Extended bf when was the last time you fed outside and how did you feel about it?

[Singleandproud]

My DD is 2 I haven't fed her outside for probably 8 months or more simply because she was happy waiting till we got home. I never had any trouble feeding her out when she was younger I was quite happy to do it.

Today in Clarks she made a run for the door, I shouted out for her to stop and as I caught up with her to grab her my nail caught her face and scratched it a little. Anyway she went into complete hysterics and couldn't be soothed with any sort of distractions and was sobbing really badly I think I scared her when I shouted more then anything. I asked the sales assistant if there was somewhere I could feed her and she was brilliant took me in the back, grabbed a stool for me and left me to it.

I was quite surprised by my own reaction that I didn't really want to feed her in public due to knowing its unusual to feed a toddler.

So when was the last time you fed out and were you happy doing it or did you feel self concious?

hmm not for a while now, mostly because ds3 doesn't really ask much when we are out and about any more.
but i'd be happy enough to feed him if he did, he is 2.5 now

i think the last time i fed him out was at an LLL meet

dd3 is 2.5 and I can't remember the last time i fed in public. She mostlt feeds in bed (morning) and before bed (night). She has asked in the day but as I'm trying to wean gently I've said no.

Sadly I know I would feel self consious, one of myoldest and bestest friend (who struggled to bf) was horrified that ia was still feeding I stood my ground but it still got to me.

today at the park. DD is 2.8. I felt less than enthusiastic as it was cold and I didn't want my top riding up giving me a cold back. Other than that, fine. I doesn't bother me as it's far less intrusive than DD dive-bombing my bombs going 'I wan miiilk. I wan miiilk. I wan miiilk. Pleeeease. I wan miiiilk'

Can't remember to be honest but that's because we're down to twice a day - first thing in the morning and after his afternoon nap when he wakes up, but this is only if he is asleep in his cot. If he's fallen asleep in his car seat or pushchair then he doesn't appear to want a feed as there's more interesting stuff going on.

Although the other day, he asked for a feed on his way up to his nap so I said, no, sleep first then boobah. About 10 mins later over the baby monitor, I heard him talking into his toy phone and the conversation went thus: 'Hello, boobahs? See you soon. Bye' I can't believe he's rung for a take out!!!

sounds like ds3 wot! when we're going round the supermarket he likes nothing more than squeezing my boobs and shouting "nyim" at the top of his voice

I've had an Aunt tell me its disgusting and child abuse that I'm still feeding DD this was a few months ago but I've felt self concious about doing it in public ever since.

I just did on the train (enormous child, 2.10, looks 4. I don't like doing it in public, but I still choose to do it when he asks, totally understand why you feel uncomfortable though.

cairnterrie - that is hilarious!!

My DD is only 15 months, so barely extended BF I guess, but still BF at least 2/3 times a day when we are out. Last BF in public was on a bus sitting next to my dad and my tantrumming 3yr old! Didn't feel self consious at all, was just a relief to be able to keep my DD quiet for a while on the bus, as she hates bus rides.
I'm thinking i probably will be feeding her during the day for a few months yet as she really is a boobie monster. I hope I don't start feeling self consious though' Ive not had any negative comments yet.

What a dreadful, ill informed and frankly unreasonable thing to say! What business is it of hers??? I hope you told her where to go shove her opinions.

I think you're doing a wonderful thing for your child by continuing to feed her. I can however understand your reluctance to feed in public beyond a certain age - for me it was about 14 months, about the time she started walking. Somehow that made a difference for me - less of a baby then maybe? I'm still feeding her at bedtime and in the night as needed, she's 18 months now, which is significantly longer than I carried on with my others but she's happy, i'm happy so we'll stick with it until she doesn't need it any more.

Fed my ds (nearly 14mths) so not really extended, a couple of Sundays ago on the side of the football pitch, had been subed at half time and ds wasn't happy, so fed him until he had enough, then went back to playing the football match.

The rest of my team mates have got used to me feeding him now and no one else raised an eyebrow.

I don't know what the definition of extended bfing is, but DD (13 months) normally has 2 bfs a day, morning and evening and any in the night if required (rarely) I feed on demand at weekends and days off. The other day I took her for her MMR and booster jabs and bf'd her in the waiting room afterwards. I had taken a couple of hours off work to take her and was in uniform (a very recognizable public sector organisation) so it might have looked more incongruous that I was bfing my DD with my uniform blouse unbuttoned at the top, not the fact I was bfing a 13 month old iyswim!! And when I got back to work I realised my blouse was totally crumpled .

I have fed DD2 in public (well hospital waiting room) not too long ago and she is 3 but looks at least 5 (as big as or bigger than some of DD1's Y1 classmates). DD3 hasn't had a fed in public though for ages (possible same time frame but a different hospital area!).

DS2 is 20 months, and he is still fed anywhere and everywhere.

DS1 last fed in public when he was 4.5yo. This was an exception though because he was having a really, really hard time adjusting to ds2's arrival. It would have caused a huge scene not to have nursed him this particular time, and I don't think anybody even noticed that both he and ds2 were latched on!

I think he was probably around 3.5yo when we mostly stopped nursing in public. Not because I thought it was wrong, but more that he just didn't really ask.

I fed DS (2) outside at the playground a couple of weeks ago. When he turned 2 he went back to constant feeding whenever he got a bit stressed.

I did notice feeling more awkward and trying to hide it a lot more than I used to. I'm not sure which is worse though - the increasingly hysterical shouting for "bubbie, now!" or feeding him.

My DS2 is 17 months and feeds in public if necessary (maybe a few times a week). I am quite happy with it and would love to see some more bigger kids being NIP.

