5 things I wish I'd known before I started breastfeeding

[twinklegreen]

just reflecting really.

What things do you wish you'd known before you had your baby?

Mine are;

1. the tingling sensation when you get a let down, as it describes in the books, can actually be quite toe-curling, and is completely normal.

2. It can take up to 7 days for your milk to come in.

3. the REAL experts in breastfeeding hold IBCLC or Breastfeeding counsellor training. Midwives and HV's often have very little training (Even sometimes if they are an infant feeding co-ordinator) and often give out incorrect or out of date information and advice. :(

4. You should try to feed your baby as soon as possible after birth, not wait until someone gives you permission. :)

5. The smell of EBF baby's poo is actually quite addictive

Anyone else?

1. It's actually liberating, not restricting as I first thought. No sterilizing, no running out of formula, no having to get back to make up a feed, no having to keep up with constantly changing formula guidelines!

1. You won't have to live in mumsy feeding tops, a stretchy vest under any of your own tops solves the baby belly on show horror.

1. Jojo maman bebe night feeding bras are the best, no clips, wires etc just hoik them out and good value at 2 for 15.

1. You will never be able to answer the question "how long do they go between feeds/ what are their feeding times" nor will you remember what time/ how long for / how many times they feed in the night!

1. That reading a thread on breastfeeding will make your nipples tingle and remind you that you've not put breast pads in this morning :)... Oh and that the milk leakage thing does settle down.

1. I had no idea that once baby was latched on they can move themselves out of position and need re-latching. When I was in hospital after having my lo I'd get the mws to help me latch on and then they'd leave me to it and I assumed that when it hurt after a short while this was normal. This led to a blister by the third feed I'd done [ouch]

1. when you feed from one side you often leak from the other - sometimes it leaks so much it actually drips if I don't wear a breast pad

1. that hvs were most unhelpful - they al had different ways of doing things and so with so much 'helpful' advice I became very confused as to what to do in the early days

1. that for the first couple of weeks it was a 2 person job - one person to hold boob in place and the other to get dd lined up and mouth open etc (or was that just me )

1. try to give it 4 - 5 weeks if you can - I nearly gave up so many times but am so glad I didn't - once it's fully established it's the best thing ever and you realise you will really miss it when it stops [sob]

great thread

1. Lansinoh is your new best friend

2.It bloody hurts to begin with, especially during let-down (pass me a wooden spoon to bite on type hurt) - despite what health professionals tell you that "if you are doing it properly it doesn't hurt" (If a friend hadn't told me this& that it would ease up in a couple of weeks, I would have probably given up)

1. Rugby-ball hold is good if your nipples tend to point slightly "outwards" rather than straight ahead IYKWIM - and also after a c/s
2. Some sort of pillow/cushion is helpful for propping your arm holding baby into a comfy position (you will be there a while...) especially if you are tall, have a long body (I had a special bean-bag style wrap around cushion, it was fab, definitely worth the money)
3. Going in the shower may set your boobs off leaking in the early days, so be ready with an old towel to catch it as you get dried/dressed.

I've just thought of a sixth - if you will be sitting in the same chair to feed most of the time then you might want to get an old bit of carpet to protect your carpet/rug from wear from your feet - I managed to wear a hole in our rug after b/f 2 kids for 18months eachg in quick succession! (At least that's DH's theory )

toptip
hotmilk nursing bra's when you feel like your body looks like its been trashed
these bras and so pretty and they made me feel quite nice

1. I wish I knew about nipple shields. I have small nipples and had worried about whether my baby would feed ok. He went on to be born 5 weeks early and after 4 days of trying to establish breastfeeding and increasing stress about it not happening, a nurse suggested nipple shields and baby latched on and fed for 20 minutes - after that there was no stopping him.

1. Not to feel guilty /inadequate for having to use nipple shields. Most advice is outdated; of course I'd love to be able to feed without them but 4 months on my supply has not dwindled through using them.

1. That 4 months on I wouldn't recognise my nipples!

1. That even when baby starts sleeping through the night, you'll be dog tired. Breastfeeding is exhausting!

1. That it really will be the best feeling ever and you'll surprise yourself by wanting to carry on for as long as you can, even after weeks of a 'just one more feed/it's only for 6 months mantra.

Oh, and if you need to express because your baby's in neonatal and not feeding, don't be shocked if an over eager midwife grabs hold of your boob and sqeazes really hard to show you how to express by hand! Dignity = out the window

OXYTOCIN!

