcome lookathergo and congratulations on your new arrivals. Do your boys tend to wake together or is it a case of settling one then the other waking up? Hats off to you bf twins, that must be hard work but so rewarding.

chilli hope you get a satisfactory second opinion, its maddening when they don't take you seriously.

macaroons we just bobbed and splashed for about 20 minutes as if it was a big bath. Dd1 had lessons when she was coming up to 2 which were great for teaching her the basics but I think if you take them younger its just more singing/splashing/jumping and less actual swimming.

funch so glad it went well today. Is that it all over now or is there anything else you have to do?

Better last night but still two hourly wakings all night, I am chanting "this to shall pass this too shall pass this too shall pass" in my head in the hope that it actually will!

amey that is fantastic news about your brother, what a relief.
We had stir fry for supper in the end! It just annoys me that dh can't just go and get something without asking 50 million questions about what we should eat when he knows I've got more important things to think about.
Glad it went well at hospital funch sounds like they really messed up your induction.
Welcomelookathergo how wonderful to have twins but must be incredibly hard work.
Baby small was up at 6 due to his early bedtime so is having nap 1 now, going to be a long day.

Morning all. Will catch up properly later. Too tired to read or post last night on any of our 2 hourly waking/ feedings. Like having a newborn.....

Morning all, welcome look and amey that's such good news about your brother.

I am also chanting 'this too shall pass' heff - I am really pushing bottles and its just taken an hour and a half to get him to sleep with lots of very angry crying-my instincts are telling me that whilst bf is on offer he is never going to settle into a bottle properly so I'm going to try and hold out as long as I can today.

Looking forward to the big thaw that's on it's way, snow can bugger off now!! Have a good day everyone

Thanks dark side and smallgreen. To be honest they do tend to wake together and if one of them doesn't I'm waking them anyway, I'm trying to keep their feeding times together to minimise the amount of time I'm feeding because of trying to look after DD as well. I'm mostly tandem feeding, so that makes it a but easier, but it only works when they both latch on properly. Because we had a long stay in hospital we've got them in a kind of 3 hourly routine, sometimes it's slightly more, sometimes slightly less as I HAD to feed every 3 hours at hospital and it's working for us here too so far. I'm just muddling through right now!

Up at half 8 here when I heard a huge poonami erupting!!

Welcome look - congratulations on the twins! That is a lot of work with a 16 month old as well

Welcome look and congratulations! Does tandem feeding mean both simultaneously? may I ask how that works...both in your arms facing opposite directions? You are clearly amazing...and with a toddler as well!

For those who joined us fairly recently, If you are anywhere near NW London me, darkside/heff and goat meet up once in a while (Uxbridge/Harrow way) and I am sure they would be ok with me saying anyone else is more than welcome to join us

I have had two one hour naps since 3.15 and a bit of on/off feeding/dozing in bed 4:30-6:00. I am starting to think the cumulative effect is to render me unsafe to even leave the house!

Quick questions if anyone can help-I have stopped bf today, I spoke to a hv who advised pumping a minimal amount to avoid blockages etc and to signal to boobs to stop production-we are doing okay so far but it's not helping that I still smell of milk, anyone know if gp's will prescribe something to stop milk supply? Also re bottle feeding at night I'm hoping to use ready to feed bottles at room temperature rather than make up a new bottle in the night - is this what most people do?

Hope all are having good days.

susie I stopped when I had my most recent mastitis and gp told me to go cold turkey with no pumping- I do think that was because I already had mastitis so couldn't get any worse! I think pump less and less every couple of days would be better. It took 12 painful days fort boobs to stop being engorged. I asked about drugs to stop supply but my gp said no. Don't know if that's because they don't exist or if she just wouldn't prescribe them to me.
Bottles at night- we use cartons and I have to warm them slightly as baby small is a fusspot and won't have them at room temp. I keep them by the bed with the bottle warmer and just pop a bottle in when I first hear him wake.
Hope that answers your questions.
I left baby small with dmil this afternoon- disaster. He screamed the second I left the house and did not stop until I got back. She had to ring me to tell me to come home as it was so bad. So, any tips on how to make him ok with me leaving? Going to spend more time all together bit other than that is there anything that will help?

Thank you small, sounds like I need to invest in a bottle warmer.

I have the same problem with dmil unless I make sure I take babyloo to see them a lot, its really noticeable when I don't do this in how he responds to them, I need to up the ante because they will be having him two days a week when I go back to work. The other thing i do is stop them grabbing him as soon as I walk in the door, I try and keep him with me for as long as I can so he gets used to them-regularity is the key I think.

Dmil does always pinch him off me immediately once she gets in the door when perhaps he needs warming up to her! I'll have to start seeing her more often as you say, regularity. Poor little chap was distraught. I've never heard him cry like that even after jabs and the second I took him from her he stopped, I felt so guilty for leaving him. He's forgotten about it now though.
Bedtime here. Hoping for good nights for all.

Evening all, hope you are all ok.

susie good luck with the bottles!

