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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Scornful attitudes to breast and bottlefeeders

103 replies

babyonboard · 10/04/2006 14:18

I know this must have been discussed 1000 times, but, having been to the baby clinic more recently latly I am shocked by what goes on there.
It's always very busy, and a few weeks ago a woman was brestfeeding her baby,another woman and her partner sitting nearby were staring, then she said 'do you have to shove that in our faces' what the hell!?
she was very dignified and explained her baby was hungry and pointed out how many were taking bottles in the same room , but this prompted others to join in and four people were of the consensus she should go to the toilet to do it!?
This is at a baby health clinic..god knows what it's like in other environments..
i personally formula feed my baby and have had the same thing...
feding him in the waitng room the woman next to me was tutting and shaking her head, and after i'd ignored her for a while she came right out and said 'can't you be bothered to brestfeed then'
I always se women bickering or making snide comments..far from what I expected....
i find this kind of discrimintion towards others shocking. so what if they don't use your method of feeding!?grrr

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 12/04/2006 10:28

what a floozy
I would like to quote the lovely hunkermunker at this point (and I may be paraphrasing)
"I will feed my child how I like. If it turns their stomach, they can f off."
I find it is helpful to repeat this to myself at difficult moments

oliveoil · 12/04/2006 10:35

I didn't get any comments at all when I fed, but I used to drape myself in muslin cloths like a ship in full sail.

I do remember my SIL feeding and my BIL going into the kitchen and saying 'She is FEEDING in there??!!!!!' like she was pole dancing however.

FGS.

amber5 · 12/04/2006 10:43

currently bf-ing second lo, only negative comment was from my brother ( whom i care little about anyway). he was visiting me, in my house, when i had just had first baby. i asked him if he minded me feeding ds and he said something along the lines of, yes he did, would i like him to drop his trousers and do toilet in public?
3 years on i would now never feel the need to 'ask permission' especially in my own house.
My point though is WHY DO PEOPLE COMPARE BFING TO TOILETTING??? two totally different functions surely

pooka · 12/04/2006 12:10

The less said about your brother the better Amber (was he the one who was narked about your dd's name).

Caligula · 12/04/2006 12:33

What an ignoramus your brother is amber5

KoolKat · 12/04/2006 14:53

amber - tell him if he is envious of you breastfeeding your child it is possible for a man to lactate - would he fancy lactating ? ?

Quite the opposite of my middle aged uncle (one of the most pro-bf men I have ever met, has 5 children all bf, who kept saying to me in a restaurant, "bf your son, he is hungry, don't worry about people staring, they are ignorant"). I love the man !

mawbroon · 12/04/2006 15:16

KoolKat - that reminds me of the time we were at a family party. I was bf ds and his greatgrandfather (aged 89) announced to the room "that is the best food in the world".

KoolKat · 12/04/2006 16:17

maw - 89 lol - he was probably bf himself and remembered the lovely taste

Purple77 · 12/04/2006 20:02

Sorry tiktok - have been out all day. She said are you still breastfeeding, I said no so she raised her eyebrow and said what not at all, well I guess that means you get more sleep...

Twiglett · 12/04/2006 20:08

bloody hell where in SE London are you .. cos over here in Dulwich there's nothing but breastfeeders

KoolKat · 12/04/2006 20:10

I love the way our health "profs." perpetrate myths about baby feeding:

bf = insomnia

ff = sleep

what tosh !

ei23 · 13/04/2006 11:21

i have had numerous negative comments about bfing!!!
my first was when my dd was about 2 weeks old and i was out in the town centre and she decided she was hungry. i went into a shop with a baby changing room and started feeding her. a woman came in with her child-to change him im guessing, and said to me 'this rooms for changing your babies you know, do you mind!'
cheeky cow wasnt very happy when i told her to sod off!!
another time my dp's nan told me that i couldnt feed dd in her house unless i went up to her bathroom. i just picked dd up put her in her pram and went home!!
i think its ludicrous that for millions of years women breastfed their children withoutmuch trouble and then the stupidity of modern society forces women to feel bad about giving their child the best start in life possible!!
btw the same nan also bought me a tin of formula as she thought it might 'give me a break' as i obviously 'wasnt coping very well!!' i took it back to the chemist and got the money back and bought the baby a nice dress!! dp's nan was not amused- meddling old bat!!