Learn to love your Let-down.

Mine is so bloody painful i literally can't speak for the 30-odd seconds it happens, in both breasts!

but when i look at my LO........sigh - its true love! thanks to oxytocin!

I had a terrible time trying to BF DD after a quite traumatic birth, painful recovery, and very bad support from the MWs and nursing staff. I was heartbroken and my confidence badly dented. I can confirm that maternity staff often are unhelpful. I had a problem with the latch so one MW had me using nipple shields, I was then told by a nurse that I was exhausting my baby with them and was a bad mother. Another told me I had no milk (she put me on a expressing machine and of course, being colostrum, not a lot came out) and I was starving my baby. And I pass on telling the rest... I ended up giving up as I was a wreck...
For DS, everything went fine. I put into action all the advice I had read in the past on MN and from the LLL, and ISOLATED myself from the maternity staff, I defended myself a lot better second time round. I am still BF at 10 months and enjoying it.

• Ask DH or DP to keep the visitors away from maternity if you get too many so you have have lots of uninterrupted skin to skin with your baby
• Don't give up with painful nipples, it gets better as you both learn. If not get advice from LLL or MN.
• I have never leaked, not obligatory
• Never been able to express milk, but never had to top up with FF. Consequently we were tied to the hip for a while, as I could not express milk and leave him with someone to bottlefeed.

I am expecting DC3 now and I am hoping that BF will go as well as for DS.

Wish I'd known not to cave in and let the nurses give DC1 a formula top-up on her first night and a couple the next day.

If only I'd realised that just gritting my teeth and getting through that first night would have got things gushing (as happened with DC2), I wouldn't have had to mix-feed.

I was too focused on the supply side, without really twigging that the demand side is where things really get started.

ninedragons, you are right. For both mine, I had the night shift nurses coming in with formula. The one nurse would squeeze one of my breasts (not even asking me) and say "still no milk" and put the formula bottles on the table whether I wanted them or not and leave. Steel yourself and ignore them, just keep the baby on the breast as much as possible.

1. Getting support can be a full-time job in itself - all the helplines go to answerphone and you're lucky to get called back that day. Equally the nearest advisors will turn out to have moved 2 years ago and the nearest available is an hour's travel. Even in London!
2. So get a list of clinics and baby cafes and bf advice drop-ins before birth.

1. Asking for support on Mumsnet will lead to some nasty people telling you 'you aren't trying hard enough' no matter what. They are fuckwits; ignore them. It's OK to give up and give some formula when you're in huge pain from breast thrush and loads of other problems. And after a few weeks, that's unlikely to stop you going back to breastfeeding.

1. The public really couldn't give a toss - even people who might think they disapprove will prefer you breastfeeding however cackhandedly 'indiscreetly' to a screaming baby.

1. Always use the loo before feeding. And get a drink and snack and the telly remote. And buy Lansinoh. And insist a doc checks the back of baby's mouth for thrush. And after you've had to pull the 'Actually, I do have a PhD in breast milk production' line to get a prescription to deal with thrush, check they've given you the right dose...

OK I might have cheated on the numbering there! Amazingly, thanks to 3 great advisors and two good GPs, I ended up breastfeeding to over a year, and 98.5% exclusively bf to 6 months.
I hope next time is easier - but I already have the My Breast Friend pillow, lansinoh, and an arsy disposition! And it got so much easier after the thrush went and then after 6 months - and at 8 months when I gave up on the leaky fussy left breast it became a total pleasure! Very glad I'm not expecting twins as I may well only use one breast next time.

1. Go in expecting to BF

1. At first your baby will suck like mad every hour or so to make your milk come in. This will happen day or night and is normal. Ignore any comments on how you need to ff as this will stop when your milk comes in.

1. Do not expect other mums on your ward to be BF, you may be the only one and up every 2hrs through the night, everyone else will sleep!

1. Do not top up with bottled milk- your breasts will respond to incresed demand and make more if needed, but they dont know to do that if you are giving bottles!

4.The curvy pillow is really good, especially if you had a CS.

1. Its a LOT easier after 1st 8 weeks, just hang in, or if you dont take to it- stop!

1. Go in preparing to BF.

1. If you have mastitis, over-supply, a baby that won't latch, and contradictory health professional advice, don't be stubborn about turning to formula. It's not the end of the world - just get the steriliser on and have some .

