DS using me as a dummy

[Izzybuzzybuzzybees]

Hiya, my DS is 15 days old today We are having trouble breastfeeding but slowly getting the hang of it.

My problem (well one of many) is that he appears to be just staying on the breast and not feeding. Basically staying latched but not sucking. Any tips?

Izzy, good you are getting the hang of things :)

If your baby is sucking sufficiently well to gain weight and thrive, then he's 'allowed':) to stay on the breast for comfort, closeness and connection. This is 100 per cent normal, very typical of the newborn period, great for building love, trust and confidence, and entirely understandable in a little person who is just getting used to life on the outside.

If he is always just there, not sucking, and is unable to remove milk well, then yes that needs to be fixed.

But if it is just what he does in addition to feeding well, then you can be assured that it's perfectly fine to do this, and does not mean he will always do it, and does not mean you need to stop him.

Thanks for the reply tiktok

He seems to be thriving. He even put on 6oz in 2 days in the hospital! They put an exclamation in my notes :)

I am just concerned about the using me as a dummy as I feel he is on the breast for so long. We have been feeding now for almost an hour and I'm falling asleep!!

Izzy, would it help to rephrase it....he is not 'using you as a dummy' but 'using you as a mummy' :) :)

What is worrying you about him having comfort from you as well as nutrition? What is worrying you about him being on you for an hour? ....well within normal for newborns, BTW, who tend to feed, doze, perk up, feed some more, doze, etc etc, all the time at the breast if not actually on-and-doing-something all that time, and to object if taken off and made to be separate.

Is it that you think this will go on for a long time (it won't) or there is something not right about it? Obviously you need to have time without a baby in your arms, and that can be a challenge....do you have someone else around who can do the non-babyfeeding related 'stuff' at this time?

I don't mind him doing it as such its just I am on medication that makes me sleepy and although its 'safe' to feed I don't want to be holding him too long in case I drop off to sleep myself. Also I'm quite sore nipple wise and have a bad back and shoulders so holding for long periods of time is difficult.

Try Biological nurturing positions so he is laying on you, rather than you holding up to the breast. This intense period won't last, try to ride it out, see it as an excuse to sit/lie with your baby and snuggle. As Tiktok says, he's not using you as a dummy, he's doing what babies naturally do, dummies were invented for babies who (for what ever reason) couldn't get comfort and security this way. The dummy is the mummy-substitute. You're doing great.