kiskidee · 13/04/2006 12:48

"i took it back to the chemist and got the money back and bought the baby a nice dress!!"

pmsl

kiskidee · 13/04/2006 12:48

"i took it back to the chemist and got the money back and bought the baby a nice dress!!"

pmsl

drosophila · 13/04/2006 13:20

babyonboard, I went to a very similar baby clinic in London (wonder if it is the same one). Nothing was said just a lot of tutting and pointing.Being attacked probably makes women attack IYKWIM. If you have been critised for BFIng you may feel the need later on to critise Bottlefeeding.

amber5 · 13/04/2006 22:38

pooka - lol at my brother becoming infamous on mn for being a w*er!! you've made my day

browniegirl · 14/04/2006 04:00

Good for you ei23, I would have done the same cheeky cow! Ask her if she would eat her sunday roast sitting on the bog! I get funny looks off my mother in law she only jealous because was too lazy to do it with her own.

browniegirl · 14/04/2006 04:03

It was an ongoing joke that my BIL only visited to catch a look at my boobs. nobody in my family ever made a negative remark which I am thankful becuse they know thaey would have got their answer p...off!

funnybones · 01/05/2006 21:25

why cant people just mind their own business? i b/fd ds anywhere, its such a shame poeple feel they have a right to comment on peoples feeding choices breast or bottle
no one has confronted me yet just smiles from some women

izzybiz · 03/05/2006 17:46

I havent read the whole thread (too lazy!) so sorry if i repeat anything.
I have 2 children, and i have bottlefed them both for my own selfish reasons, BUT, i have absolutely NO problem with breastfeeding mothers.
I wish more mums could have the courage to feed their babies (and sometimes children!) in public.
I was in town a few weeks ago with my DD who is in nappies, and she had pooed, i couldnt get in to the baby changing room because there was a mum hiding away in there feeding her baby.
I sometimes wish i was a breastfeeder, just so i could feed in public, id love someone to try and tell me not to!!

edam · 03/05/2006 17:52

The OP is appalling. And more so that the clinic won't put a sign up - WTF? I'd write to the practice manager, if you can summon the energy.

FWIW I never had any negative comments about breastfeeding in public. Except one GP at the surgery (baby clinic) actually showed me to the 'feeding room', when ds was making it clear he was hungry. It was a cupboard!

hellywobs · 05/05/2006 13:15

"WHY DO PEOPLE COMPARE BFING TO TOILETTING??? two totally different functions surely"

Because people are stupid and misinformed. Simple!

It's outrageous that anyone wants to make comments about how someone feeds their baby - whether ff or bf. If I walked into McDonalds or Burgerking and said to the parents in there how dare you feed your kids this rubbish they'd rightly tell me to get lost. Why is it so different for babies? Drives me bonkers.

Hollyboo · 05/05/2006 14:10

I think it's terrible for anyone to past comment on a mother feeding her baby in public. It's very natural and even new mothers tend to do it very discretely anyway. Very different to going to the toilet in public!!! I bf for four months and the only comments I remember where from my MIL and my cousin. One was 'it's very hard to know if she's getting enough when you're bfing' and 'you do need your independence' Eh Hello??? Needless to say I didn't even answer them.

UniSarah · 08/05/2006 09:42

NOT a scornfull one to report- I had a very good experience the other day when my DS decided he was hungrey in the Lingire dept of a large dept store. The shop asistant spotted him trying to latch on THROUGH my T-shirt and asked if I'd like to have a seat and feed him in one of the fitting rooms rather than trundle upstairs to the "parent and baby" room. I thought was thoughtfull of her.
Of course I then went on to buy stuff so maybe she had an ulterior motive?
I'm still waiting for a negative comment, DS is 8 wks old and so far no ones given me hassle.

duvet · 08/05/2006 10:42

Yeah you do have to be careful what you think even, i saw this woman I know a little and saw her with a baby and bottle and I was surprised, but then I found out she was fostering the baby!

On that point How do you know that a baby drinking from bottle isnt drinking ebm, like i read on here about a mother whose baby couldn't latch on so she'd been expressing her milk for 26 weeks! Wow that's to be applauded. it's easy to judge though.

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