Extended bf when was the last time you fed outside and how did you feel about it?

[Singleandproud]

My DD is 2 I haven't fed her outside for probably 8 months or more simply because she was happy waiting till we got home. I never had any trouble feeding her out when she was younger I was quite happy to do it.

Today in Clarks she made a run for the door, I shouted out for her to stop and as I caught up with her to grab her my nail caught her face and scratched it a little. Anyway she went into complete hysterics and couldn't be soothed with any sort of distractions and was sobbing really badly I think I scared her when I shouted more then anything. I asked the sales assistant if there was somewhere I could feed her and she was brilliant took me in the back, grabbed a stool for me and left me to it.

I was quite surprised by my own reaction that I didn't really want to feed her in public due to knowing its unusual to feed a toddler.

So when was the last time you fed out and were you happy doing it or did you feel self concious?

Thanks everyone, perhaps I will try a natural parenting group then. You all sound like just the sort of people I'd like to meet. Unfortunately I'm not in the SE though .

oh and thanks Truth for the website suggestions, and Eau I will email my local LLL leader to see if there are any weirdo breastfeeders in my area!

It's great to know there is support out there.

Where do you live thefudgeling? I am in Edinburgh if that's anywhere near?

Thanks for this thread. Makes me feel like i'm not unusual. DS is 16 months and is bf to sleep most nights as i'd rather that than CC.
I got told by someone in my anti natal group that I should put something distasteful in my boob so he would stop.
I just don't "go there" with her anymore.

I work ft and he always wants a feed when I get home. Most of the time I think we are reconnecting but sometimes I think "surely I mean more than boobs to you" but he's happy I'm happy except DP who gets his nipples tweaked a lot

I'm in the SW maw :(

Oh dear. SW is even further away from me that SE!

It really does make a difference to find like minded people to talk to. I hope you find some!!

Another accidental longer term feeder here :-)

I remember the first time I actively decided not to publicly feed my DS. I still feel rather guilty about it. We were on a continental train, in one of those small coupe's with 8 seats. DS was 18 months, and over-tired and distressed. I knew that he would fall asleep if I fed him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, with 7 people looking at us. All the attention was on him, and was affraid I would make my fellow passengers feel uncomfortable.

I want to be able to do this freely. (ds is 21 months)
I am pretty adept at 'discreet' breastfeeding (although I don't see this as necessary)
But I now avoid feeding in public because people can be unpleasant and I just don't want to feel vulnerable. I usually feed in front of people who I feel are supportive.

It's annoying that I should feel nervous and vulnerable because so many people have issues about something so normal.

I find people's queasiness is nothing to do with what they can actually see, it is the thought they can't deal with - the idea that a bigger baby still needs breastmilk.

I had no problems when the babies were smaller, though.

At the hippie breastfeeding group I used to go to, nearly everyone used slings, co-slept, followed positive parenting, did baby signing - and vaccinated. We regularly joked about the "found themselves in Goa with a map knitted from public hair" type parents Go along to one and give it a go. If you don't enjoy it, you can leave early and not go again.

Oh several of us in the Snuth east, obvious the most popular place for lentil weaving

Which is strange as my town has a real 'chavvy' reputation (not my opinion) but there is a hard core of us lentil weavery knit your own breast milk yogurt types though I do get odd looks with DD2 is a sling (she's 4 today!). Her legs hurt so what!

My daughter's just over 14 months and I breastfeed her, but since 9 months old she's only wanted it first thing in the morning and last thing at night so I never need to feed her in public now. I suppose if we were out for the evening with her i would of course, but we have a bedtime routine and she's in bed by 7:30 most nights and I usually go to bed around 9 myself so evenings out just aren't something we do at the moment. Part of the problem is that breastfeeding in general still isn't all that common, but also many babies stop wanting breastfeeds during the daytime before they reach 12 months, so that's why you don't see many women breastfeeding older kids. Of course many women are also at work during the day time too, so even if they are still breastfeeding at night/morning you wont necessarily see them doing it. I have had some incredulous reactions from friends and colleagues f I've mentioned that I'm still breastfeeding, and my LO is still only 14 months, so I can well imagine some people's reactions of the child is older. All I can say is that you don't need to justify it. You know what's right for you and your child, whether you are doing it for the health and nutrition benefits for your child, or just for comfort it gives them, it's a wonderful gift for a Mother to give to her child and the bond that develops from doing it is something to be celebrated too! Sod anyone who doesn't understand that!