1. That a boob is not just a feeding implement, it can console an otherwise inconsolable baby (e.g. vaccine jab).
2. That the hardest thing about breastfeeding is not the feeding per se but the lack of sleep. I envy the 4-hour interval of formula-fed babies.
3. That 3 months on I still have a mild panic of 'where am I going to feed him?' if I go out?
4. That expressing milk and storing it for work is pretty time-consuming and I always worry I wont have enough for the next day.
5. That it's really enjoyable once you have the hang of it!

if i had known then all this advice posted it would have been so much better- here is my tuppence worth...

1. insist on bf and keep your baby near you and let them suck all the time, your milk will come down. try lots of positions, I managed to bf dd1 lying down as it was easier, but never ds1 as he was far too big. it will take a while and it is best to keep visitors to a minimum at hospital and home whilst you get the hang of it. you can start the baby off by trying to squirt a bit of milk out, and putting it on their lips, gentle.. they sometimes latch on better.
   get out of hospital as fast as you can and eat properly, ie roasts, lasagne, as it will help your milk. i remember the prepacked sandwiches on offer for lunch and dinner with horror from ds1 birth.
   my midwives in hospital had a different idea for every change of m/w and shift and with my first i got very upset. turned out none of them had ever breastfed and were in their first year...mums on the ward were helpful:)

2. keep remote, snack and bottle of water in same place so you can bf easily. babies bf for hours at first, they get faster as they get stronger, my ds and dd liked to feed, fall asleep resting on my breast, and wake up and feed in a total fog of bliss:)

3. ignore people who comment that baby is always feeding. they do. its normal. just sit down, feed the baby and relax. mil and others like to hold the baby, but you need to bond and the baby can only focus 25cm at first, so he/she will get to know your face very well. my mil thought my nb was manipulative as he cried every 2 hours to be fed and she said he should be left to teach him a lesson that i didn't feed on demand... luckily i just ignored her

4)if you have a toddler, thank cbb's as they will almost certainly not notice you bf endlessly and not playing with them:) keep small snacks and small toys. books, singalong cd in the car for when you are trapped in the carparkor layby somewhere bf and have restless toddler with you as well. if your first nb, keep book in bag for sitting in coffee shops eating muffins and bf:)

5. enjoy it, its lovely. and stop when you want, not when everyone else wants you to. watch eating spicy food, your baby may get a runny tummy:) and lots of help available to you on mumsnet:)

I think you can distill all the excellent advice to a few main points:

1. Keep your baby close from the moment they are out and let them feed as often as poss/they want. This isn't a sign they are hungry or its not working. They are doing it as it gets it all going and your milk supply established. Sleep with them on your chest and just feed them lying down in bed at night. Even when they are not feeding don't feel you have to put them down. Keep them really close the whole time those first two or three weeks.

2. If it is really AGONY as opposed to 10/20 secs of discomfort/intensity when they first latch on, seek help to make sure baby is latched on properly and that you are not starting an infection etc. You shouldnt be crying at the thought of doing the next feed, it shouldn't be that painful.

3. A lot of how easy or difficult BFing is not down to you, but down to the baby. Some babies, born at full term or late, with strong sucking reflex already, are just primed and ready to go from the off. Other babies take a bit longer to get it. Don't beat yourself up if your baby is one of the latter.

4. If you can get through the first weeks, it becomes really easy and really really convenient!

5. Its not always a total nightmare! I've got loads of friends who all seem to have breastfed without much trouble to six months plus. Thats not to say that some people do not have genuine difficulties. But just keep an open mind and don't expect it to be horrendous.

1. That it IS possible for G cup+ ladies to get supportive comfy seamfree underwired (and non wired) nursing bras, and that they do not have to resort in desperation to the pointless monstrosity at M&S (who to give them credit seem to be the only shop stocking a GG/H on the high street, pity the strap and back fastening width are the same as for a B cup!) - try www.nursingbra-shop.co.uk/

1. Not to fight cluster feeding. Ensuring a kit with water, snacks, books, phone and laptop were within reach and just accepting the hours of frustrating immobility was the best advice I received in helping me clutch onto sanity during growth spurts.

Cook enough for leftovers of dinner to snack on in the night when you're famished. Hard boil a pack of eggs - they make good midnight snacks.

La leche league provide really good help -even in the middle of the night if you're desperate - knowledgeable voice on the end of the phone helped loads

Make sure you have good support for your feet so you don't get back ache. If you're short and can't comfortably reach the floor, use a tupperware box.

