Wine and breast feeding...

[twogirls1more]

I enjoy the odd glass of wine with dinner and am just trying to work out what's best considering I'm currently breast feeding my 5 day old son...
I'm breast feeding mostly but as he's vv hungry and not settling well we've taken to giving a couple of top up bottles of formula in the evening and during the nt, (mainly so we can get a few hours sleep!!)
How long does a couple of units take to leave your breast milk once drunk? Last couple of nts I've had prob a unit or two with dinner about 8pm, then not breast fed til around 3-4am. Would my milk by then be clear?
Thanks for advice girls! :)

Indeed, making other women feel bad about their choices is very unpleasant, iheartmolly. Can you believe it - someone who described their struggles with pain and mastitis on this thread has been derided for being 'a martyr' and other people who have chosen to breastfeed and battled through difficulties are being told they are 'smug'. Other people who have shared information on request have been sneered at for giving 'lectures'.

Shocking, isn't it?

And you are making your friend feel bad, but it is 'out of concern' so that's ok?

alibbaba-how do you know I am making my friend feel bad? I am a very supportive friend if I werent why would I give a shit? My friend knows any advice I give her is out of concern for her health-as I happen to believe that is equally as important as the babys.

I offered her the use of my breast pump to see if baby would take some expressed milk so that her dh could shoulder some of the burden and let my friend catch up on sleep.

My friend was reluctant as first but after another month with literally no sleep-combination of baby and her being ill. She is now starting to give it a go and thanked me for gently bullying her-her words!-because it might give her a tiny bit of respite.

iheartmolly since I am the only one who seems to gave mentioned having mastitis on this thread, I'll assume you feel I'm a martyr. My point was that I am only too aware how hard the early days when BF can be, but later on it gets much better and easier and that even with the recurrent mastitis, it is by far the easiest and most convenient way for me to feed my baby. I say that having switched to FF my first 3DC pretty early on.

No sense of martyrdom from me. I don't feel I'm sacrificing anything, I'm taking the easy option. I'm not putting my health, my well ring or anything else at risk and I do not appreciate if people (not friends or family who know I am just fine) try to suggest 'solutions' where I don't feel there's any problem.

You can't judge all BF women by one, or even a few BF friends.

And what a pity you'd see feeding a baby as a 'burden'.

iheartmolly i'd suggest that your friend finds a lactation consultant to see if they can help. A friend of mine was finding that her baby had to feed every two hours day and night. The NHS lactation consultant made a small change to her latch and hey presto, baby now regularly goes 4 hours between feeds at night.

I don't believe anyone here has tried to make OP feel bad about her choices, they were just making sure that she appreciates the potential consequences, as they were unaware that OP has more than 1 child. there was no judgement on whether BF or FF is the 'right' thing, just information on the potential effects.

"if I had been able to do so I would have done it for longer" suggests reasons for your bitterness towards it....

Jeez, this is getting nasty. The OP asked about alcohol and breastfeeding. It was implied that she wanted to continue breastfeeding. It's not like anyone answered "Oh, don't worry, OP, carry on giving formula like you are with massive gaps between feeds and you'll be able to drink as much as you like in a few weeks because your supply will have packed up entirely"

Because that (whilst possibly true) would have been unkindly put.

Instead, OP got her question answered factually, and was also alerted to a very likely pitfall which she may or may not have been aware was jeopardising her breastfeeding outcome.

Those of you who feel she was lectured or judged - how do you think a better response might have been phrased? Do you think no one should have mentioned what she is doing may well end breastfeeding for her quite soon? She'd be posting on here a couple of months later asking "why the hell did no-one tell me whilst I still had a chance to fix it?"

Anyway, I guess she knows now, whether she asked for the information or not, it's hers for her to use as she wishes.

humptydumpty-no I not bitter about it at all. I breast fed for a period and then decided it wasnt for me.

I am not knocking bf at all as I know the benefits for babies-I just despise the martyrdom adopted by some bf mothers.

despise the "martyrdom"????

Blimey.

Here's an idea. Accept that for some mothers breastfeeding is important enough to them and they decide that they will battle through (their choice) what to you would be unacceptable challenges (your choice).

It's for every individual to choose what is bearable for them, wouldn't you agree?

Rather than be judged, negatively, for being a martyr, and accused, unpleasantly, of being smug?

I think you are bitter personally. Why else would you highly criticise mothers who are trying to do the best for their baby, and don't want to give in at the first sign of trouble.

Maybe you should congratulate your poor friend on breastfeeding for as long as she has and battling through her problems instead of criticising her and probably making her feel worse.

I personally am smug for breastfeeding. Not in a nasty or judgmental way towards anyone else in the slightest however, I am smug with myself because I found the first few months really tough and managed to get through it. I am proud of what I achieved.

