One thing after another, why is it never easy for me :(

[Lollyheart]

I find breast feeding soooo hard.

I've got four dcs, dc1 I fed for two days before giving up and moving to formula, dc2 I gave up after a week.
I was determined with dc3 not to give up,he spent his first week of life in the scbu because of juandice and not feeding,he took 5 weeks to latch on so was mix fed until about 15weeks, countless times of mastitis, in the end I fed him until he was two.

Roll on to dc4, wouldn't latch on at birth so was cup fed ebm, latched on on day two, all was going well until my nipples became cracked and bleeding, I began expressing into a bottle for him to give my nipples time to heal, Ive been seeing a bfc to help with latch etc, she thought he might have a tongue tie, which he had snipped yesterday, now he won't latch on at all, just screams when I put him near the breast.
He is even having trouble latching onto the bottle since yesterday.

I'm at my wits end, I just want to enjoy the newborn stage as I know they grow up to fast.

Sorry this is long, I just needed to rant.

didn't want to read and run -Can't advise but can totally sympathise - had the most bad luck with my little girl who is 10 weeks old today, really really close to giving up, the guilt is unbearable.
Hope you find some help somewhere - I am now mostly bottle feeding but trying desperately to cling t one or two feed a day, been trying to rely on the bottles less but it is so hard! Managed to drop a bottle feed a few times but she is so hungry and I also find it really hard too.
someone will be along soon with some 'real' advice.
Try not to feel too bad about it - baby needs a healthy, happy mummy and food - where it comes from isn't the main issue.

ps - your title called to me as it is exactly the sort of thing I would post... You also sound like you have been through a lot, give your self a break and take a deep breath!