Dreading going back to work - two issues. 1: can I avoid expressing and 2: how will dh ever be able to put ds down for a nap?

[Gincognito]

Sorry for the long title :)

I'm going back to work in a month and am working myself into a bit of a state about it. My ds will be 11 months old and has always been a very frequent and enthusiastic breast feeder.

The first issue is that he won't take a bottle. I am also keen not to express for various reasons. I'm going into a new role and don't want to be popping off to the expressing room several times a day. I have also only managed to express on only a very few occasions. Lastly I have a tendency to cover myself in milk every time . Can I get away without it? Do they adjust?

The other thing that's bothering me is that, short of growing a pair of boobs, I can't see how dh is ever going to get ds to nap on the days they're at home together. At the moment I lie down with ds and feed him to sleep. Any ideas or fantastic success stories?

Can only post quickly as dealing with an awake DD but I went back to work when she was 7 months and an regular breastfeeder. I only had to express a couple of times to ease pressure in the middle of the day.

DH stays at home with DD and gets her to nap without having to feed her and has got her to take milk from a sippy cup.

As hard as it is try not to fret as these things do work out.

Will try and post some more later if DD allows (sleep issues seperate to work )

If you feed DS morning, when you get in from work and before he goes to bed then he'd probably be getting enough milk that you don't need to worry too much about whether he gets any by day. If he feeds at night he'll definitely be getting enough milk, if he doesn't maybe you could express before you go to bed and he could have that from a cup during the day? You will adjust to producing what you need at the right times but you might need plenty of breast pads to get through the adjustment period.

When I went back to work I worried about how my mum would get DS to sleep, she worked out she could do it by pushing him in the buggy until he dropped off and then parking him up so she could get a rest too. Your DH will find his own way and it will work, even if the first few days are a bit fraught for everyone. Has he ever tried rocking or cuddling DS to sleep? It's a useful skill for him to have if you fancy an evening out at any point as well.

Pogo, thanks, I look forward to hearing how your dh does this!

PelvicFloors, nighttime feeding is not an issue as we co-sleep - I'm hoping he will reverse cycle to some extent and get the milk he needs then. As long as we're not up half the night (she says eyeing Pogo suspiciously :o)

Oh, and no, he's never tried putting ds to bed! Feeding just works so well...

If you're not bothered by night time feeding then I'm sure your DS will be fine with just having food and water by day and getting his milk later.
Feeding is an easy option but I think it is useful for dads to have an option for bed time as well. From about 5 months we used to take it in turns putting DS1 to bed, on DP's nights I'd feed DS but keep him awake and then DP used to cuddle him until he went off and I think that snuggle time was really good for both of them. It may take a while for DS to adjust if he's only ever fed to sleep but well worth it. DP often used to fall asleep as well and I'd eventually hear snoring over the monitor and go and retrieve him (and occasionally take a photo for the family album which he'd complain about when he woke up).

At this age, your DS will be fine feeding only when you are at home.

I feel the same as you about expressing and didn't express when I returned to work after having DD. However, I ended up with mastitis as a result so would recommend that you do express if only during your lunch break so you don't get too engorged. Your supply will adjust quickly though.

Your DH will be able to get your DS to sleep. When your DS is with you, he will cry for your milk because he knows you have it! He also knows that your DH doesn't have it so will be happy to go to sleep being cuddled as long as his belly is full (try porridge!). My DD fusses like hell when she is with me as she wants to feed and feed but when my DH is holding her, she makes no fuss at all and goes to sleep straight away...

Hope this helps.

My DS would never go to sleep being cuddled by DH and he's 20 months and getting closer to self-settling all the time.

DH rocks him in the rocking chair till asleep, then puts him down, or bounces him up & down in his arms, or uses the sling or pushchair. DS does find it harder to go to sleep with DH though, and when I'm out in the evening and DH puts him to bed, I'll occasionally get home to find DS still up as he hasn't been able to go to sleep without me. Most of the time DH manages it though.

AngelDog I think I have one of the same variety! When did things start to improve for you?

Ds has always been a poor sleeper, was very unsettled as a tiny baby and is still very sensitive to noise, movement, anything and everything really. I can't imagine him going down for dh, I really can't. The only time he sleeps for dh is in the sling, out and about. I suspect they are going to do a lot of walking when I go back to work! At some point that's going to stop working though. Ds is a big boy and getting very heavy to carry for long periods.

What I really want is to spend more time at home with him :( Dh is not supportive of this though.