when did your BF toddler self-wean?

[blackcurrants]

DS is 18 months and feeds first thing in the morning and at his bedtime. When he started walking at 13 months he significantly lost interest for a month or two, while his feet never stopped moving, but recently he has seemed keener than ever. It is so easy to feed him that I'm not in a rush to.stop, but qt the same time would like to imagine this gently winding down, oh, this year maybe? his growing enthusiasm is kind of making my heart sink! I want to try for #2 this summer and do not relish the idea of BFing while pregnant. I was sooo sore when pg!

yeah, one of the things that I've learned this past year and a half is that there's no 'rod for your back' really. DS was in with us for the first 8 months of his life, then we moved and slowly, gently introduced him to his own room (I slept in there with him for a long time, then only went in when he cried) and then we night-weaned (interestingly the Jay Gordon method is for cosleeping and nightweaning, so still might work for you? Maybe? Your DH does need to do it all, though, so you have to have him onside. My DH is a teacher and so we picked a half term week and went for it, he did all the nights and I made sure he got some time to lie-in...) and now I'm trying to get him to stop waking up at 4.30 and sleep till 5.30 or even (gasp!) 6.... but I do think that we introduce habits and changes when he is ready for them, and when we are ready for them as a family.

Reading everything here has reassured me a bit, it sounds like DS is probably having a bit of a clingy phase that makes nursing specially wonderful, so that's fine. I'm glad to be still BFing, frankly, as he's not crying or being difficult in any other way, so if this is the only manifestation, yay for us!
I also have worked out through the course of this thread that I want to wean him before I have to bargain with him to stop feeding (the sticker chart etc) - I can see him hanging on for ever, as it's basically a cuddle with something sweet to drink, and who wouldn't want that?! So if interest doesn't taper off by the summer I might ask DH to get him up for a while, dropping the morning feed, then see if I want to tackle the bedtime one later.

I was tickling him on the floor this morning and we ended up lying down together. He made an immediate dive for the boob, just after an enormous breakfast, and he wouldn't have done that a month ago so yeah.... very keen at the moment!

DS is 4.10 and informs me at every opportunity that he's going to carry on having 'mambo' for ever and ever although it's only at bedtime now. He weaned for two weeks when I was in hospital a couple fo momnths back and we thought that was it, but he had other ideas and my notion of letting him latch on just once more to prove to him that the milk was all gone didn't quite go to plan! Apparently I have switch-off-and-on-able boobs.

Spider I think if you've been feeding for a long time then the milk supply takes ages to dry up and can be re-started very easily.
My dd (4y8m) has said she will stop when she's 33. I'm sure her and your DS would have a lot in common!

spider and helly - your posts made me giggle out loud at my desk! Also made me slightly groan inside as I can already see DD (nearly 16 months) being just the same. I have known her ask for "mnyum, mmnyums", get it, giggle, point to my nipple (and tweak it), giggle, point to her mouth and suck on her finger (loudly) then say "mine", before nuzzling again

legallyblond We're definitely at the same stage with our DDs, although mine is a little older. DD also ridiculously cute with her 'No, mine' if I try to stop feeding her during the night. I can't see her self weaning either.

As I've discussed on another rheas this morning - never.
By mutual agreement that nine was getting a bit silly.
She's said she'd give up when she started school, but decided weekends and holidays didn't count.

Another thread grrr!

My daughter self weaned at 14 months.

My son never did. In the end I told him that 3yo big boys don't have milkies any more and he had his last feed on the eve of his 3rd birthday. He accepted it without drama or upset.

33 helly

Have been watching thread- I have 20month old who seems to more interested now than ever- and will yell booby at me in all circumstances (wish we'd called it something different) - I need to go away for a few days in a couple of months and am worried about b/f position then. Where DC haven't self weaned how long does it take them to forget/get over it?

Both mine self-weaned at 10 months. I know this is not actually toddlerdom but I don't really understand how people can keep their babies breastfed for long periods of time (up to 2 years). It just seemed natural to stop when they were able to drink independently.

errrr (@ onelittlefish)

I am not sure this is the thread for you!

onelittlefish I find it perfectly natural to feed dd my human milk for as long as she wants rather then feed her cows milk

We don't really have a bedtime routine. They have bath every other night at 6, then play and watch sme telly then DD2 goes to bed at 8 and has a story then booby. DD3 usually has a feed after I get back down and can go to bed any time from 9-11pm.
I keep promising myself when we move and they have their own room I will get into a proper routine. I dream of taking them to bed and reading them a bedtime story and them then drifting off to sleep.

