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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding in public experience

82 replies

fallingandlaughing · 04/06/2012 11:49

DD is nearly one year old.

So I have a year of breastfeeding in public (and private!) under my belt.

In all that time I have received a negative response... never! People rarely notice. If they do, they don't tend to comment, apart from older people who may say "Lovely" or "Well done". Once I was breastfeeding her on the bus and a very elderly man offered to hold her while I was eating. I explained she was eating too and he was amazed, and very impressed that we could multitask like that!

I just wanted anyone starting out BF to know about this. With all the controvery whipped up in the media lately you wwould think that there is a lot of negativeity amongst the general public. But that's not my experience.

OP posts:

Helenh90 · 05/06/2012 19:06

I've mostly had a positive reaction or they haven't noticed, my dd2 is nearly 4mo and I've only ever had one negative experience when someone told me it was disgusting (how rude! ). Didn't really bother me though and I plan to keep going as long as dd wants to.
I wish I could go a whole year without any negative feedback, that was part of the reason I gave up bf dd1 at 3 weeks

firstpost · 05/06/2012 19:08

Had mainly positive experiences with feeding my ds now 10m. The exception being my MIL who said "ugh, it turns my stomach" when I was feeding him when he was 5 DAYS old! She is a whole other thread though ..

osterleymama · 05/06/2012 20:02

I've had a few comments in Ireland. An acquaintance came up to say hello at a party noticed I was nursing and said 'oh that's TERRIBLE'. I just said 'why?' and he stuttered and moved on.

I was also asked by different family members on both sides not to feed in front of their or other peoples children. I agreed as it was their home and spent the evening alone upstairs with DS (he was weeks old and cluster feeding).

Never had a comment or negative reaction in public or from a stranger.

Rachog · 05/06/2012 20:21

Thanks for this thread. I am preg with dc 3 and planning to breastfeed for the first time so this is very reassuring.

JollyBear · 05/06/2012 20:28

I fed all over the place and never had a negative comment either. A few nice comments from older women but usually no one noticed.

NCIS · 05/06/2012 20:31

I breastfed 20 years ago and had no negative comments. The photographer at a very posh wedding took pictures of a group of us feeding and said how nice it was to see babies being cuddled , we didn't enlighten him.

Murtette · 05/06/2012 20:49

I fed DD until she was 14mo & only had positive comments. DS is only 2 weeks so has only been fed in public a handful of times but each time I have had such positive comments and noticed when I was in a supermarket cafe on Saturday that some people were going out of their way to come over & comment on how well I was doing. Despite there being a long queue, the woman at the till offered to carry my tea over & another customer asked if I wanted her to take my list & put the rest of the stuff in the trolley whilst I fed!

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 05/06/2012 20:51

I also never had a negative reaction and I breastfed dd for a year. No doubt it does still happen (as threads on here often reveal), but hopefully it is getting more and more rare.

FamiliesShareGerms · 05/06/2012 20:55

Great post, OP. I never had any negative comments either. I had a lovely Polish waiter bring me a glass of water (without being asked) when I was feeding in a posh London bar. A conductor on a train asked me if I'd rather sit in first class so I would have more privacy. And lots of old ladies have looked knowingly at me, but no one has said anything negative. Agree that it's important to get this message out there to any new mums!

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 05/06/2012 20:57

One of the nicest things that happened to me was when I was at a concert when dd was 5 months old and I had left her at home with her dad. I was walking along and I said to my mum, "ouch I am getting full, I'll have to go and express in one of the portaloos" and pulled a face. A security guard overheard me () and said that his wife had breastfed so he knew what it was like, and found the keys to a private room so I could go and express in there. What a gent!

vj32 · 05/06/2012 21:17

I never had any negative comments. I know one friend whose husband was not supportive though and didn't want her to feed in public.

I got lots of smiles and a few nice comments. The only time I thought I was going to have a problem was a young woman staring and a few mins later I realised she had learning difficulties and may not have realised/noticed what I was doing anyway, or may not have known her staring was inappropriate.

I think a lot of the problems are in your head - if you look for people staring, you will find them!! If you are positive, there are lots of little old ladies around who will tell you you have the cutest baby ever! (I'm sure now this is what little old ladies are really for.)

PrematurelyAirconditioned · 05/06/2012 21:47

No, no negative comments, and I'm going back nigh on 10 years here.

windyiow · 05/06/2012 21:54

I have been BFing my DS for 15 months and have feed just about anywhere - never had any negative comments from public - just my DH and Mother who both think DS should be bottle fed - I think mainly cos they assume I will get comments if I carry on - I disagree:) and will continue until little one wants to stop.

HappyAsASandboy · 05/06/2012 21:55

I've never had any negative comments, and only once felt that I was getting disapproving looks (which I may have been imagining.

I am still feeding my 19 month old twins. Between the two of them we've done a lot of feeding in a wide variety of places - cliftops, church steps in a town centre, church services in a local church, beaches, the drop off points at heathrow and gatwick, trains, planes, automobiles and lorry parks ...

