5 things I wish I'd known before I started breastfeeding

[twinklegreen]

just reflecting really.

What things do you wish you'd known before you had your baby?

Mine are;

1. the tingling sensation when you get a let down, as it describes in the books, can actually be quite toe-curling, and is completely normal.

2. It can take up to 7 days for your milk to come in.

3. the REAL experts in breastfeeding hold IBCLC or Breastfeeding counsellor training. Midwives and HV's often have very little training (Even sometimes if they are an infant feeding co-ordinator) and often give out incorrect or out of date information and advice. :(

4. You should try to feed your baby as soon as possible after birth, not wait until someone gives you permission. :)

5. The smell of EBF baby's poo is actually quite addictive

Anyone else?

1. You can get thrush in your nipples. And it hurts. But you may be able to get through it, given the right help (and go on to BF for what feels like forever!)

2. You don't have to give up BF if you go back to full-time work at six months.

3. People will say all sorts of bonkers things to you ('are you STILL breastfeeding?' 'breastfed babies don't get chest infections' 'it's selfish because no-one else can feed the baby') but although you were previously something of a pushover, you can learn how to give a good deathstare.

4. It's the ultimate in multi-tasking - you can watch telly, read, mumsnet etc. Ah, blissful moments.

5. Although you often don't feel like it in real life for risk of feeling smug, you can feel quietly proud of yourself for doing it. I'm a bit of a failure overall as a mother, but it's one thing I've done well (not being smug - am lucky to have had the support etc).

• that not all babies open their mouths when you stroke their cheek/jaw.

• that Tongue Tie can mean BFing can be excruciatingly painful even when it looks like you are 'doing it right' and that most HCPs wouldn't recognise it.

• that lactation consultants existed and would be my saviour.

• that not everyone feels the let down or gets leaky boobs and it doesn't mean you have a supply problem if you don't.

• that I would get so much support from some wonderful MNers when things looked at their bleakest. (thank you, I don't believe I would be breastfeeding DD now if it weren't for you)

So true Speedy - I had choc cheese cake AND cherry bakewell with custard yesterday and am still losing weight. [smug emoticon]

Love your tips Poppet - my experiences exactly.

oh and a sneaky sixth

• not all babies come off the breast when they are full and that you might have to learn when to take them off or sit there all day long.

Can't believe nobody's mentioned Lansinoh. A midwife told me to put it on before and after every feed (it's safe for the baby) and I didn't have a minute of pain or discomfort, even though I'd been terrified and seen so many friends and my sisters in absolute agony. Maybe I was just very lucky, but the two friends from my NCT group who were struggling tried it too and their problems disappeared. It's expensive if you buy it (about £10 for a small tube) but your GP can prescribe it so you get it free. Agree about the milk leaks too, never had that, and I definitely wasn't feeding all day at all - in fact, I used to feel sorry for my bottle-feeding friend because it took her so much longer. Maybe my baby was a greedy guts!

1. Not every baby conforms to the norm. My DD only feeds for minutes at a time & has never taken the full 'mouthful' of boob, just the nipple. Weight gain's fine, works for us.

1. If you really want to BF, you will most probably have to go through a dark patch for the first few weeks. Feels awful at the time, but by 8 weeks it will be a distant memory...so worth it! Love never having to sterilise/make bottles up/run out of milk/get out of bed

1. 'EEEwwwww, that's disgusting' will be uttered by some, esp. if you feed past 12 months. It's not, don't listen.

1. There's loads of brilliant help out there, I found my local Surestart BF group invaluable.

1. I got a free wristband for doing it, neat huh?!

I felt like I was fairly prepared for BFing but wish I had known/done

1. That someone really can help so so much just by talking you through a feed over the phone. Would have called a helpline so much earlier if I'd realised how helpful it could be, but just couldn't see how they could help without looking

1. Not been too polite to demand a doctor prescribe those tablets for thrush (which I now forget the name of) for quite so long

1. That if you do have leaky boobs always put a spare top for yourself in the changing bag as well as spare clothes for baby, especially if visiting your office!

