Please help, am in tears...

[Bibblebobbleparsnip]

My 18 wk DD was taken into hosp this week due to losing weight. She had been EBF however they recommended topping up with formula. I should never have agreed as I seem to have a real problem getting her to feed at all now. She just cries at the breast. The most she seems to do is about 1 before crying and to get 5 mins feeding is taking 15 mins. She doesn't seem windy. They diagnosed an UTI so she's having antibiotics and she's a little snuffly. She's continuously gnawing her fists. I just don't know what to do. I have olenty if milk ( just squirted her in the eye when hand expressing a little) though can't get much when I pump. I'm desperate to feed her just can't get her to co-operate. It's really dressing me out. That plus 2 other kids to try and find a quiet room is driving me insane. What can I do? She'll starve at this rate!

Hi Bibble, don't panic! She may be teething, which is why she's gnawing her fist. Are you still topping her up with formula? Are your breasts very full of milk? This makes them hard, so babies are reluctant to feed. It may help if you express some milk first as this will make them softer.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge then me will come along in a minute.

Thank you! My breasts are not hard- she latches on fine but then sobs like she's disappointed!! It's like she was expecting chocolate but she's got sprouts... I stopped top ups yesterday as I felt they were damaging my supply (or would be soon) but ended up giving her a top up just before bed last night at 8pm... This feed she fed fir 4 mins cried, faffed, took herself on and off the breast. Then sucked down the tiny bit of expressed I had and then went to boob happily but only for a minute before throwing up

Am worried she's only getting fore milk and no hind as she's off in 4 mins. If only they'd let us just increase the time before topping up

Is she vomiting a lot? Any history of milk intolerance in your family?

It could just be really bad timing with some kind of developmental leap which makes her fussy anyway? DS used to be a nightmare to feed when he was going through a development phase thing...

Hardly vomits at all. Think it was the snot that made her do it this time. No intolerances either- my son has an egg allergy, but that's it! Thanks for help. We're due at hospital in Tues & I feel like I have to prove to them I'm not starving her. She's not helping my case!

Has she ever fed well since she was born? How long is she going between feeds?

She's bee on a 3 hrly- slept through the night at 9 weeks (down at 7:30, dream feed at 11 then through till 6am). We were in hospital again when she was 3-4 wks old- same problems. BUT since then she'd been going great guns. She'd gained weight ad was back on her birth centile (she was 9lb8). Trouble started when she had a cold and so I let her take it easy at feeds. I just think she hadn't been feeding long enough and I'd stupidly let her. Generally because DS (2) was kicking off. I've been starving my baby and hadn't noticed

No, you have not been starving her at all. If she's full of snot then she won't want to feed. Her nose is probably blocked up. When she feeds, she has to breathe through her nose and if it's blocked then she won't be able to breathe and feed. It may help to try to clear it before she has a feed. The pharmacist will sell something, it'll look like a pipette. You just suck the snot out, which will have the same effect as blowing your nose. Give this a try.

Hey Bibble, please don't be so hard on yourself. At around this age my DS started being very fussy and crying during feeds, most notably when he was tired and S the day wore on. He would feed and then. O e off screaming. Some people suggested reflux, but he was fine in the night or with a bottle. I wondered if the let down was too fast and basically he was getting too much. I spoke to the HV and she didn't know but other people have said the same with bf babies. I wonder if it's change in the milk or something? You could try feeding her before she gets really hungry so she's not so desperate for it or express a little first so the let down in slower? Interestingly my DS just outgrew it

Thank you Lady I'll pop down to Boots after I've fed the others some lunch. It was streaming down her nose earlier... Just feeling all a bit crap really. I though I could do this!

You can do this! It's just a blip. Snot also tends to run into small tummies, making less space for milk, so it's likely to be the cause. I hope she's feeling better soon.

Has she been checked for a tongue tie, Bibble? Poor weight gain, feeding briefly then seeming dissatisfied and fussing at the boob are three fairly classic signs. Full list of symptoms here.

Thank you so much for all your help. The list of tongue tie symptoms was really interesting. There are even things on there that she has that I hadn't mentioned on here (like windiness! ) so will mention it at the hospital when I go on Tues. I switched to a 4 hrly yesterday figuring that maybe she was just snacking and it seems to have helped!! She fed for nearly 10 mins per boob last night and again this morning which will mean that she's getting more hind milk than before. She still sleeping really well. This is a major break through! I'm feeling much more positive today and that is no small part thanks to you giving me a boost thank you

That's great news. She'll get there.

TBH Bibble, my thoughts would be to not worry about the foremilk/hindmilk issue, but to get her to take more milk in to ensure that her weight loss stops. Going to 4 hourly feeds may reduce your milk supply and will probably reduce the amount of milk she takes in. "Snacky" feeds are just fine, and if you can possibly find the time to feed her more frequently, off any kind of schedule, this may be what she needs to take in enough calories overnight. Would it be possible to hold her in a sling and feed her whenever you can get her to while in it?

Def worth trying the snot remover gadget, good tip, and also saline sprays can help too (ask your pharmacist).

It might also be worth looking at waking her for an additional night feed, as this seems to be related to her weight loss unless I've misunderstood?

Unless her poo is regularly green and possibly frothy, but more usually mustardy, chances are her foremilk/hindmilk mix are just fine.

I recommend boob milk up the nose to clear blockages- it really works! DS2 had similar problems, and he had a 100% TT. Please find someone who is trained to check for it. Most paeds, HV's doctors etc... Are not trained in it. Google feeding specialists/lactation consultants in your area and speak to them. Most NHS trusts have them and they can check everything and make sure nothing is awry.

Feeding on demand is crucial to gain weight. I switch fed to get through the fussiness and to make sure he was getting enough.

Read baby's cues, boob as much as possible, and the weight will come.

Night feeding is also majorly important to supply and keeping weight on, at least express during the night to help keep your milk levels right.

"if you can possibly find the time to feed her more frequently, off any kind of schedule, this may be what she needs to take in enough calories overnight."

Not sure where the word "overnight" fell in from there. Ignore it! I meant feeding her more during the day, not just at night, if you can.