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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

dd refusing breast today...arrrrrghhh!!!!

53 replies

milkmum · 31/01/2006 21:20

please help!!!

I'll try to keep this short!! dd has refusede to bf since this afternoon. it has all gone 'tits up'!!

she is 9 months old. she has recently started biting and has got upset when i pull off. today however i have tried not to pull off quick or react as it has really upset her. as soon as she goes on the b, she bites and then cries. if it is teething then i'd be surprised because she didn't have this problem withthe first 2.

also, will my supply be ok seeing as i have missed 2 feeds? - i will prob leak tonight - sorry, tmi. i really don't want to pump as i have a feelin g that she will wake tonight for a feed. what shall i do if she refuses again - she won't take the bottle anymore either - went off it a month or two ago.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 21:12

chipmonkey - by the way, it's an electic pump. I pump on the highest setting. i don't understand it. maybe it is the anxiety of wanting loads of ebm.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 21:12

chipmonkey - by the way, it's an electic pump. I pump on the highest setting. i don't understand it. maybe it is the anxiety of wanting loads of ebm.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 21:58

DD finally took my right breast in her mouth today but just bit it. She did this several times. Is this a sign that she is getting closer to going back to bf?

OP posts:
Tipex · 03/02/2006 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 22:13

Amazingly she just goes into her cot awake and goes to sleep. I feel like i'm missing out on the evening cuddle and wind down. she won't take a drop from bottle or cup.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 22:13

Amazingly she just goes into her cot awake and goes to sleep. I feel like i'm missing out on the evening cuddle and wind down. she won't take a drop from bottle or cup.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 22:13

Amazingly she just goes into her cot awake and goes to sleep. I feel like i'm missing out on the evening cuddle and wind down. she won't take a drop from bottle or cup.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkmum · 03/02/2006 22:16

whoops! posted before i had finished!!
Last night i waited for her to fall asleep in my arms - or close to,and everytime i tried putting the breast in, she woke and turned away etc.
tried again tonight but she wouldn't settle in my arms tonight.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 03/02/2006 23:17

milkmum, you don't actually need a cup of EBM either, you could use a teaspoon of ground rice and 4 teaspoons of EBM if thats all you have. Could she have a sore mouths for any reason? didn't someone on MN recently discover their baby had mouth ulcers? Hope the strike ends soon!

Spidermama · 04/02/2006 21:06

Milkmum how are you doing?
It sounds like you had a near miss with your dd nearly taking the breast again. My ds did this a few times before he finally took it again.
Good luck.

chipmonkey · 05/02/2006 15:17

how are things, milkmum, any better?

CorrieDale · 07/02/2006 09:11

milkmum, FWIW I tried to express using a manual pump last night, which I've used before with more or less success though not recently. I was feeling v. stressed coz DS has cold and couldn't feed - not the same horrible circs as you have, but I was still feelng v. panicky and I couldn't get out a drop. Not even one. So, not having Spidermama's dexterity, I hand-expressed into a bottle using the funnel thingy from the pump to catch the spurts. It worked better than I'd expected and way better than the pump. Might be worth a shot?

Original poster
milkmum · 07/02/2006 10:27

Hello everyone. Unfortunaetly, she is still not bf. very very very It's a week today.

Half the time she won't even lie down for the feed and if she does she just takes the breast in her mouth and bites. she'll do this once or twice and then want to get up again.

To make matters worse she hass developed a cold which therefore would not let her feed anyway because her nose is soo full.

With regards to expressing, i am still only get between 1/2 to 1 ounce total at a time. I only really get to express three times a day with a huge gap from lunch til the evening. DD doesn't let me do it infront of her.

I am sadly and with huge regret, coming to the dicision that this might be the end. I am losing my suppy and i can't see her changing her mind. I have lost my baby girl .

DH is going away for a week on saturday and there is no way i can keep this up. I keep trying to convince myself that i have done my best but i still feel awful and wonder if there is anything i should have done differently etc.

I am missing my morning express by being on here. maybe i'll try at lunch time.
I think i should try and focus now on trying to get her to drink more from her cup. She will only take half - 2 oz when i try. So far the toatl she has is a bout 10 oz and then cheese and yogurt on top of that.

She won't take from a bottle, she jusst plays with it. I don't even get to cuddle her that way. Oh i miss it soooo much.

Must go now, i am too upset to continue.
Thank you for reading this all.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 07/02/2006 10:37

milkmum I know it sounds like pointless platitudes but you have done so well already. It sounds like you are getting to the point of letting go and I reckon you'll feel better once you've made the decision.

It must have been a hard time for you over this last week, but you can ditch the guilt right now because you have clearly, obviously done your best for her.

