DS has never had a normal feed

[Winniebunnysophieetal]

DS is 8months and had been a terrible feeder since the early weeks.

All his feeds, BF (originally) and FF have been accompanied by screaming, pulling off every 30 seconds, flailing and grunting. And I mean loud, gut wrenching screams and flailing so hard he has actually hurt me and DH!

It's been so emotionally draining. Reflux was suspected but seems to be more of a wind problem as he relaxes and almost sighs with relief once a burp has passed! Multiple GP and paediatrician appointments but agreed just terrible colic/gripe and otherwise doing well, weight stabilising etc

Feeding always involves cajoling, rocking, soothing. I don't give him milk feeds in public as it's too hard. It's fine, we're used to it now. Just feel a bit sad when I see all these chilled little babies happily gobbling up their milk with ease. I have almost never had this!

On the plus side, he's been a dream to wean so far, loves his food. Just wanted to find out if my experience is unique?

Have you had him checked for tongue/lip tie?

oh please please get him checked for tongue tie. Most HCPs seem to miss it. You may have to go privately. We used Ann Dobson in London. dd had hers snipped at 7 months against gps advice and made all the difference. Very similar to your story.

DD2 was ok to start but got harder and harder to feed.

By 8mo she had given up bfing. I never introduced a bottle, she went straight to a beaker with cow's milk, don't tell the HV!, she was so much happier after that and started gaining weight properly again. Now 20mo and happy and healthy.

He was checked over by community midwives, HV and paediatrican. I've just done this nursingrubysue.wordpress.com/how-to-check-for-a-tongue-tie/
too, and seems fine

But you know what, I think I'm going to get someone else to take a look. How do you go about finding a tongue tie expert close by? Could I take him to one of the breastfeeding cafes, even though he's no longer b/fed?

I'd be so upset if this turned out to be the root of the problem, given he's spent 8mos like this. whenwill what made you decide to get things treated at 7 months, was it not spotted originally?

Missed by paed in hospital when she wouldn't suck and was assessed for tt; gp said couldn't tell; 2 midwives, HV and one bf person also missed it. It was very posterior but v.tight.

I think 'milk matters' might be able to help you in your area- someone else posted about it.

It may not be worth treating if you are no longer bf but it can have lots of other reprucussions but then again might not.

I wanted to continue bf (and eliminate other potential probs.- though she also has lip tie which we are not fixing right now). BF had been so difficult up til then and taken over our whole lives and was v. restrictive day to day- only feeding in certain postions, frequently, v. distracted by the difficulty of it, as well as, on and off from the start, never sucked for comfort, low milk supply, distressed, reflux, needed 3 burps over 20 mins, hiccups, better at night.

We had it done without GA (controversially but completely without any bad consequences).

also didn't like milk and loved solids

Thanks that's so helpful, I've contacted Milk Matters. Feel sick with worry now that I've possibly allowed DS to remain in so much discomfort for so long. I don't feel any of the HCPs really examined her tongue in much detail, just a quick look and 'fine, no problems there' but I think it's a possibility. One thing that suggests it might be is that she could not manage to successfully breastfeed but coped slightly better on the bottle

It can affect bottles and solids too or instead of bf, so really varies.

I felt unbelievably guilty but more than that I felt utterly let down by NHS (and not the first (or second) time- no wonder it's 'free'). The whole thing was exhausting for us and there was only so much asking I knew to do (and I'm a nanny with maternity training). It might not be tt but I would say something sounds wrong and hcps should look into it more for you. We are not experts.

There is a thread called something like: 'sign here if you were told your baby didn't have tongue tie only later to find out they did'. I just don't know how to link to without putting in the whole web address (I must learn how to do this).

Colic isn't even a thing; it just means crying inconsolably 3 hours a day for no apparent reason.