Debs75, I'm with you on preferring human milk, however my 14 month old has self weaned this week and I'm a bit sad about it. I'd love to keep it going a bit longer - do you think I should keep offering? I was rejected at bed-time a few weeks back, but we kept the morning feed. Now that's off the menu for her.

I guess I should give her cows milk now - anyone know how much and when? She has it in her water cup but thinks it's funny to sprinkle it everywhere.

MumCBA - It's considered a nursing strike for a child under 2 to refuse to bf (a bit like you don't let your child decide whether or not they don't want to be strapped in their carseat) but it's your choice if you want to continue offering.

DD2 had a strike at around 18m and, yes it I could have not offered again, but I am glad I did (see my post on the bfing 7y in public thread in AIBU [total misnomer though it's a 6y that got told no ].

Kellymom has some great info on strikes, if you want to have a look.

onelittlefish - I appreciate that for you it felt natural to stop when they could drink independently but for some of us who choose not to stop pre-maturely, please respect that. Nothing wrong with not bfing, stopping early, stopping a bit later, stopping in toddler years, self weaning but this is a self wean thread not a mother led thread.

Thanks TruthSweet, I'll keep on trying, and see what kellymom has to say.

It can take a while (DD2's strike was 2wks) and keeping it low key and low pressure is good for you as well as baby (i.e. no settling down into your favourite bfing chair, getting out the nursing pillow, and then trying to latch on your toddler while you both cry tears of frustration), cuddles in bed in the morning when they are sleepy/cosy, having a bath together, etc.

It may well be the end, and if so, you have done really well and it's a cause for celebration that you nursed for 14m, it they do start up again, well hey, it's a cause for celebration - here's to the next chapter!

Oldest one weaned at 3 yrs 8 mths, was tandem feeding at the time and like another poster here used to find it v irritating, but would find feeding the younger one so lovely. I had started limiting feeds, but she was so flipping determined, it was hard work. I sort of "encouraged" the weaning. Ws then happily feeding dd2 and when she was 2 yrs2mths, she announced she didn't like the "milt" anymore, and that was that. I was so very :(. She had a cold at the time so I think that was the reason, but once she had decided there was no changing her mind. DD1 (now 6yrs) still rems her "nyummies" with great fondness and occasionally announces she'd like some!

I have to say that my bfing days were lovely, and it's the handiest parenting tool ever. Will prob annoy some people but I cannot understand why more mothers don't bf. While occasionally it is a bit of a tie (but what isn't) it's the handiest fixer of everything EVER! And it's free!

We did have a sort of tentative agreement that she would stop when she turned 4,but the day came and that was when she proudly announced the new revised age of 33.

Oh for a like button Helly!

@ hellymelly, that is classic!!

Well after a few days of DD3 being very indifferent to bm and pushing me away she has come back with a vengeance so I think we will be continuing for a while longer.

Hellymelly whenever I ask DD2 whens he will stop she always says not yet, I want booby forever. I tried telling her her nursery friends don't get booby but she assured me they do. She also told me the other night that booby was delicious

MumCBA with a good diet they don't need cows milk. Mine only get it in cereals and sometimes a milkshake. Neither of them really like plain cows milk

it's the handiest parenting tool ever. Will prob annoy some people but I cannot understand why more mothers don't bf. While occasionally it is a bit of a tie (but what isn't) it's the handiest fixer of everything EVER! And it's free!

I'm so glad I read on MN how useful it is for tantrums, when they hurt themselves etc, -its really starting to come into its own for us now. And of course getting him back to sleep 97 times a night. (We tried to night wean the other week, he got hysterical so we are leaving it for a while). Sometimes patronising people say "well done for carrying on so long" but its at the point where its easier than stopping would be.

And he loves it, has a little happy laugh as he contemplates how good its going to be, before latching.

Albrecht I love that laugh too. he laughs and kicks his feet and it's the sweetest, sweetest thing!