when did your BF toddler self-wean?

[blackcurrants]

DS is 18 months and feeds first thing in the morning and at his bedtime. When he started walking at 13 months he significantly lost interest for a month or two, while his feet never stopped moving, but recently he has seemed keener than ever. It is so easy to feed him that I'm not in a rush to.stop, but qt the same time would like to imagine this gently winding down, oh, this year maybe? his growing enthusiasm is kind of making my heart sink! I want to try for #2 this summer and do not relish the idea of BFing while pregnant. I was sooo sore when pg!

Watching with interest, ds also 18 months and also stepped up his interest in an alarming way - he was feeding about 8 times a day and night before...

he has recently got a bit cross when someone leaves, even DH taking the bins out, so.I wonder if this is a developmental phase maybe. . .

DD1 was 3.6y and self weaned not through lack of interest but she was unable to latch due to changes in her jaw (got her adult molars when she was 4.9y-ish). She is 5.10y and has very fond memories of 'bah'.

DD2 is 4.1y and 'still' nursing but will probably self wean in the next 6-12m at a guess.

DD3 is 2.3y and 'still' nursing - no idea when she will stop, perhaps this year, perhaps in 5 years time, not a clue but will follow her lead.

Yes he wants to be picked up and carried ALL THE TIME. Wasn't sure if its teeth, developmental, weridness of having people over christmas etc etc.

My only dc to self-wean was 3.6.

this is very helpful, thank you and keep the weaning stories coming! I got my first "still" comment this weekend- managed a shrug and 'yep, its going great' which sorted it!

Ooh same question here. My daughter is 17 months and I don't really want to take it away from her if she's not ready, but it has started to feel a bit more awkward recently what with her being very verbal and vocal when she wants it, and pulling up my top and so on. Also it seems to mean I'm always on bedtime duty. Does anyone's toddler who is still breastfeeding, not need it as part of their bedtime routine I wonder?

I haven't got many "still" comments but tbh that is probably because hardly anyone knows apart from my family. Now that she's a bit older and a lot bigger, I'm perhaps not quite as out and proud as I thought I would be...

DS is 2.4 and still feeding. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with no 2. Feeding only once a day in the morning. He sometimes asks after his nap, but generally doesn't seem bothered if I say 'that's for the morning' and offer him some milk instead.

We had a milestone moment the other day when he bumped his head on something, came to me asking for 'kiss' instead of 'boobies' for soothing.

FWIW, feeding as little as I do, the nipple soreness from pregnancy wasn't too bad. However, I think I've got nipple thrush now, so that's made it a bit worse. Have Canestan from the GP and hoping it does the trick!

SecondRow, could you try just doing the feed and then letting your other half do the rest of bedtime? We did that for a while when DS was still having two feeds a day. Morning seems to be the more important one for DS, so that's the one that's stuck.

Thanks YankNCock, that's a good idea. At the moment the feed is the last element of bedtime and then straight into bed, so we probably need to change things around somehow so that it's not the most essential element. I think it's probably as much down to me as anything, that I don't know what to replace it with or can't quite picture what our relationship and routine will look like without it!

my first stopped at 3 about a month after her sister was born.

Dd2 weaned during the day at about 18 months as i was pregnant with dd3. I think she was uncomfortable and i had nipples like bullets so harder to latch on. She still feeds last thing on a night at 3.4 and often asks during the day when dd3 feeds.
Dd3 is self-weaning i think. She is 17 months and has gone from feeding eteXts few hours to just once a day and early evening. She did start walking 2 months ago which might explain things.
On a good note she doesn't need booby to get to sleep so i can't see myself feeding her past 2

DD2 and DD3 don't need to bf just before bed, they like to but they don't need to. DH can easily put them to bed without me.

Debs75 and TruthSweet, do you mind if I ask you to tell me about your bedtime routines then? I am looking for ideas to get past the reliance on bf that we have fallen into. At the moment we have dinner, quiet wind-down time, books and/or bath/teeth etc, into sleepy suit, then bf and into cot. Trying not to actually feed to sleep...

DS2 stopped at just over 4 having wound down to every couple of weeks. DD is 2.10 and still nursing lots no idea when she'll stop.