Thanks for keeping us it touch. I was thinking about you.

All the best. x

Original poster
milkmum · 07/02/2006 14:50

spidermama

thank you for your kind words. having the supoort from fellow mums really does help.
Can i just ask you a quick ques? You said that during your ds's strike he also started to bite. How long did this last and what did you do when he did? - sorry that's 2 ques!!!!

I think i am going to make a final decision - if she doesn't start by Saturday, then I shall stop trying.I might re think about expressing and maybe keep trying that. I had seen somewhere that one mother's baby went on strike for 40 days!!!!

OP posts:
Tipex · 07/02/2006 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spidermama · 07/02/2006 20:50

Milkmum my ds started the biting thing about four days into the strike. It was really hard because I was trying to offer him the breast in a low key way (he was also stroking and poking all around the area) but I was tense because I knew he might bite.

After two or three days of biting (softly thank God!) he started to suck again. Like you I was begining to wonder how long to give it. You have to do what you feel is right. I have read about a three week strike when the baby went back on but even by day five I was starting to have conflicting emotions. (Am I being a mad pushy mum or am I doing the right thing by carrying on trying).

I certainly wouldn't have had the stamina or the confidence to carry on for much longer so I understand how you're feeling.

It's worth remembering that if you stop trying you're not completely burning your bridges. I'm sure tiktok said to me the milk would carry on being produced (at a low level) for three weeks. Threafter it can return as long as someone sucks for long enough.

But you may think enough is enough and so you must do whatever feels right. As has already been pointed out you've done so well for the past nine months and it'll stand you both in great stead.

Good luck milkmum.

FrannyandZooey · 07/02/2006 21:25

Oh milkmum, I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to let you know I have read this and am thinking of you. Please keep us posted.

The only thing I can think of to encourage you, is that although I am hugely pro-breastfeeding, even I realise that there is so much more to parenting than breastfeeding - if only it were that simple, in a way! There are so many other ways that you and your daughter will share love and comfort together - try to do as many as you can this week, I think you both need it

lact8 · 07/02/2006 21:47

Milkmum, i've read the whole thread and really feel for you. Must say i agree with tipex that you've done really well to get so far and it does appear its her decision to stop feeding. My DS2 self weaned and I found it a very emotional time, missing the closeness it gave us, feeling that I was losing my baby and saying goodbye to breastfeeding forever so give yourself the time to be sad about it. With regards to milk supply, after DS1 i still had milk six months after finishing feeding him, not huge gushing amounts or anything but i'm sure it would've come back fully with the right stimulation! After DS2 my milk stayed but became pregnant with DD1 within a month and milk stayed all the way through pregnanct too. So if she does show an interest in starting again there is still hope that you'll be able to produce the goods!
Hope everything works out for you

Original poster
milkmum · 07/02/2006 22:06

Oh bless you all.
Your words have really touched me and I am at this very moment sharing with you my final decision to stop expressing and to stop bf. (tears rolling down my face)
I guess it is better that it has happened this way rather then trying to wean dd later. Atleast this way it is her decision and therefore she is happier. I know that I would (like all mums) probably feel just as bad if it happened later rather then sooner. It was going to happen eventually - i wasn't going to carry on forever like some women(ie the prog last week!!).
I really cannot thank you all enough in helping me through this and seeing it to the end with me. I shall keep trying but with less stress and hopefully one day i might be back with good news!
Until then i wish you all the breast - sorry poor joke!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 07/02/2006 22:31

All the breast to you too milkmum. Your dd's a lucky girl.

Original poster
milkmum · 07/02/2006 22:31

Just thought!!! What if I try a different pump? HAve just been reading a couple of other threads and some mums have said that they have gotton on better with expressing when they tried a different pump. At the mo I'm using the medela mini electric and i have always found it very uncomfortable. But I thought that maybe all of them feel like this.
What do you think?

OP posts:
Spidermama · 07/02/2006 22:34

I've never been much good at expressing. I have the Avent Isis pump which I bought on ebay. Someone also said that la leche league will lend you a decent pump. they'd be the people to ask about this.

My best method by far was - ahem - self expressing, as after the first minute or so it began to flood out in a way I'd never had with the pump.

I would call LLL or the BF Network and ask them about pumps if you want to go down this road.

Original poster
milkmum · 07/02/2006 22:38

I have a confession - I tried as you put it 'self expressing'too. I nearly broke my neck but it did work!!! Shows how droopy my boobs are!! But i couldn't do it for long because i could just about reach and therefore it was difficult!
The things we do for our los!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 07/02/2006 22:41

Milkmum I'll say this for you; you've left no stone unturned.

I really hope that however in pans out you start to feel happier soon. You certainly deserve to.

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