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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding in public experience

82 replies

fallingandlaughing · 04/06/2012 11:49

DD is nearly one year old.

So I have a year of breastfeeding in public (and private!) under my belt.

In all that time I have received a negative response... never! People rarely notice. If they do, they don't tend to comment, apart from older people who may say "Lovely" or "Well done". Once I was breastfeeding her on the bus and a very elderly man offered to hold her while I was eating. I explained she was eating too and he was amazed, and very impressed that we could multitask like that!

I just wanted anyone starting out BF to know about this. With all the controvery whipped up in the media lately you wwould think that there is a lot of negativeity amongst the general public. But that's not my experience.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 04/06/2012 11:52

The only person who was embarrassed about my breastfeeding was my very uptight BIL whom I ignored . Otherwise I've had (from a friend's lovely brother who was in his 50s, I think) 'do carry on, don't mind me' when DD1 was tiny and 'You're still breastfeeding? How lovely' when DD2 was 14 months

EauRouge · 04/06/2012 12:00

That's ace, OP, and I think it is quite rare to get negative comments. I've never had one in 3.8 years- unless you count my grannie telling me DD1 is too old now, but I don't count that because she's always giving me helpful tips on parenting

nannyl · 04/06/2012 13:12

agree with OP

DD is 9m and has been breastfed any where and everywhere.

I have never had any negative comments / looks etc from anyone, none what so ever

so I agree if you are new to BFing or worrying about feeding in public, dont, as in my experience, most people dont even notice, and certainly dont seem to care if they do.

DonkeyTeapot · 04/06/2012 13:20

I never had one single negative comment either. The only embarassing time was when I was at mum's, and my brother was there. He asked if he could have a cuddle with DD and I said "she'd just a bit busy at the moment" and when he realised what was happening he went bright red, he thought she was just snuggled up :) Not remotely embarassing for me, just him!

G1nger · 04/06/2012 13:39

I haven't had any negativity either.

Andromaca · 04/06/2012 17:19

Never had any negative comment, the only one interested in me bf in public is my DH, but he is Italian and slighty jealous easily embarassed

melliebobs · 04/06/2012 17:23

I was at the Trafford centre the other week with dd who was 10wk at the time. I was in the food court and one of the table cleaners told me 'there's a breast feeding room by the toilets' I didn't know if she was telling me to move on or just being helpful! For all I know this room could have been a haven with comfy chairs (I walked past it later and didn't exactly look inviting!) I stayed where i was dd was well into her munch and not as if I was looking nervous like I didn't want to be feeding her in such a public area

Emandlu · 04/06/2012 17:23

It's nice to hear things are changing!
When my dd was little 12 years ago I was asked to feed in the toilets of a cafe once (I didn't). I also had a man huffing and tutting at me on a train whilst I fed her.

I didn't get anything like that with DS (9 yrs ago) though - maybe I was just better at it with him

I tend to comment that it is lovely to see if I notice someone breastfeeding in public, but I don't see that many people around here doing it.

GodisaDj · 04/06/2012 17:36

Me neither and dd is nearly 10 months.

I've fed everywhere! We fed at the motorway services on Saturday in the middle of a busy self service restaurant. Had some lovely smiles which I seem to get a lot, especially from the older generation.

Had quite a few discussions with people when they've not realised that I'm nursing too, it's always funny, they're more embarrassed than you!

Bibulus · 04/06/2012 17:40

Not one negative comment in 2.5yrs, apart from my dm and stepfather who were embarrassed to be seen with me!

MrsCog · 04/06/2012 17:44

DS is only 13 weeks but I haven't had a single negative comment yet either - only positives and help from people in cafe's bringing my tray over for me and things. I also don't know anyone who hasn't given bfding a go yet (out of friends who are having dc's) so I think things might be changing quite a lot. Still shocking lack of support and knowledge though!

PotteringAlong · 04/06/2012 17:45

Never q single one either abd DS is 6 months. In fact, a lady told me today how lovely it was to see a baby being breastfed!

PotteringAlong · 04/06/2012 17:45

Never q single one either abd DS is 6 months. In fact, a lady told me today how lovely it was to see a baby being breastfed!

QueenKong · 04/06/2012 17:57

Never had a bad comment either. Apart from a few PA ones from my mum about some women doing it in public for attention and how some women are very smug. Ironically, she was with me when I was once approached by a random woman and told what a brilliant thing I was doing by bfing DS. My mum puffed her chest out and said "yes, it is. I think she's doing so well because I have always been so encouraging and supportive."

