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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Has anyone actually been challenged re BFing in public?

60 replies

Georgimama · 15/10/2011 22:29

Was visiting family today and DN asked me whether anyone had ever had a go or commented negatively on me BFing in public. Maybe I have a particularly fuck off kind of look about me, but I have BF in museums, restaurants, shops, on park benches,in waiting rooms and basically up and down the country and no one has ever said a word. Does this actually happen?

OP posts:

deviladvocate · 15/10/2011 23:21

when feeding in a restaurant in france the waitress was incredulous that i was a) still feeding DD1 and b) doing it in public - baby was only 9 months old....

not had any issues in UK, despite feeding everywhere you could imagine. Some people have come up to me to say how 'brave' they thought i was being to feed in public

AGreatBalancingAct · 15/10/2011 23:23

Never had any negative comments and have fed lots out and about. But had lots of lovely comments about how nice it is to see, especially from older generation.

1catherine1 I think Equality Act gives protection whatever the age of the baby...

Bonanzamelons · 15/10/2011 23:24

Same experiences for me too - mostly either got ignored or people were nice about it. I did have one experience that stayed with me though - an older gentleman was looking at me and my friends through the window of a pottery cafe as there were about six of us sitting in a row with our new babies. He was waving and cooing and pointing out the babies to his companions and then he suddenly realised we were all breastfeeding and he rapidly switched from admiration to mortification. I might be reading too much in to it but it seemed like he was horrified that we might think he had been pointing out the breastfeeding rather than the babies....After that, I became a lot less discrete so it would be obvious I was feeding as opposed to just cuddling the baby.....

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 15/10/2011 23:24

Never. I have bf four in public and no one has said a word to me.

I am well hard though

MrsChemist · 15/10/2011 23:26

Nope, closest I've had was an old lady I got chatting to a few days ago, and she said, "well they say breast is best don't they, but I bottle fed my two and they're fine."

She didn't say it in a snide way,just as if she were musing aloud. Everyone else either couldn't give a shit, or are positive about it.

If anyone were to say anything, I'd ignore them. It's their problem and I'm doing nothing wrong.

SurprisEs · 15/10/2011 23:26

No. But I did have a perv following me down the road commenting on my breasts. It was scary but what really annoyed me was that my breast wasn't visible at all! DD 's head and very furry huge hood were in front.

Maryz · 15/10/2011 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eragon · 15/10/2011 23:33

I fed all of my 4 kids for years, and no one ever said anything to me.
had more problems with my own mother, who was horrified when i tried to feed my first in a resturant while shopping. she stood up and held a the baby blanket up in front of me. and encourage me to feed him in the loo.

it took me a while to just carry on and calmly ask her to sit down, and stop waving the blanket like a bloody flag.

my dad would leave the room if it even looked like i was going to feed a baby.

my grandmother thought i was being disgusting feeding past three months.

but hey if i could ignore all that, any stranger approaching me wasnt gonna give me any trouble.

I am so glad i saved sooo much money by not buying formula. it was the only reason i tried with my first. I was good at the breastfeeding, once i got the hang of it, was crap at other parenting stuff though.....

AnxiousElephant · 15/10/2011 23:44

No, never I only ever had people coming up to me saying she looked contented, bouncing, etc. and that I should keep up the good work

AnxiousElephant · 15/10/2011 23:45

Just seen the post under mine, I also had more problems with my DPs

startail · 15/10/2011 23:46

No, I BF DD2 all over the place including a wedding and a funeral.
Last time I remember feeding her in public was at her sisters going to school meeting so she'd have been 18 months.
After that she was just to tall to fit on my lap without her legs going everywhere.
She carried on feeding in PE are for a great many more years, but either lying next to me in bed or across by lap on the sofa. By the time she gave up she was tall enough simply stick her head up my T-shirt when we were both standing up - that would have got in public

babycham42 · 15/10/2011 23:47

I once sat on a not very private bench to feed DD1 as she was screaming the place down and I couldn't face getting to somewhere indoors,to find I was right outside some offices with the whole workforce turning out.
Not one single person even responded with so much as a facial tic.There were a lot of smiles (nice ones).I think people maybe felt that I suddenly was putting on a very public display unintentionally and were very sensitive towards this.

startail · 15/10/2011 23:47

How private became PE I cannot fathom

Hungrydragon · 15/10/2011 23:54

Actually I can be really naughty as I have a nc at the moment and my profile isn't open. My SIL has more than once expressed distaste that dd 22m is still BF. The irony is she is a SW, specialising in children at risk.

