cosleeping and nightfeeds 1year+

[fallingsun]

Hi,

Any advice much appreciated! I have an11mo dd who is bf. When she was c8mo I started cosleeping as she went from 2 wakings per night to about 4 and I was too tired to keep getting her from the cot (in my room too).

Now she starts the night in her cot and when she first wakes after I go to bed at 10 I bring her into my bed. She cuddles and feeds about 3 times per night, mostly as morning is approaching. My question is whether allowing her to 'snack' like this during the night is teaching her bad habits and whether dh and I will have difficulty weaning her off it when she's a toddler? I.e. should we put her in a cot in her own room now and stop co sleeping and dh rock her back to sleep when she wakes?

The only other factor is I'm due to return to work in 3 months when shes 14months and she'll be going to childminder. I've heard that carrying on bf and cosleeping until they are settled in childcare can be very comforting to the baby/toddler? So perhaps it's worth keeping going for another few months? I'm just worried we may end up with terrible toddler tantrums and difficulty getting her to sleep in her own bed the older she gets?

Thanks very much in advance, as you can tell I'm a first time mum with not much experience :)

No, you are not teaching her bad habits- you are teaching her that you are there for her, and that's a lovely thing for her to learn :) It may or may not be difficult to wean her; all children are different. But there's no evidence to show that what you are doing now will make it more difficult in the future.

A lot of BF children do something called 'reverse cycling' when they start childcare- night feeds may increase as they make up for lost time and a lot of mother find co-sleeping helps with this and helps them to make up bonding time too.

Thanks for your reply! I think I will keep up with the cosleeping and bf. My only concern is how dd will cope with napping in a cot at the cm and with me and bf available, at the moment she naps in my bed with me next to her. I try not to bf her to sleep, but she cries and grabs my top continually...do you think in a different environment without me and bf there she will just accept it and sleep, or perhaps I should try again getting her to nap in the cot?

Is there a possibility of doing a few trial runs first? has your DD ever spent naptime with a family member or friend? Anecdotally, my DD2 (21mo) has napped fine at my DM's house the last couple of weekends when I left her for the afternoon and she usually falls asleep on the boob when she's at home.

That's very interesting about napping at your dm...

Dd doesn't get looked after by anyone but dh and I as no one is local. However,dh can get her to nap without bf, just not me as she can smell milk I think!having said that, today I rocked and rocked her for 15m to see if she would nap without bf and it worked!

Dd will be doing lots of settling in sessions with cm,so I guess we'll see then...

Thanks again Eau!!

Hi fallingsun
My DS would nap absolutely fine at nursery without bf at that age. He would still ask me for it on the days I was with him though. The clever little things soon work it out.
He would also self settle with them and not with me. I call it the 'mummy effect'
You'll probably be surprised at how quickly your LO adapts.

I have literally just stopped bfing my 2yo quite effortlessly,but I'm fairly certain it was easy because I gently withdrew my boobs from him for the last year.
I'd recommend this gentle approach to anyone.

And as eaurouge has already said I found that co-sleeping was a godsend when I went back to work as reverse cycling kicked in and this was an easier way to get more sleep.

We still manage to co-sleep without bfing too,just so you know its possible!

Well my dd is nearly 8 months and a big boob monster. Haven't really started solids, never had a bottle, co sleep, fed to sleep all the time, only naps on boob etc etc- you get the picture. Well i left her for the first time with someone else the other week as i'm due back at work soon (only left her for 2 hours as i 'knew' she wouldn't nap without me and boob) and when i picked her up she was flat out asleep on my relatives lap!!!!!! Cheek monkey never does that with me!!!! So think you might be surprised!!