ClaireDeTamble · 04/06/2012 18:06

DD is 8 months and no negative comments here either but lots of positive ones - usually from older women.

I'm a bit disappointed as I was looking forward to my first BF-related rant at educating some ignorant stranger or shop/cafe worker - my mom thought it was hilarious when we went for coffee in an M&S restaurant and I gleefully told her that M&S had a bit of a rep for anti-BF comments occurring.

I think my BF'ing hormones must make me a bit combative.

sparklekitty · 04/06/2012 18:51

This is so lovely to hear. I will be breatfeeding my LO when she arrives (if all goes well) but have always felt a bit shy about feeding in public. After reading this I will def be giving it a go!

CloudC · 04/06/2012 19:01

In 6 months of breastfeeding my daughter in public places every day I have never had a negative look or comment either, just a few smiles. I think some older male relatives were a bit embarrassed at first but once they realised I wasn't embarrassed and that nothing is actually on show, they were fine too. Most people don't really notice, it just looks like baby is sleeping in your lap.

Woodyhels · 04/06/2012 19:08

Another one here with no negative comments, dd is 9 months and I've had numerous people offer me a glass of water in cafes as well as lots of people saying its nice to see (I think I'm discrete but for some reason people seem to notice and have a chat with me about it)

Original poster

fallingandlaughing · 04/06/2012 21:29

Isn't it nice that BF can be such a positive experience? I too was braced to have to respond to negativity that never occurred

Sparklekitty that's great. I really recommend wearing a stretchy spaghetti strap vest under a t-shirt or jersey for easy breastfeeding. Reach under to open BF bra. Pull down vest at that side. Latch baby on as you lift t-shirt. Means you can be warm and no-one will notice. n.b. It can be a it more of a faff at first but you'll soon get the hang of it. I know you weren't asking for tips but this is one of the best breastfeeding tips I ever got!

OP posts:

lagoonhaze · 05/06/2012 12:22

Im glad I'm in the minority.

Mother and my FIL don't like it and look uncomfortable.

Best friends are a little uncomfortable especially as she's getting older and keep asking if she'll take a bottle yet.

Random bloke in surgery was bloody rude and got a very calm response.

Luckily it's all made me more stubborn and more determined to feed!

TCOB · 05/06/2012 12:25

Still BFing 23mos DD. Been waiting for a negative comment so that I can get my 'fuck the fuck off you strange pervert' out of the way but heigh ho people are too damn tolerant and understanding.

nickelbarapasaurus · 05/06/2012 12:44

lagoon - my dad seems to have accepted the idea (or rather, has been told with a very firm voice that I will not be happy with negative comments), but my mum seems to keep making stupid remarks about it - like she can't understand the whole thing, or like she can't get her head round the fact that it's normal. (this is also from the woman who said "i support you whatever you do" to my sisters (who FF like my mum) but can't bring herself to say it to me!)
oh, and of course, because I plan to do Natural Term BFing, she says things like "you'll be BFing her to sleep when she's a teenager !"

AngelDog · 05/06/2012 18:11

I've never had a negative comment when feeding in public, despite continuing to feed my enormous 2.5 y.o. in public most days.

I do get a few smiles though. :)

jaggythistle · 05/06/2012 18:47

i got a big grin from an elderly lady when bfing 6 week old DS2 in the doctor's waiting room yesterday. when he'd finished she looked at him all flaked out and asked his age then said 'he looks completely relaxed' :)

also got big grins from an older lady in my local shopping centre recently.

never had any negative comments, DS1 fed till 2 but probably only in public till 9 or 10 months.

SilentBoob · 05/06/2012 18:59

I have 4 1/2 years of breastfeeding under my belt (over 3 children - youngest still going). Have breastfed in cafes, malls, shops, restaurants, pubs, in parks, at gigs and concerts, school assemblies, on planes, buses, trains, motorway services, while getting my hair cut, getting a pedicure, walking the dog, in Europe, Africa, Asia, the Middle East, alone, with my husband, with friends, with family, in the rain, sitting, standing, lying down, have breastfed a newborn, a faffing toddler, a 3 year old, every which way... and I have only ever had smiles and positive comments. Most people don't even notice.

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