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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

dd refusing breast today...arrrrrghhh!!!!

53 replies

milkmum · 31/01/2006 21:20

please help!!!

I'll try to keep this short!! dd has refusede to bf since this afternoon. it has all gone 'tits up'!!

she is 9 months old. she has recently started biting and has got upset when i pull off. today however i have tried not to pull off quick or react as it has really upset her. as soon as she goes on the b, she bites and then cries. if it is teething then i'd be surprised because she didn't have this problem withthe first 2.

also, will my supply be ok seeing as i have missed 2 feeds? - i will prob leak tonight - sorry, tmi. i really don't want to pump as i have a feelin g that she will wake tonight for a feed. what shall i do if she refuses again - she won't take the bottle anymore either - went off it a month or two ago.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 31/01/2006 21:25

Ah, this sounds like a nursing strike again as discussed on a recent thread which I will find a link for in a minute...

I have heard this is quite common if you have been bitten and yelled out or whatever - they associate breastfeeding with the shock and are a bit wary. Don't worry, you can woo her back on I am sure.

I'll be back with links in a minute...

FrannyandZooey · 31/01/2006 21:30

recent thread

kelly mom - source of all breastfeeding wisdom :)

Original poster
milkmum · 31/01/2006 21:57

Thank you. this has been very reassuring. i did look for something in search but didn't find this thread. Thank you again.

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Original poster
milkmum · 31/01/2006 22:06

just antother quick question.

What do i do in the meantime? she will only take a few sips of formula from the cup and just plays with her bottle now.

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Original poster
milkmum · 31/01/2006 22:16

bump

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Spidermama · 31/01/2006 22:28

Hi milkmum. Sorry you;re going through this. I've just come out the other end (see thread) and I found it surprisingly upsetting.

There's a very good chance she'll come back. You will need to keep your supply going as it diminishes fairly quickly. I ordered a pump from ebay but it took ages to come and by the time it arrived the strike was over.

DH helped a little , but it wasn't ideal. Have you got access to a pump?

Keep offering her the breast in a low key way. Get close to her. Go back to basics. Lots of skin to skin, take baths together, have fun. Don't let her see that you're upset. Sleep with her if you like. Try to hang out with her as much as poss.

Spidermama · 31/01/2006 22:31

Lots of interesting stuff link{http://www.lalecheleague.org/cgi-bin/aglimpse/33/mnt/WWW/lalecheleague.org/htdocs?submit=Search%3A&query=nursing+strike\here}.

Spidermama · 31/01/2006 22:32

Oops. I mean here .

chipmonkey · 31/01/2006 23:04

milkmum, your supply is probably so well established by now that one or two missed feeds will hardly affect it at all. ds3 is usually OK on the breast but when teething will not take a bottle for dh, who looks after him on Saturdays while work. Dh gives him baby Nurofen half an hour before he's due a feed and that sorts him out. Not very organic, I know but it works!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 31/01/2006 23:07

Think my DS is doing this atm as well. He has been ill but he did bite the other day and i took him off and sat him on the floor then tried again after 10 mins. He feeds well at night when tired but faffs about during daytime feeds.

Original poster
milkmum · 01/02/2006 14:22

Hi, sorry i didn'y read your replies last night - i had to have an early night!

Well, she atleast slept through the night until 7am. I am very surprised seeing as she had missed 2 feeds.

She has totally refused it again and yes it is really upsetting and worrying. She won't take any ebm from the bottle and i've only managed to get 1 oz down her with her cup.

The other worrying thing is that for some reason, i can only express sbout an ounce out of each breast. Even first thing this morning, I know they are full but for some reason it won't come out.

I am trying so hard not to cry in front of her and show her that i am upset. I had a huge cry when she went down for her nap.

I am so worried that this is the end - ie my supply will dry up and at the same time she won't take milk any other way.

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chipmonkey · 01/02/2006 14:49

Milkmum, first of all, it sounds like you're not getting the let-down reflex which "releases" the milk. Are you using a breast pump or expressing by hand?

Original poster
milkmum · 01/02/2006 14:52

i am using a pump

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chipmonkey · 01/02/2006 15:00

Manual or battery?

chipmonkey · 01/02/2006 15:12

Sorry, milkmum, have to go out now but if you can adjust the speed of the pump, I usually find that pumping hard and fast for a few minutes to begin with usually helps the let-down. Then you just pump at the normal speed. A picture of your dd might help or the sound of her crying. Usually feeding is more efficient than pumping though. Even if you can pump small amounts every 3 hours or so, that will help your supply. Try not to get too stressed out either, This will probably pass!

Spidermama · 01/02/2006 15:18

I was never any good at pumping it out.

During my ds's nursing strike I ended up sucking the milk out myself, (I know how crazy that sounds but it made good practical sense as it worked when nothing else did) which reveals the somewhat 'loose' state of my breasts, but I found I could reach, take a quiet five minutes to get the milk out (spit or swallow depending how you feel).

I completely understand how upsetting it is and I really feel for you milkmum. I felt spurned, huniliated and just lost. BF-ing was my most successful tool for loving, calming and feeding my baby and I had taken it for granted until it stopped so abruptly.

If it's any consolation at all it started again just as quickly as it had stopped. He sucked and sucked as if making up for lost time.

I wish you all the best with it.

You're more than welcome to email me off list if you like.

Tipex · 01/02/2006 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipmonkey · 01/02/2006 16:09

Spidermama, respect!

FrannyandZooey · 01/02/2006 18:39

LOL Spidey, bet the people who made the channel 4 breastfeeding prog would have killed to get you on camera. Ds keeps telling me to have some of my milk: "Go on, mummy, try some, it's really nice, have some mummy!" I am a bit jealous of the fact you have enough breast left to be able to reach, I would have no chance

VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/02/2006 21:36

Go Spidermama!

Agree that feeling stressed would hinder your ability to express.

Spidermama · 02/02/2006 22:23

How is it going milkmum?

Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 20:18

Hi. Sorry i haven't been on, the computer was playing up. I have been so desperate to come and chat to you all.
First of all - spidermama - what can i say?!! good on you! if i could i would - actually i haven't even tried so i might do later .
DD is still refusing and i can only express about 1oz total each time i pump. It's difficult to find the time to do so too. DD won't let me do it with her in the room. Now that the weekend is here dh can take her and i can try every 3 hours.

I can not believe how upset i am at the prospect of this being it. i can't stop crying at the smallest things.

to make things worse, i can't even express enough and even if i could she won't take more then 1-2 ounces with a cup. therefore i'm having to sneak it into her food. so i can't even cuddle up with her and feed her.

I am so miserable . i hope this passes.

how often should i keep trying to get her to feed. I've been tryin g at the normal times

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Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 20:18

sorry forgot to ask - how do you make rice pudding and can you do it with formula or ebm?

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chipmonkey · 03/02/2006 20:38

Hi milkmum
1/4 cup of ground rice
1 cup EBM

Mix together in a saucepan and bring to the boil, simmer for 5 minutes. Also nice mixed with pureed strawberry! Hope you don't have to resort to this for any length of time! How are things?

Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 21:09

hi chipmonkey. thanks for that. i laughed to myself when i read a cup of ebm!!!! i think i'll try it with formula - i can use that instead right?

How am i feeling? - really low, desperate and miserable. I only intended to bf dd until 12 months old which is only 2 months away, but it is still too soon. i feel i have let her down on one of the first things that i have to offer as a mother. she has also developed a runny nose over the last 2 days and i feel that this is because she's not getting my immunity cells. this is only her third cold in 91/2 months.

ok i'm going to stop rambling. i could go on all night with all the things i feel bad about.

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