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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

channel 4 breastfeeding programme

816 replies

lazycow · 23/01/2006 14:20

Just thought people might be interested if you don't already know.

Channel 4 on Weds 1 Feb. A programme called Extraordinary Breastfeeding is on. The write up in the magazine I'm looking at says:

"You'll be texting your friends about this as soon as it starts. It's about the phenomenon of mothers who breastfeed their kiddies well beyond the age considered 'normal' in this country. Seeing a feisty mum breastfeed her two-year-old twin isn't that disturbing, but the sequence of another lady suckling her 7 year old dughter isn't one we will forget in a hurry. "

I'm looking forward to seeing the tone it takes.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 13:55

You can't force a child to breastfeed. DS1 dropped his morning feed last - the bedtime one, he'd lie next to me, turn his head as if to feed, then grin at me and turn away. I stopped offering after a couple of days. Same with the morning feed. How could I have forced him? He had teeth, fgs! He'd have won...

Aloha · 24/01/2006 13:56

And if her peers get to hear about it, she'll be crucified at school. Not healthy.

emkana · 24/01/2006 13:59

I think it's totally pointless to get hung up about this ten-year-old. We know nothing about the circumstances of this particular child, about her relationship with her parents and what issues there might have been with siblings. Yes, it's highly unusual to put it mildly for a ten year old to express such a wish, but without knowing more about it why condemn it so out of hand?

JoolsToo · 24/01/2006 14:31

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nanneh · 24/01/2006 14:34

When my DS wants a bf-eed, he goes to his room, picks up his teddy and "tells" me it time for a bf.

He is unbelievely independent for his age, never clings to me (loves his daddy as much as me) so anyone who says bf babies are not independent is talking a load of rubbish.

I have never forced my DS to bf and never will. Even at 19 months he has a mind of his own and when he is READY to stop he will tell me so. I am sure of it

JoolsToo · 24/01/2006 14:36

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kittyfish · 24/01/2006 14:46

It seems to me that we all get our knickers in a twist about prolonged breast feeding due to the sexualisation on breasts. If breasts were asexual no one would care if we bf until our kids were 14.

Meanoldmummy · 24/01/2006 15:10

I disagree. nappies aren't sexual (well, not in this house, anyway), and neither are baby-gros, dummies, or any of the other paraphernalia of babyhood. breastfeeding a ten-year-old girl as a birthday treat is downright wonky. Loopy. Mad as a mongoose.

harpsichordcarrier · 24/01/2006 15:17

hey. here's an idea
shall we WATCH THE PROGRAMME before we start our judge-fest
you guys are peaking too early with your allegations of inappropriate sexuality and madness.
it's not aired till next week.....

Meanoldmummy · 24/01/2006 15:18

...stark, staring......sorry. I'll contain myself

kama · 24/01/2006 16:02

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MrsSpoon · 24/01/2006 16:15

I just want to clear up that my objection to the 10 year old having a b/feed is not anything to do with breasts having a sexual purpose. It is simply that IMO it is very odd to give a 10 year old a breastfeed, when presumably she has stopped feeding at least a couple of years previous. It would be like a child of that age asking for drinks out of a baby's bottle, I don't think many of us would do it.

(For the record I am pro-breastfeeding and pro-extended breastfeeding but this is weird).

emkana · 24/01/2006 19:35

joolstoo - of course I've done that, but when they fell over while trying to sit or walk I picked them up or gave them support.

That's a totally different thing to making a baby stop breastfeeding - to really stick my neck out here, I shudder sometimes when I read threads with recommendations to let the baby starve because in the end they will take the bottle out of hunger. Also if people are encouraged to go away for the weekend to make their toddler stop breastfeeding then that's not gentle encouragement, but forcing it on them. I totally understand that sometimes/often it's necessary for various reasons for mothers to stop breastfeeding before their baby/child is ready, but we shouldn't pretend that they stop through gentle encouragement, because that's not what it is.
When my dd1 was getting older (coming up for two) I started to try and cut down feeds, trying to distract her when she wanted to drink with books or snacks or toys. If she went for that - fine, if she got distressed I let her feed. I also tried to follow the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. Gradually my dd1 cut down more and more, until finally at two years 4 months she gave up her last feed of the day.
By the same method my dd2 is now down to just the bedtime feed.
That's what I would regard as gentle encouragement, comparable to what you describe with regards to sitting or walking.
Just to stress again, I DO NOT condemn mothers who force their baby/child to stop breastfeeding, |NOT AT ALL. So please don't jump on me.
I just feel that there's a difference, as I've tried to explain.

