what to do at one year

[domesticungoddess]

My DD will be 1 next month. She eats three solid meals a day-combination of finger food and me spooning in mushed up stuff. I am BF her when she wakes up 5-6 am, then mid morning, mid afternoon, bed time, when I lift her at 10pm and if she wakes up in the night (usually once, she has slept through maybe 10 times in her life).

She doesn't nap in the day in bed, tried everything, only on the move (carrier, pram, car etc). She will occasionally nap in a dark room on me during the mid morning feed.

I have only ever managed to get her to sleep at night on the breast. She falls asleep sucking then I place her, asleep, in her cot.

I go back to work part time mid November (when she is 13 months) but am a doctor still in a training job so will have to do some long days 8am-8.30pm and some nights 8pm-8.30am.

I would have loved to keep BF. I am very sad about the prospect of stopping (lots of tears). But don't know if it is possible to carry on with a shift pattern type job and still BF her.

I am going to try and cut out the two day feeds this month and I don't think the feed when she first wakes up would be a problem to stop. She will take water and full fat milk from a sippy cup. We have be practicing at meal times. She has never tried a bottle.

What sould I do ??????? HELP.

Can I carry on BF am and bed time when I work shift.

What shall I do about bed time if she is not BF. Should I give her a sippy cup at bed time or a bottle? Formula (she has never tasted it so don't know if she will like it) or full fat milk.

Could I get my hubby to give her a sippy cup to bed when I am not there and then BF when I am.

If I am on long days at a weekend I will work 8am-8.30 pm fri, sat and sun so will not see her for three days (believe me this is going to kill me) so would my milk dry up.

I'm very confused.

I love BF.

Oh and how the hell am I going to get her to sleep without my boobs.........

I think I've got myself in a mess here.

Hi domestic

Congratulations on getting to one year. I am a doctor too (but have decided to take a career break while my children are small), so I have some understanding of what your work pattern will be like.

At 12 months my DS was very similar to your DD, only sleeping on the move or after a feed (and at night wanted to feed A LOT).

Firstly, your really do not need to give her formula at all, she can go straight to cow's milk in a sippy cup, thereby avoiding bottles and she can continue to receive expressed milk if you can manage to express some. Work is obliged to give you tome and a space to do so (I think - will have to check up on the rules over 1 year). You will be able to continue bf fro the breast her when you are with her and will probably need to express for your own comfort if away for very long periods of time (like the 3 days over the weekend). But your supply is locally controlled by now and so should respond readily to demand at the breast. Some good info here on lactogenesis.

Sleep is harder, and you and DH will have to work out what will work best for your family. My DS is (finally) night weaned and DH does bed time most nights with reading and a cuddle to sleep. For naps, I still take him out in the pushchair or car or very, very occasionally feed to sleep. What type of childcare will your DD be in during the day? Might they be flexible? I've heard that many nurseries will try to accommodate the individual child and take them for walks etc if needed for naps.

I think you will be fine feeding her when you're with her, and whoever else looks after her giving her cow's milk in a cup.

If you want to help her fall asleep on her own, have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution book?

You will be able to carry on - honest! With the going to sleep, my LO always feeds to sleep, but on the nights I am not here, my OH puts her to bed following same routine - offers her a Dr Brown bottle with milk, but could use sippy cup, and actually she settles fine - probably becuase she can't smell my milk.

You've still got quite a lot of time to prepare - I would try and cut down to three feeds a day - I feed mine a lot more than she needs during the day, becuase I just shove boob at her whenever she grizzles slightly - she is fine when left with my Mum or OH if they give her full fat milk instead.

I would also start waking her slightly before she goes to sleep so she gets used to not being on the boob - do you use a dummy?

regarding the night waking - my OH has to go through to her or she just won't settle. It has taken us about a week to get her to sleep better, and then she was set back by teething.

Oops, posted too soon

Eizabeth Pantley has some good techniques to try and break the breast/boob sleep solution in a gentle way, which you may find useful. And Jay Gordon's method of night-weaning for co-sleepers might be of use to you. We tried several night weaning methods as DS's night feeds were really wearing me down, and although he's still a restless sleeper (never slept through yet - at 20 months) Dr Jays worked best, but modified and only around 17 months.

On the other hand, you may find that continuing to feed her at night when you are therem is the easiest way to 'reconnect' with her.

The more time I sound being a mum, the more I believe that we all muddle through and find what is best for our DC and families as long as we listen to our own instincts. Be confident to go with the flow, adjusting things where and if they need to be and trusting your relationship with your child. You will all be fine. Don't feel forced into weaning, if you don't feel that it is what is right for you.

Finally, I am reading Mothering Your Nursing Toddler currently and it is really helping me feel more comfortable with mine and DS's relationship. It is really does talk a lot about following one's instincts and determining for oneself what is right regarding continued nursing.

Good luck.

Lots of good ideas here.

For sleep without bf, you could try a pram rocker. Inmaculada Concepcion on here said it worked for her daughter (aged about 9-12 months IIRC) who before that would only sleep whilst in a continually moving pram. If you search the archives there's a post where she says which brand she has - it might have been a different one from the one above.