I once fed both babies while sitting at the beach with my dad and grandad. As we finished our ice creams, my dad fit all worried and asked whether the babies would be needing any food soon. He was very impressed that I'd fed them both right next the him without him noticing. I think it says as much for the quality of the ice cream as for my feeding skills :)

I hope people who are worried about feeding in public read some of these stories and feel a bit calmer about feeding while out and about.

DW123 · 05/06/2012 22:32

Me too. Have been a bit disappointed not to be able to have a good old rant on my high horse and tell someone to eat their lunch in the toilet. Sadly everyone is nice or ignores it (or knows better than to get between my boys and food). In the early days of feeding both boys at the same time I did find a quiet room in the house when older male relations were around but that was as much for our benefit as theirs.

nickelbarapasaurus · 06/06/2012 12:51

i keep finding myself accidentally staring at bfing women! I don't mean to, it's normally because i'm trying to work out if they are or not, and marvelling at how discreet it is!

BumhangerAbbey · 06/06/2012 20:12

Today was the first time I've breastfed in a busy shopping centre and I had to do it twice. DS2 is 3 months old and up until today I'd only fed in quiet parks in public. The only place I could find both times was a bench full of people that I had to squeeze on. The first time an elderly woman started playing with DS2's feet as soon as he'd stopped feeding and said to him "you're all full up now!" And then asked how old he was etc, the second time a group of teenage lads were next to me and they didn't bat an eyelid. Most people didn't notice and those that did smiled. I was pleasantly surprised.

showtunesgirl · 06/06/2012 20:36

Today DD was kicking up a bit of a fuss after shopping, I knew she'd last 'til home but it was just easier to give her a bit before we hopped on the bus.

A lady noticed me feeding and pointed out that all the other mums were at Costa Coffee or in M & S and I said it was just easier to just perch where I was which was on a bench in the middle of the shopping centre.

I had a chat with her and said about how it was just easier to top DD up before getting on the bus and she said yes, that's what's great about breastfeeding isn't it? I also mentioned about how M & S in Brent Cross had asked a lady to stop feeding her baby and how Clarks in Westfield Stratford had done the same and she said that that kind of behaviour was disgusting and what was the world coming to.

She said that she'd breastfed all her kids and the youngest one was now 43 and then looked rather wistful. Then she got her shopping together and said God bless you both and she went on her merry way.

thepuddingchef · 06/06/2012 20:59

I was just looking through the breast feeding threads to try and get some advice, I have been bf ds now for 6 weeks and have bf in public a couple of times, but today had a really rubbish experience in a crappy well known fast food outlet I have been having feeding issues anyway as ds has reflux, but took other dc as a treat, ds3 was crying so thought I am going to have to feed him, and I had a group of 5 young adults laughing, sneering and making very rude comments, didn't notice at first but tried to ignore it but I feel a bit upset about it now. I think I will unwittingly think twice about feeding in public now

EauRouge · 06/06/2012 21:22

Oh no, that's awful :( Please don't let this upset you too much, it is so rare. Is there a breastfeeding group near you that you can go to?

monkeymoma · 06/06/2012 21:26

I BF for 13 months, no negative responses, some overly positive older women who peered down my pashmina while reminiscing which made me a bit uncomfortable!

There was a case in a local fast food chain which almost turned into a sit-in type process till it turned out that the woman lied, Same for one that was in the national press re. feeding on a bus! I don't doubt it happens sometimes, but there are people on mumsnet who see anti-BF comments where there are none so to some extent I think it CAN be in the eye of the beholder (not always of course)

ButtonBoo · 06/06/2012 21:32

Same. I've never had anyone say anything negative at all. Most barely notice. I was very nervous the first few times, especially in the early days when the latch on takes a few attempts but since she was a few weeks old it just got so easy to get her on and underway. I did away with the scarves and muslins and have just mastered the 'exposing of a little bit of boob'. The problem now is she's just too interested in looking around (DD is 8mo) and likes to try to look behind her...with my nipple still in her mouth! Ouch!!

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 06/06/2012 21:44

Breastfed all three of mine out and about up to about a year with the first two, longer with dc3. The only negative comment ever was in France (waitress very surprised I was 'still' feeding a nine month old )

I'll second the recommendation to wear a long line vest under my top - I used the mama ones from h&m through pregnancies and whilst feeding, brilliant for keeping me covered and warm. I doubt many people even noticed I was feeding. Plus the massive benefit of not having to faff about with bottles and sterilising and having the complete freedom to be away as long as I liked from home without having to worry about running out of milk!

Skillbo · 06/06/2012 23:44

Another one with no negative comments - was even interviewed for local radio whilst bf in a park...

Did have a very creepy man comment as feeding ds at a car booty today though... Was perched half in, half out of my back seat trying to keep an eye on my bits and pieces and he walked past and said "can i have a go?"... I'm pretty easy going about bf anywhere but this made me feel Yuk!

Won't stop me though - nothing easier or more natural

nickelbarapasaurus · 07/06/2012 10:49

pudding - i hope it doesn't put you off.

I know there's nothing worse than feeling like you have to let the baby go hungry than feed in front of knobheads.

they'll feel guilty when they have children of their own.

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