1. That leaky boobs would go on so long and that it would have been worth splashing out on really good quality comfortable washable breast pads (I will be buying a whole aray to try next time round and buing a whole bunch of whatever is nicest no matter what the cost, they will get well used!)

1. Probably been said a million times, but that cluster feeding in the evenings is normal and it is fine to spend all evening with a LO attached instead of wondering why they are crying and thinking they can't possibly want feeding again.

• that not all babies cry or even wake up when they need to be fed. My LO was very small and skinny when he was born a few weeks early and didn't have the energy to cry to be fed very often. All of the advice that I had received antenatally had been to feed on demand and not to worry if the baby didn't drink much because they have a stomach the size of a walnut. My DS just slept lots and because of this advice I wasn't worried and just left him to it. Result: lots of weight loss and Drs and MWs advising me to give FF top ups

• that when DH offers to do the night feeds with EBM / FF to give me a rest, his good intentions actually cause me more problems with milk supply.

• that nipple shields are worth a try if the baby can't latch on properly

• that mix feeding is not a failure

• that lactation consultants even existed. I have never met one but would definitely seek one out if I had problems with feeding a future baby.

• there are no hard and fast rules. its a true working relationship, you and baby, and you've got to figure it out together

• ditto on the washable breast pads. seven months in and keeping ASDA in business through boob pad purchases alone :)

• weight charts are there to scare the crap out of you. if your baby is gaining weight, alert and well then that's enough.

• when your boobs stop pouring milk it doesn't mean you've got a supply problem. equally, a baby CAN empty a boob in approx 6mins

• you need to eat LOADS and drink a lot

• expect comments once you get beyond the magic 6 months and are still Bfing

• expressing in a loo at work isn't actually that bad, esp. if you take a paper!

loved it, loved it, loved it, fed three and never had a problem. Did prepare my breasts ante natally with the first, in 1975, [ I know this isn't advised now but I'm convinced it helped me, both with getting used to handling my breasts and 'toughening up' my nipples,..after 34 /52 though] Later on, as a midwife, experienced dozens of women who just didn't want to do it...it's not a crime. Good Luck, no one ever told me about the sleep deprivation, take any help you can get, you can never get this precious time back again.

Its a great way to get a quiet, contented, sleeping baby when you need to make a phonecall!

Re discreet feeding - I found wearing a loose cami type vest underneath the best- my boob could come over the top of the cami whilst I lifted the outer garment up (sounds complicated but isn't!). Its means no tummy/back on show and virtually no boob. People often didn't even know I was b feeding. Had 3 or 4 in diffent colours to go best with whatever I was wearing on top (black t shirt, black cami etc).M&S do cheap cami's in multi packs. Loads cheaper than buying maternity/feeding tops.

That people are incredibly supportive, on the whole.

I had to feed DD in the supermarket last weekend - just propped her on the handle of the trolley and went for it. An elderly woman approached me and I have to admit I thought oh God, here we go.... But she smiled at me and said that is MARVELLOUS to see, and we had a chat about how she'd never believed that babies only needed to be fed every four hours, as was the wisdom when she'd had hers.

I can't really add much to the excellent tips here . It's such a shame that so many people have found their HVs to be poorly trained about breastfeeding. People with little knowledge can do so much damage by propogating myths or failing to recognise where a situation can be readily improved . Since getting rid of their specialist advisers, the current Government's main national breastfeeding policy seems to be to increase HV numbers and somehow that will sort out all the support breastfeeding mothers need .

Great thread - I would now ask any HV or MW whether they have actually bf a baby. Lots of rubbish advice out there. I'm still pissed off that a MW took my baby and gave 2 bottles of formula and did not tell me!

God I meant lots of rubbish advice!

Right I meant lots of poor advice out there, IMO from some MW's and HV's.

Great advice on this thread!