kittyfish · 24/01/2006 19:49

Sorry, just got back. Agree it is weird, 7 is too old imo, but I am a great believer in live and let live. For the record am still bfing my 9mo daughter and planning to continue for forseeable future. (though not years - want to wear sexy underwired uncomfortable bras again!!).

nanneh · 24/01/2006 19:52

emkana - beautifully put and totally admire your gentle method of weaning. Will be asking for your guidance if I need to do this, ok ?

At the moment my DS is no where near being "ready" for weaning off the breast and I will never force him. In fact I am so happy that at 19 months he still feeds 5 - 6 per day. Two weeks ago he had the nastiest cold and cough and refused solids and then when he finally had a yoghurt he threw it all up. Breastmilk is the ONLY thing he could drink/eat and if I had not been able to BF him for food and comfort I would have been beside myself.

I am sorry, but no one is going to tell me breastmilk is unnecessary beyond year one, whether for health reasons or emotional reasons. Mothers who have breastfed a toddler and weaned gently off the breast or allowed a toddler to self wean are the only people who have anything intelligent to say about this I am afraid.

JoolsToo · 24/01/2006 19:57

"joolstoo - of course I've done that, but when they fell over while trying to sit or walk I picked them up or gave them support"

but did you carry on doing that until they were 5, 7, 10? It does not take 5, 7 or 10 years to wean a child

emkana · 24/01/2006 19:58

nanneh - thank you for your kind words
And if you have any questions/want to hear more about my experiences, feel free to ask any time!

emkana · 24/01/2006 20:01

In most cases it doesn't take that long, I agree with you, joolstoo. From reading on other boards and from my own experiences I would say it takes somewhere between two and four years in most cases, depending on the child. Sometimes children are ready to self-wean before the age of two, in rare cases even before 18 or 12 months. But the vast majority would, if left to decide for themselves, carry on until they are somewhere between two and four years old. And that's why, funnily enough, the WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least two years of age, and after that for as along as mother and child wish .

GDG · 24/01/2006 20:17

But you do kind of 'force' them to potty train don't you? None of mine said 'no nappy, please can I use the toilet' - I took the nappy off and they never got it back and they 'had' to learn! Time to give them up, big boy now, end of. Same with bottles - 10 months I just took them away, I didn't wait for them to ask me to take them away.

hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 20:18

GDG, if the WHO recommended you'd left them with bottles till they were at least two, would you still have taken them away at 10mo?

GDG · 24/01/2006 20:22

No, not if there was a valid reason. But I'm not saying you should force a child to stop bf before 2 either. I realise that's the recommendation and I don't see a real issue with that. For me, it's when they get to about 2.5-3 it just seems unnecessary when you are moving towards independence in every other way - using cups, toilet, cutlery to eat with, they start to talk in sentences. It's just a personal view I know, for me bf 'should' kind of go with the nappies and being fed thing.

hunkermunker · 24/01/2006 20:25

That's fair enough - now, how about if the WHO said "at least" two years? (which they do )

nanneh · 24/01/2006 20:27

Besides the major world health orgs. recommending at least 2 years (although as one expert has said, "it is the lucky baby who is fed until 2", i.e there are sadly so very few in the world fed for that long), I would say common sense plays a large part in what I try to do. If anything distresses my child, I won't do it.

Forcing him off the breast is NOT the same as taking away his nappy. BF is about his emotions and feelings for his mother as well as his food. Nappies do not play a large part in his emotions and do not provide comfort, in fact they must a bloody nuisance to wear 24/7 !

emkana · 24/01/2006 20:28

Do you know, it would make such a huge massive difference if it became wildly accepted that up to two is good and normal - then I could hope to feed my next child when they fall over and hurt themselves at 18 months or whatever and not feel embarrassed about it. To be fair after two years it's very rare for feeding to be done outside the privacy of the home, so it's not so much an issue then how the general public perceives it.

emkana · 24/01/2006 20:29

Very good point, nanneh. I think if a toddler could put into words his feelings about breastfeeding we'd all be stunned.