Which breastfeed did you keep for longest?

[SarryB]

My LO started solids at about 18 weeks. Now he is 6.5 months, he's taking three meals a day, porridge and fruit for breakfast, something like cauliflower cheese and finger food veg for lunch, and the same again for tea.

It was a struggle to BF, and I don't really want to give up now it's going well, but despite my best efforts, he seems to prefer his bottle. We have a good feed in the morning lying in bed, and then I try to BF on demand the rest of the day, but he goes mad sometimes, arching his back etc. Then I offer a bottle and he'll take it all in about 10 minutes.

So it looks like he'll be getting bottles for the rest of the day pretty soon.

Just wondering which feed you kept for the longest, how long, and why? A lot of women I chat to seem to keep the evening one for the longest as a bedtime snuggle, but he gets really mad at this time in the evening!

Do you actually want to stop breastfeeding? The reason he wants the bottle over the breast is that the flow from the bottle is immediate whereas with the breast he will have to wait for the let down and even then it won't be as fast as the bottle. If you would rather BF then just stop giving him bottles. He will soon adjust when he has no choice.

Sorry, I don't have any advice on removing feeds.

I don't really want to stop, I'd like to continue with at least a couple of feeds for another couple of months. Once we got BF established (that took 4 months!) he still had one bottle a day, normally in the evening because no matter how much I tried to increase supply, by about 6pm, I have no milk left!

I could just stop giving him bottles. But then he would just cry and cry and cry. Take today. Woke him from his nap at 1.30pm, straight onto the boob, he latched then pulled away and starting yelling and straining. I fought for 15 minutes to latch him again, then gave him a bottle. There is no way I am going to put myself through the 30 minute battles we used to have when he was smaller and we were trying to BF.

I'm not an expert, but here's some thoughts and maybe someone more experienced coughTiktokcough can come along and give you better direction.

You say that breastfeeding is a battle, and you try to latch and latch and he refuses and you end up giving him a bottle.

You also say he takes a good morning feed laying down in bed.

I think thats what you've got to try and do. Make your feeds during the day as relaxed and unpressured as that morning feed. If he comes off and doesn't want to relatch, don't force it, just offer again later.

You know he's taking plenty of solids, and that he is taking that good morning feed. Milk is still an important part of his diet, but its also not as urgent as it was when it was his sole source of nutrition. If it was me I'd be tempted not to offer a bottle if he doesn't take a breastfeed, but also not persevere and make it a battle, just offer again a while later, but I'd probably want some Tiktok-like reassurance about it too! It might be that some occasions you do offer the bottle if it has come to replace some feeds but I don't know.

In order to get those later feeds to be relaxed, you might want to replicate the surroundings of that good feed, lay down in bed with him after his nap say. I'm sure there are other bits of advice related to nursing strikes that might come in handy here, offering skin to skin contact, feeding after/during? a bath etc. Try and take the fight out of it. Is it possible that there are too many distractions in the day, or that he only wants short feeds?

I'm not an expert (just feeding my first one at 3 months) but the battling does seem to be at least part of the problem.

Battling with the boob has always been an issue for us. From birth he fought it, he would punch me (believe me, a 1 week old can punch!), pinch me, arch his back, throw himself nearly out of my arms etc.

We've actually been fine the last couple of months, it's just really since he hit the 6 month mark that he's started refusing feeds again, and again, I tried after every nap today, brought him straight into bed with me, top off, and he'd latch then throw his head back and start yelling. I'd even primed my boobs so I'd already had a let down.

Ack, I don't know. Just wondering whether people just keep one feed for a long time, and is it worth it?

Sarry it sounds like you've done absolutely amazingly to get to where you are.

You'll probably find that it just evolves naturally... so for you, it might be your morning feed which you keep for the longest if it's the most relaxed.

Does he have a fast flow teat on the bottle? Maybe switch back to a slower one.

Also why not keep the morning one? That can be your special feed.

My DS is 2 and we're just cutting down to 1 feed a day. It's the early morning one as its his favourite and mine too (extra 10 mins in cosy warm bed!)
Go with that if you're happy with it

He's still using a slow-flow teat, he just dribbles if I use anything bigger!

I think we will be keeping the early morning one for the forseeable future.