Obviously I need more sleep!

Rose that's disgusting did you complain, how did you find out?

camillisan )sp) made from camomile flowers is a fantastic thing for keeping your nipples and breasts soft as well. you can get it from boots-It doesn't have the horrible taste of lamisoh so you don't have to wipe it off everytime you bf as your baby doesn't like the smell/taste (or the smell and taste of baby wipes:)

1. that it can be painful for weeks (curling toes and silent screaming type pain), even if there's apparently nothing wrong with your latch. I must just have had very delicate nipples or something!
2. that a fast let-down can be a proper nightmare. I've never had the feeding for comfort/relaxing feed - it was always an acrobatic, fighting, screaming nightmare resulting in horrendous colic and a miserable baby
3. that it can take up to 5 months to "establish" bfing and for supply to settle down, and for the baby to stop going through regular patches of flatly refusing to feed
4. once established, it can be lovely, even if DS likes to feed with his index finger stuck in my mouth, and give me the occasional chomp with his shiny new teeth
5. that getting good support is completely essential. I would never have made it this far (nearly 9 months) without my local NCT bfing support group

oh and 6. it can take over 7 months to get more than 2 hrs sleep at a time....

I failed with my first as I assumed it was just a case of whacking baby on and that was it, after about a week I was in so much pain and baby so hungry we did give up.:(
With no:2 I looked into it much more and was much more determined I guess too, hes 20 mths and still feeding. For about the 1st 2 mths I had trouble with his latch, and don't know how many ppl I asked for help, in the end I let him latch himself on and that was it, sorted!

Ro62, at least five people had already mentioned Lansinoh, including me, and I would just reiterate that although it claims to be totally hypoallergenic it is still possible to be allergic to it!

Drink lots of water like they tell you!!! I have been breastfeeding consecutive babies for 3.5 years now, and am sure my skin has suffered. It's difficult to remember or make time, but I blame not drinking enough for all the bloody wrinkles. Sleepless nights prob don't help...

Yep looking back, with a health visitor Mum, for me it was TINA. But I have a high pain threshold and was all soppy about my babies and let No1 maul me - got mastitis with DS (a real mummies milk bunny for whom I expressed when he started FT day nursery at 5 1/2 months and once when they ran out of mine and offered him modified cow he looked at them as if they were trying to poison him! Much to their amusement). Then DD, who clearly found it too much like hard work and at just over seven months suddenly decided she CBA! We had gone away to stay with family over Christmas sans faithful breast pump and - yes- I got mastitis again. My conclusions for what they are worth 1. Every baby is different so beware generalisations and think it through for yourself having got as many perspectives as poss 2. Follow the advice about insisting on them doing it properly and don't allow those that take the 'recreational' view about it to maul you! 3. Learn to use a breast pump - I was lent an electric one by my boss's secretary and it was a godsend. So I got mastitis for two different reasons - DS messing around when drinking cos he just loved it and DD leaving me to go cold turkey and get engorged. But having said that I loved it and am still TINA.

Many people do not realise that human milk is desperately sweet compared to cow's hence DS's expression that so amused the nursery nurses! But actually I now realise that the only really important thing is that all babies get their colostrum - the 'first milk' so despised/dismissed by the authors of baby books. Now I farm sheep and find it shocking to see how farmers move heaven and earth to ensure that new born lambs get colostrum - milking other ewes, mothering on and even buying a second-rate powder substitute. It's the antibodies you see that primes their immune system and has been proven to literally 'set them up for life'. And it is only there in the first couple of days and no one ever got mastitis at that stage. This is the single biggest boost to your babies start in life - and it looks so cute too! (And if Dad doesn't like it alarm bells should ring...) After that the main thing is that it is truly your decision.

Love to all - lucky things.

What can I say except.... Floppeze pillow... Anyone who has used one knows what I mean!
www.thelittleblueowl.co.uk/toys-and-gifts/other-gifts/detail/floppeze-pillow/