Poor baby small

I have been feeling anxious since yesterday, I think it's the higher dose ADs taking effect - it gets worse before it gets better. I hate to admit it but it's anxiety that I don't love little man it makes me feel sick to my stomach. What sort of a mother thinks like that? He is my absolute world and I wish these thoughts would just go away. I wish my brain was just normal! I hope you guys don't think I'm crazy, I just think it might help to actually write it down. It's so hard to explain though

Mrsn It's not you thinking like that its a symptom of the depression so try to think of it as your depression talking and not you thinking that way and remind yourself that you are taking the medication to combat the depression and the thoughts it makes you have so you are doing everything right. It won't always feel like this and it will get better x

Susie - when I stopped I pumped enough off to stop feeling engorged - like 1oz ish, however many times i needed to, then it helped going in shower as it came out itself!! Although I continued combination feeding for about 2-3 weeks. It took 4 days until I stopped feeling engorged.

I go downstairs to make night bottles, before bed I put 4oz cooled boiled water in fridge, boil kettle fresh when I come down, add powder to boiling water in fresh bottle then add water from fridge = perfect warm temp . X

MrsN as susie said, that's the illness talking, not you. I can tell from what you write on here that you absolutely adore your little man and he is very lucky to have such a wonderful mummy

Yes funchum tandem means at the sane time. I have a swish pillow and put them both in the rugby ball hold and off we go. Only it's not that easy - I wish. One twin has tongue tie so I'm having latching on issues, but we're getting there. And it takes a bit of time to get them both latched and settled, a knack I'll suss out soon! However tandem feeding is not something I'll be doing in public as I'm basically sat with my boobs on full show. Not easy to cover up with 2 at it!

It's just taken dp over an hour to give babyloo a bottle and the crying reduced me to a gibbering wreck, I've said I will get up and do the next feed but I'm not convinced he will take a bottle from me at all, it feels really brutal to just stop but my instincts are telling me that whilst there is bf on offer he will always hold out for that and I really want to stop now so its now or never I suppose, dreading the rest of tonight.

Oh and he keeps falling asleep with a muslin over his face which worries me even though I know he can breathe through it.

Thanks susie and tea - just what I needed to hear. I hope it doesn't last long - it's really distressing thinking like that and I feel so sad when I look at him.

He's fast asleep now so I'm joining him. See you at some point in the early hours I'm sure xx

mrsn you are a wonderful mum who quite clearly loves her little man to the ends of the earth. As tea and susie said its the depression talking not you, and you've taken all the steps possible to make sure it will get better. for now though as I know it must be horrendously tough to get through xx

Yes funch totally agree it would be great if any if the newer posters turn out to be local, anyone near Uxbridge (ish) or within traveling distance come and join us for coffee :) How are you feeling after your naps, hoping for a better night for you!

I'm in bed feeding babylump back to sleep. Have decided its ridiculous to spend every night on the sofa and also means I can't go to bed until everyone else had so tonight she woke at 9 (random and annoying, 9 is my expressing time and she never normally wakes that early) and I though I may as well feed up here and try putting her down in her crib. Two transfer fails so far. Arrhg!

mrsn if it is any consolation I have those thoughts (wasn't overkeen to have kids til I met.DH, convinced myself after 2 miscarriages that my body was telling me not to, can't wait to go back to work etc). it is worst during the night, esp the moment I wake and hear her crying, and when DH brings her to me at 7am when he leaves for work. I think I cope by acknowledging the feeling and reminding myself that it is the sleep deprivation talking. As soon as she smiles at me all is well so I have become pretty good at getting a smile from her. My gp offered me ADs yesterday as I got a bit tearful when I explained that I now accept there is nothing medical behind her awful sleep, it just is what it is. So I must look like I am in as much of a mess as I feel, but it will pass for all of us who feel down. I don't think I am depressed, just sleep deprived, but I do worry that I don't love babyfunch and I think I get how you feel. One day this will be just a hazy memory though. Hugs!

susie hope you can get through this phase quickly - any useful tips on your new thread? It must be tough hearing him cry but you are doing this for his longer term benefit. Same as if he wanted to eat nothing but chocolate. More hugs!

heff thanks for your good wishes! I have started swaddling, late I know but has worked a treat for 2 naps and bedtime so far! I failed to nap today after 9am but in bed now and all quiet so far.

First feed here, not sure why so early - zzzzzzzz

Thanks heff and funch

You guys are the best!

2 transfer fails so feeding again.........

First feed here. Me and DH have decided to take the nights in turns so he's in with DD tonight on pull out bed. I don't know why but I feel nervous! Strange when I bf all those weeks alone at night! Hope I get some sleep, would be lovely to think this was a last bottle! I'm sure that will not be the case however!

Funch - I think you're right about sleep deprivation, its an absolute killer. I remember when DD was 5 weeks being terrified of it being nighttime because I knew I'd get no sleep! Its rough. But yep it all passes eventually!

Sleepy dust all x