You don't know how good that feels to get ghat out

Yama · 15/10/2011 23:58

No, and I saw it as my duty to breastfeed in public as much as possible.

Seeing others breatfeed when I was pregnant normalised it for me. It was absent during my childhood.

AngelDog · 15/10/2011 23:59

Only by a confused 5 year old who had been told that bm was only for babies who were too young to drink cow's milk.

I still bf my huge 21 m.o. in public.

tiktok · 16/10/2011 00:10

It's a myth the law only protects you for harrassment up to a certain age.

There is no upper limit :)

1catherine1 · 16/10/2011 00:15

Looks like I was misinformed... sorry for spreading the myth , Trust you MNs to set me right! Feel quite reassured as I'm not ready to give up BF in public yet.

tiktok · 16/10/2011 00:18

Quite a good explanation here:

www.babiesnappies.co.uk/2008/07/20/breastfeeding-in-public-the-laws-made-clear

no upper limit, no law against bf, full protection against harrassment :)

PessimisticMissPiggy · 16/10/2011 00:33

I've never been challenged. I have been asked on two occasions if I'd like to go into a private area to BF. Surprisingly one was at my Sure Start Centre (I shit you not) and the other was at a wedding venue by a member of staff. both times I said I was very happy where I was and thanked them for their concern with a forced smile.

My sister would never BF in public and would return to her car if she needed to feed her kids. When I was pregnant she asked me if I was going to be 'one of those weirdos that whip their boobs out in Starbucks?' I just laughed and explained if I didn't go topless on a beach, why on earth would I make a song and dance out of feeding my baby? I've fed in a Starbucks (other coffee chains are available) in front of her now and she agrees that it can be done discreetly.

The wedding venue had been approached by another BF mother who wanted a private area. They said that they'd put two chairs in the gap between doors to the disabled toilets and made a sign to be put up to say 'Breastfeeding mother, please come back later' when the area was in use. I didn't use it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2011 05:51

Never, although I have had the opposite. DD was playing with a fake baby bottle and someone said, "how does she even know what that is?". She is 10 months and has a bottle once a day (BF and solids as well). I live in lentil-weaving central, though.

TheyCallMeKipper · 16/10/2011 07:01

No. Although when ds1 was tiny and I didnt know I could do it anywhere, I asked a young waitress if I could bf in a cafe, and she said 'Well yes - if you're comfortable with it and don't mind doing it here' in a 'OMG, how could anyone contemplate doing that' kind of way. So of course I did

But no, never any comments and I bf everywhere, including on a tiny open air minature train the other day which truely was (due to extreme balancing issues) advanced bfing . The only place I've ever felt actually uncomfortable was at pil's house.

Original poster

Georgimama · 16/10/2011 07:30

We should turn this into an extreme ironing thread - extreme BFing, where have you done it?

Thank you for all your responses so far I am so glad so few people have been challenged - the only comments I have had were positive but I have felt sorry for a couple of old men who have come up to admire the baby and then realised I was feeding. I wasn't embarrassed but they were.

OP posts:

HarbingerOfBoom · 16/10/2011 07:44

No. Never heard a negative word and have been feeding dd anywhere and everywhere for 18 months. I live in an area where breastfeeding is quite unusual too. I once had to explain to a small child what I was doing, but that is it.

I have had lots of positive comments though

PeggyCarter · 16/10/2011 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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