DS (currently 4.8) had what we both thought at the time was going to be his last ever feed in a horrible emergency admissions ward at our local hospital a few months back, me very ill and very scared, and both of us in floods of tears because we'd never spent a night apart before and he didn't want me to stay in. Two weeks later, when I got out of hospital, he decided that he absolutely HAD to see if the mambo was still there...and it was! I thought we were done - was sad about the context of the last feed but also felt that it was time. He, however, had other ideas and is back to mambo every bedtime and sometimes first thing in the mornings as well, and loudly declares at every opportunity that he's never going to stop ever ever.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable feeding him in public now though. He hasn't asked for well over a year, thinking about it - the last time I can recall was when he was knocked flying by a swing last August at 3.5, and nobody in the very busy park batted an eyelid. I suspect they would now though, especially if he was in school uniform! He's tall for his age and most people think he's at least 6.

verylittlecarrot - When I did b/f in public I never had any comments except from some over 60s (male and female) remarking on how wonderful it was so see a woman breastfeeding and what a wonderful thing it was I was doing for my child! However, I stopped needing to feed in public around 9 months so perhaps it would ave been different if I was still b/f-ing during the daytime. I'm quite shocked though to read that you actually get comments from total strangers, that's awful. Completely none of their business too. Probably the same people who tut at crying children in shops or tut and when a child drops something or screams - idiots!

I think some people may find breastfeeding embarrassing in the same way that teenage boys (and some not very mature men) generally find women's breasts embarrassing (yet strangely fascinating). In which case you can completely ignore them, as their weird hang-ups are their problem, not yours. It's possible that some (wrongly) think extended breastfeeding delays child development, in that breastfeeding keeps them at the baby stage or something, but of course your child will have all the usual milestones regardless of whether you're still breastfeeding or not. And it's NOT bad for children's teeth either - there is NO evidence to suggest that argument.

I bfed DS on an easyjet flight last week - he's 2.2. DH is pretty keen for me to stop bfing, as we are expecting DC2, but I can't be bothered! I like my 15 minutes of peace every now and then when DS chooses to feed! We are pretty much down to 1 definite feed a day now though, as the bedtime feed was doing my head in, so he just has his 'milk pleeeeeease?' 1st thing in the morning, and then I will occasionally feed him in the afternoon so I can sit down for a few minutes!

recently he has been asking to nurse more, but can be fobbed off with a cup of cows milk most of the time. I am still in 2 minds about tandem nursing as well, one one hand it seems like a great idea, but on the other, I'm not sure how I'd feel about an enormous toddler on one boob and a teeny newborn on the other. We shall see!

I am another accidental extended feeder - I originally said '6 months' then '1 year' then '2 years' :o poor DH - he was totally supportive until 2 months ago :o

I don't go to a LLL group, but I do go to a busy slingmeet locally, and it's fab - nobody tries to feed their breasts through the little appertures in bf tops, it's hoicking boobs over the top or underneath, and plenty of EBF going on. I feel very comfy there! And incidentally, though I suspect there are a fair few anti-vaxers and so on, I've never felt uncomfortable about being pro-conventional medicine. It's just nice to go somewhere where cosleeping seems to be the norm, and not feel like the token freak in the corner!

'I am another accidental extended feeder - I originally said '6 months' then '1 year' then '2 years''

Lol, thats exactly what I did! Then at 2 he still seemed very little so I said defintely by 3! and we've now weaned at 3.2. DH has been saying 'but you have to stop one day' since DS was about 9 months (I've always said 'definitely - it'd be soooo inconvenient when he's at Uni'), but overall has been supportive. :)

Our town has the opposite reputation to yours, Truth - we're well posh.

IMO it's easier if you do more than one thing that's not the norm. e.g. we co-sleep, did BLW (and waited till 6 months to start too) and occasionally use a sling. All of those are Just Plain Weird according to virtually everyone I know (apart from my hippy natural parenting friends). So people I know put my bf'ing a 2-year-old down to me being a weird hippy type and don't think any more of it.

I sometimes think I get over-sensitive. I do sometimes feel twitchy about feeding a child who looks about 4 in public, but actually, it's only people I know well who've been vaguely negative. I often get older ladies and other mothers smile at me, and yesterday I fed DS in full view of the supermarket checkouts and a middle-aged man gave me a nice smile.

It's the same way that people smile at us when we're just walking around chatting away to each other. I suspect most of them just think, "Isn't it nice to see a little boy having a lovely cuddle with his mum". My guess is that anyone who feels like tutting would just look away if they realised what I was doing (or would be intimidated by me smiling at them first! :))

At any rate, I've only ever once seen another toddler bf'ing around here and DS feeds in public at least once every day, so I've had plenty of opportunities to come across disapproval - and haven't ever yet.