We have tea (well the DDs do), they go up to bed, get into PJs, brush teeth, perhaps have a story (if they have behaved/there is time), DD2 has 'bah' then does kisses and cuddles with everyone and gets into bed, DD3 has 'bah' then does kisses and cuddles and gets into bed.

We say night night and turn off the light and everyone hopefully stays in their own bed and goes to sleep. DD1 usually comes down stairs for a bit to read her school books, do some homework and play a board game before going up to bed at 7.15.

DS1 was a little over 3. He was down to just a drink first thing in the morning. He stopped so gradually that I didn't even realise he'd weaned. He would have an early morning feed one day then miss a few, then have another. This carried on for a little while until I suppose he was getting so little he didn't bother but didn't mind either. After a few days I though "oh, that must be it". Bittersweet.

DS2 will be 3 at the end of March and despite initially being less of a comfort feeder (did FAR less reading with DS2 than I did with DS1) I think he'll be well over 3 as he wakes for a big drink in the night still. I may well set boundries in the months as I resent the frequent wakings at times.

Second you can teach your DD what's appropriate - though she sounds quite vocal for one so young. Do you have a word for BF? We just call it Mummy milk. I have at various times had to teach my boys when it was time for Mummy milk. I'd maybe have rather a strained weekend with having to distract them, but they soon learnt that Mummy milk was at nap time and bed time (or only happens in a certain chair...or whatever).

I was lucky with DS2, he had obviously read the little nugget which says "always put your baby down sleepy but not asleep so they learn to self settle". So, he's never been dependent to BF at bedtime. Going away on business when he was a little over 2 knocked the bedtime feed on the head and replaced it with bedtime stories. That might be a bit extreme though!

With DS1 he just got to an age where bed time stories took over from BF and he had "beaker milk" instead. He was older than 18 months for sure. Your DD is changing so much right now. Her understanding will be so much greater in a few months and you'll be able to try some different things. Or you could just go with it. They're not dependent on you for very long.

my DD1 seemed to slow right down to one or two feeds a day at just over a year...and then at 18/20mths she was back up to 8 or more feeds a day! It seems to be a not so unusual pattern among mums i know. DD1 kind of stopped around 4yrs of age but had occasional feeds up to just past 5th birthday. i feel a bit sad in that she didn't really self wean, I really did start to put limits to her feeding. Mentally, I would have loved her to self wean but physically it was just so irritating / grating. and the weirdest thing was I could feed her and think 'arrgghh grrr' and then seconds later feed younger DD2 and think 'ahh lovely'. DD2 is now 3yrs old and sometimes forgets, but mostly has morning and nighttime feed. I can feel irritation creeping in very rarely but definitely started. I feel that self weaning is a goal i might not reach but that they will clearly have had an awful lot of mummy milk and as much as i would have loved them to let DD1 let go first it did take a bit of nudging from me. in fact i get a bit jealous when i hear people saying 'oh 3yr old just lost their suck'. I don't think DD1 would ever lose her ability to b/f!

CH - unless DD1 never loses any baby teeth, she will lose her ability to suckle so depending on her teeth development it might have been more at the 7y mark than the 3y mark. Don't blame you at all for gently weaning at 5 though - a very good innings.

My DD1 was freakishly developed on teething front (not bragging though as she wasn't hot on anything else ) and had 7 teeth in 3 weeks at 7m, all her teeth at 22m and adult molars at about 4.9y - we swapped dentist about that time and her new dentist saw her teeth and her school uniform and put her at 6 or 7 she was 4 and in reception. She is 5.10 now and has a ton of adult teeth (about 9 I think). She'd love to have 'bah' again though so it's a case of the flesh is weak but the spirit willing

I find the argh/awww thing with DD2 & DD3 too!

TSC - not guaranteed. DS2 and DD tandem nursed til DS2 was just over 4 and DD was 2.4

SecondRow My DD is just over 3 yo and if I'm in then she wants boob before bed but if I'm not then she'll settle perfectly happily (with DH, my mum, etc) without it. She stopped nursing to sleep when she was about 14 months without be doing anything but goes through periods when it still works eg when she dropped her nap, if she's particularly tired etc. Tbh we count it as a bonus when it works!

at Yank - long time, no cross post. Big congrats on #2! If you're looking for an antenatal class, I thoroughly recommend Lazy Daisy

DS1 18m
DS2 29m