DS has just turned two, think it was sometime this week I last fed him in public. Since about September time I have started to feel anxious in some situations, and do sometimes refuse. I get frustrated with myself for feeling that way, as I know I feel like that because you don't see toddlers feeding in public, so by not doing it I am adding to the cycle. Tends to only be on the bus I refuse. I don't know why I feel anxious, I shouldn't! Am so proud of the fact we have continued for so long. Do wish people were more educated...

Glad to hear someone else say when their LO turned two that they changed back into a milk monster! DS seem7 surgically attached to me at the moment.

Probably when he was 2 ish? I have no idea. He's 3 now and only feeds first thing in the morning (and only then if he gets up first) and last thing at night. (I always saw people saying this and never quite believed it would happen for us!) so he doesn't tend to want it when we're out any more. If he hurts himself kissing it better works better these days.

When ds1 was around 16 months I think. I had a few raised eyebrows and red faces turn away at groups and started to feel awkward. No one ever said anything and I know I shouldn't have let it get to me.

It's only by seeing more people bf older babies and children that it will become a bit more normal... hopefully this time I'll be a bit braver!

DD1 is 3yo and I think the last time I nursed her in public was in a cafe last week. She doesn't often ask if we're out and about because she's distracted but she'd taken a tumble on the soft play.

Most of the time I feel OK about it but sometimes I do feel a bit self-conscious but I don't want her to think there's anything wrong with it so I just go for it. Like others have said, if more toddlers and pre-schoolers are seen nursing in public then it will become more normal. I do also think though that you can't tell if I'm nursing DD1, or that it just doesn't occur to people that I am because I've never noticed anyone staring or nudging their mates and pointing.

I've never had any criticism to my face but I think my grannies are both a bit and think I am bonkers. But they do it in a polite way so I just tell them that everyone does it now.

Hadn't fed ds1 for ages in public 3.5yr until we were on holiday this summer and he had got himself to the don't know what to do with myself phase. Don't think MIL was impressed, but he'd seen his dad fall badly the day before when it was just the 2 of him and was v clingy , as he was scared by the realisation parents can get hurt and tired. Still feed 16mnth old quite a lot. Friend at lll said that her toddler seeing other toddlers feeding validates it for him which is one of the reason she likes going. Quite used to MIL's reactions to public feeding , she has spent /wasted a lot of time being a respectable married woman think she is slightly confused it is not an aspiration of mine

DS is nearly 2 (but is huge & looks 3 or 4) and last fed yesterday about a million times at friends' house. (They come from the GF camp and had never encountered a child that old bf'ing, so that was interesting). He was scared by their children trying to cuddle him though, and was also under the weather and off his food.

He feeds in public at least once a day. If I sit down when out (church, toddler group etc) he always asks for milk.

I've managed to train myself not to care (mostly!). I do sometimes feel twitchy in front of friends, but that's more worrying about inadvertently exposing myself. Feeding him is definitely better than the screaming I get if I try to say no.

I do have friends with similar age children who would like to NIP but sadly feel embarassed to do so.

I get quite a few people smiling at me when DS feeds, and a number of friends who did bf but have stopped by this age have made positive comments.

DS feeds about 6-8 times in the daytime, but is getting less attached to it. He still wants milk if he's frightened or upset, but if he's hurt he wants it kissed better instead now.

ds2 is 4.6 now and still feeds every day or night though he can get to sleep without now.

He does sometimes want to feed in public but I try to avoid it, mainly because I feel very uncomfortable about it in terms of people's reactions. Many people think I am a freak or it is a freakish thing to do. So I am tired of this sort of reaction and just don't do it if possible.

I never intended to feed for this long so am not militant about it. it just happened as it was the easiest course of action and I couldn't see it was doing any harm.

I fed ds1 in public and was soon bludgeoned into submission by the masses and their criticism and funny looks and awful comments. I didn't have any fight in me after a few months. feeding in public is something I therefore avoid unless it's a straight up battle between embarrassment through feeding and embarrassment through a noisy, upset child.

We don't go out that much

That's sad, Jane :( Is there an LLL group near you, would you be comfortable feeding there? You'd be able to chat to other BF mothers and get out and about a bit more if that's what you want. There's a list of groups here.

I didn't expect to get this far either, my original goal was 6 months but like you, I didn't see the point in stopping because it's been easier not to. I wouldn't say I was militant about BF but I probably am militant about my DD1 getting what she needs when she needs it IYSWIM. I used to suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia a few years ago and it's taken me a while to build my self-confidence.

Thanks EauRouge, that is really kind of you. Nice to know there are other accidental longer term feeders out there

I'm mainly only feeding him at night now so it's no biggie any more. I should have said, we didn't used to go out that much, becasue truthfully I'd rather have been at home where I could feed him any old time than trying to do it in front of people who might make a fuss about it.

I also hated having visitors - particularly men - and having to feed in front of them. I just hated it. They always found it bizarre, and either had to maintain a 'I'm all for it love' kind of stance or just looked embarrassed and said nothing.

It's socially not something I find easy at all. I think if more people did it, it might be easier, but the thing is it is still fairly unusual even to breastfeed a small baby, let alone a 2yo, or 3yo so it's always like an 'issue' isn't it, whoever you are with. And I didn't want it to be an issue. People expected me to be militant about it but like you I'm not at all. They are my breasts, and yes I would rather be doing it in private, but sadly babies sometimes can't wait that long.

Yes I've carried on feeding at LLL groups much later than at other times with DS. It didn't feel like "feeding in public" to me.