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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Scornful attitudes to breast and bottlefeeders

103 replies

babyonboard · 10/04/2006 14:18

I know this must have been discussed 1000 times, but, having been to the baby clinic more recently latly I am shocked by what goes on there.
It's always very busy, and a few weeks ago a woman was brestfeeding her baby,another woman and her partner sitting nearby were staring, then she said 'do you have to shove that in our faces' what the hell!?
she was very dignified and explained her baby was hungry and pointed out how many were taking bottles in the same room , but this prompted others to join in and four people were of the consensus she should go to the toilet to do it!?
This is at a baby health clinic..god knows what it's like in other environments..
i personally formula feed my baby and have had the same thing...
feding him in the waitng room the woman next to me was tutting and shaking her head, and after i'd ignored her for a while she came right out and said 'can't you be bothered to brestfeed then'
I always se women bickering or making snide comments..far from what I expected....
i find this kind of discrimintion towards others shocking. so what if they don't use your method of feeding!?grrr

OP posts:
Racers · 10/04/2006 16:36

good point Caligula.

I'm so shocked about these comments, particularly in the context. Feel very sorry for those of you on the receiving end. I'd have fallen apart in the early days with all the emotion and hormones raging, if anything similar had been said to me. Luckily I only had positive comments (though some uncomfortable looks, but nodoby said anything - bf'ing I mean)

chipmonkey · 10/04/2006 17:38

babyonboard, did you have answer for that woman? Don't know how someone could be so rude and judgemental to someone the've never met!

mesenfantsmaman · 10/04/2006 17:43

I have breastfed and bottlefed and never really experienced any negativity either way. However the other day i was chatting to a friend who it turns out is very anti breastfeeding, her arguemnt, with all modern science these days and all that is put into making bottle milk there is simply no need for women to breastfeed. She really believes it is unecessary Shock

chipmonkey · 10/04/2006 17:47

so all those millions of years of evolution are nothing to nestle's 50 yrs in the business? mesenfantsmaman?Grin

koolkat · 10/04/2006 17:47

It's very cultural unfortunately.

I have found very different attitudes to different forms of baby feeding in the countries I have travelled to. In countries where bf was the norm (including some very strictly Muslim countries I have travelled to) a woman could be covered head to toe, but no one would bat an eyelid if she took out a boob in public to feed her baby !

I have been stared at, sometimes quite rudely, for bf here in London. Other times no one cared ! Depends on where you are sitting when you are doing it.

Someone told me that In Norway and Sweden where bf is the norm, people stare if you bottle feed !

mesenfantsmaman · 10/04/2006 17:51

Shocking isn't it, was that dumfounded I didn't bother arguing, views that extreme and bizarre I guess have a deeper root.

chipmonkey · 10/04/2006 17:56

I would quite like it if everyone bf! But if I see a woman bottlefeeding, I don't make any assumptions. For all I know she couldn't bf for medical reasons, or was unsupported in hospital, or gets freaked out at the idea of public bf. ( for which, reading this thread you couln't really blame her!) For someone in any of those situations any comment would be very upsetting. Some people need to learn to "engage brain before opening mouth".

PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 10/04/2006 18:13

Never had a comment I can recollect except positive for BF myself. Bottle fed too, for medical reasons and got so many negative comments I didn't like leaving the house for long. DS1 was unable to feed from me. Some poeple think it's OK to just make comments without knowing the facts and that p's me off considerable. BF ds2 for 4 months, ds3 for 15, it was brilliant but it isn't for everyone and that's OK. No-one's perfect.

JoolsToo · 10/04/2006 18:19

is it acceptable to make comments even if you know the facts though!

I don't go round challenging parents smoking around their children - it's their business not mine.

mesenfantsmaman · 10/04/2006 18:21

I think unless someone asks me for my opinion on something I don't give it, I am quite well mannered, well in real life anyway Grin

PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 10/04/2006 18:30

I don't think comments are acceptable no, but it did hurt even more because they didn't bother to ask- I'd have to have fed DS1 but his survival (and it was that bad)

moondog · 10/04/2006 18:33

One can think what one likes.
Saying it aloud is however,a completely different matter.

Caligula · 10/04/2006 18:34

I sometimes wonder if people who come out with these kneejerk comments just have some kind of dysfunction, which means they just can't help it.

harpsichordcarrier · 10/04/2006 18:39

I have bf everywhere and I mean everywhere and have perfected the art of doing it without making eye contact with anyone and (clearly) wearing the kind of expression that actively repels comment
maybe I should run a masterclass Grin

moondog · 10/04/2006 18:40

Sort of Tourette's you mean Cal.
I used to will someone to kick up a fuss.
They never did.
Wonder why.......

pooka · 10/04/2006 18:43

Exactly what I was thinking Moondog! I've also never had a word said about me feeding ds and dd wherever and whenever. Again - I've always kind of wanted a barney! Grin

harpsichordcarrier · 10/04/2006 18:43

me too moondog
I thought I had someone the other day
they approached looking slightly cross and i was "oh here we go!"
except she only wanted to ask if I wanted some mayonnaise

moondog · 10/04/2006 18:45

It's so annoyning isn't it?
Why can't they just oblige me by screaming
'Put it away you hooerr!!'??

motherinferior · 10/04/2006 18:47

I b/fed in our local Boots and got quite annoyed by the fact everyone was looking pointedly over my head (I was sitting down. Mind you most people look over my head usually, what with me being a notorious short@arse). I don't actually mind them looking at my norks if they feel an urge - my norks were certainly in better shape than the rest of me.

hunkermunker · 10/04/2006 18:55

On your knockers, Harpsi?

Pruni · 10/04/2006 18:57

mesenfantsmaman, I've got a nutty friend who says the same thing, except she reluctantly accepts that some women may for atavistic reasons wish to b/f, but that if they do it beyond 6m then they are signalling to the world that they are deriving pleasure from it, which is unacceptable.
She's a bit of a loon. No kids, obviously.
I did try to set her right but she was having none of it.

moondog · 10/04/2006 18:59

As nutty as my friend who thinks bottlefeeding is less hassle than b/feeding because 'you can just get the bottles out straight away,no faffing with your clothes.'

I do like her though.

Pruni · 10/04/2006 19:01

Ah but you see, I can understand her, MD, because in the psycho days of trying to b/f I felt the same. It was freezing cold and I was all wobbly and hated anyone seeing my body. I realise this is weird to you and I don't feel that way now - but then I don't have to do it now. Maybe she's remembering some dark days?

harpsichordcarrier · 10/04/2006 19:02

Pruni can I meet her?
lol at condiments on the norks. Why not, though? Nork-seasoning - a great untapped market.

moondog · 10/04/2006 19:02

Oh I agree Pruni.
Very complicated in the early days.
Remember staring,mouth agog at one woman in a mother& baby group when dd was about 8 days old,because she was b/feeding and talking.
At the same time.

(Barking friend never even tried though.)

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