Hopefully noone struggling with feeding will read your pathetic comments and make their situation harder.

Blimey! ..Since my last post this thread seems to have taken on a life of its own almost! [shocked] Really hope that there aren't any poor women suffering prolonged baby blues/PND who are struggling to breastfeed and have read this thread as it probably won't help!
Wasn't going to waste any more of my precious time posting again but just wanted to say a couple of things for those who are interested..(or not lol!)
Sitting here with a glass of wine as I type and have read a lot of the comments since my last..
metalelephant.. don't think you really read my original post as you seem to be under the impression I asked for advice on introducing formula and for general breastfeeding advice, which I didn't. (This thread just seemed to develop into a diversion away from the actual question asked!)
mollythemole...Thanks for understanding where I was coming from! I really don't feel like many on here have really read and understood what I've been trying to say, but you seem to get it! By the way, my routine now seems to be v similar to yours and I have a break from breastfeeding for approx 5hrs too, around the same kind of times and yes, (contrary to belief by some on this thread,) I have tried with a pump and don't get much more than a slim oz (if I'm lucky!) so that doesn't work for me. I feed around every 1.5hrs at the mo..(totally unsustainable at this pace when DH goes back to work) but at the mo am still taking it all a day at a time. :)
Iheartmolly... I totally agree with you and thanks for your support. :) There is far too much pressure on women to breastfeed now, (from many different sources,) and you are made to feel a failure by a lot of women if you don't.
Following some of the comments on here I raised the issue with my Facebook friends. I had a reply from a very old school friend, (who, as it turns out, was a breastfeeding counsellor in the past.) She was extremely tactful, sympathetic and sensitive in her advice to me..(the way I feel a counsellor should be,) and gave me some very good advice, the best of which being, (in my opinion..) "Do whatever works for you.. some breast is better than no breast and if topping up with formula keeps you with it longer than great! A happy mum means a happy baby!"
My other 3 children are very healthy and bright girls, (despite being bottle fed) and now I'm in a position where, being a busy mum of 3 (including an extremely bright and active toddler), and a business to run, (along with my home,) I sadly don't think I'll be able to devote the time required to establishing breastfeeding and certainly don't intend to run myself into the ground trying! I'll be miserable and so will everybody else! I will keep going for the next few wks at least and then baby's had some at least. :)

OP glad to hear you sounding more upbeat. FWIW I don't think anyone upthread has contradicted what you've just said in your lady post - noone's said that FF will stop your children from being bright, and I don't believe that anyone would disagree with "a happy mum means a happy baby". Importantly noone said that giving up BFing would make you a failure, they only pointed out that what you're doing may affect your ability to establish BFing if that's what you wanted to do. You don't though, which is fine-just disregard that bit of people's advice.

Your last post that is

Twogirls, it's true that your original question wasn't about formula per se, but those that answered pointed out that long gaps between feeds can have an adverse effect on breastfeeding. I saw those answers as recognising something that you may not have known, not as patronising or condescending.

I guess it's hard to pick up the sentiment of a piece of writing, and interpreting words rather than tone of voice or expression is tough, so you may have read the comments in an entirely different light to me... For the record, I believe we're all entitled to our opinions, but a rude and aggressive tone towards people that are trying to help riles me - that's not addressed to you by the way!

Ofcourse breastfeeding on demand can be tough, though "martyr" is not the word I would use - it implies that the mother is doing to make herself look good. For some of us, including myself its a need to share something that's far more than sustenance with your baby, and when it's not working it can feel devastating. It's not martyrdom, it's a valid emotion that goes beyond the nutritional aspects.

I hope it all works out for you, good luck with it all.

humptydumpty-"dont want to give in at the first time of trouble"-WOW and you accuse me of being nasty?

So women who decide bf is not for them are "giving in" are they? well lets hope someone who has struggled with bf and has "given in" doesnt read this thread eh? Might make them feel a tad shit about themselves

But thanks for re-enforcing my point about the smuggery.LOL.

Twogirls - Ive PM'd you

Twogirls1more, I really think people have been very kind to you on this thread. Helpful, courteous and informative.

You just sound more self righteous than any Breastfeeding woman I've ever come across.

Good luck with everything TWOGIRLS, what I wouldn't give for a glass of wine, I think you sound like you're doing amazingly, I have an 18 week old and haven't had any wine yet! I am permanently exhausted so don't think I dare have a glass.
Try not to take to heart any message, it's hard to hear tone in a text message, I am sure no one meant to lecture you, you genuinely sound like you're doing well, so just keep doing what you know is best ( sounds like you're mega experienced ).
Don't waste your energy arguing on here, go and have a glass of vino and chill out!