It's so wonderful - persevere past the beginning - if it hurts, seek advice quickly - it shouldn't hurt. Beyond the 'nice feeling', we had lovely intimate times when she was 9-10 months giggling together in the night.

Try to introduce bottle for one feed a day as soon as DC has got the hang of it. I was tied to DD BFing for 11 months until she would accept anything else.

You can do very random feeds once they're past a few months - I worked in away 2 days and one night per week and still fed all the other days. Body gets used to it.

It is possible to BF in virtually any position - if DC is sicky, you can BF with DC vertical! It just takes practice.

And finally... you can never have too many muslins. My 20 were always in use. Use them for mopping up wee now. Also good for shoe polishing, dusting etc!

1. It can hurt (painful letdown) and you not be doing it wrong and that the pain will pass.

1. Lansinoh
2. Lansinoh
3. Lansinoh
4. See 2,3,4

Fantastic thread!!

Here's mine:

1. That everyone will congratulate you for feeding for the first 6 months, then raise their eyes and tut at you for the rest of the time you BF until your DC is ready to wean.
2. That newborns really do need to feed every couple of hours or so, or even less, and this does not mean your milk has not come in or is inadequate, it means they have tiny tummies and need to feed little and often.
3. Don't compare your wee ones' sleeping habits with mums who FF. They will preen triumphantly. You will weep at how much sleep you are being cheated out of. Nothing worth doing is always easy.
4. That older relatives in particular were so pushed into using formula they have no faith that your body can and will raise a beautiful gorgeous infant. Nod and smile as they repeat for the 50th time, is he getting enough?
5. That the world and his wife can be as critical as they like about you BFing but if you question any of the benefits of formula you are 'one of those Nazis'.
6. Just for good measure. You may like to express milk. You may hate the faff, and the sterilising but you know it will be worth it to get some freedom. Your baby may have other ideas. It may sound more like waterboarding. They will be so upset they will need a feed to stop hyperventilating. You will pack away the pump and sigh.

Last last point: Your milk supply is like a river not a bucket - it is not finite, you can no more run out of milk than your body can run out of blood.

1. When your baby cries, feed them. Boob=comfort.
2. Demand feeding is fine, but you might have to wake your baby up to feed as well. I would put that in capital letters at the top of any BF info. We got into all sorts of bother because DD was a bit jaundiced and slept too much (who knew that babies could sleep too much? not me)

3-5 - see 2.

Probably repeating some other mummies here but:

• To buy decent breastpads! Cheap ones bunch up and move around in your bra so not only do you still leak but you also get an 'attractive' lumpy tissue look!

• To introduce the occasional bottle of EBM earlier as my 6 month old now refuses anything other than my breast! (hence, I haven't been out alone since the birth!!)

• Not to panic at the 6 week growth spurt - and all the subsequent growth spurts. Its normal for baby to feed all of the time at these periods and it isn't because I don't have enough milk. Just go with it.

• That it is the laziest and easiest way to feed. Do not under estimate how easy it is to night feed when there are no bottles to make up, heat etc..

• That I would very quickly get over any embarrassment of feeding in public and that my DS would NOT appreciate having his head draped in a shawl when he is eating his lunch :)

• That using a hand pump to express would make me feel like a dairy cow lol

• To not to listen to the "you aren't still BF are you?!" when DS hit 4 months

• overall that it is the most rewarding wonderful experience and how close I would feel to my baby

That people who say things like "when your baby is old enough to walk it's time to stop bfing" are generally eejits.

Newmum - which brand do you use? I need some new ones!

God I wish I'd seen this 2 years ago when I had DS - I struggled so much with the feeding at first, he wanted to feed constantly and I mean every time I put him down he cried, to the point where I spent the first 5 weeks of his life on the sofa with him 24 hours a day - He even came to the loo with me once or twice!

In the future I would;

Begin to pump from about week 38 - Due to EMCS my milk took the best part of a week to come in and he was a big boy 11lb13oz - we ended up "topping up" the pitiful amount of colustrum with ff - no biggie but by the time he was 4 months I just wasn't filling him up enough and we had to make the move to ff. If I'd have known about how the Eastern world BF I'd have been ok! They wont give their LOs colustrum so they express pre-birth, however I would do this and keep it to top up in future!

Don't be afraid of nipple shields!!! They were a godsend! My HV was also an angel, she told me to use them and don't worry, so I did and it helped so much, ok it was a bit fussy when were out (My mother argued it took away the easy part of BF) but it worked for the 3 weeks I needed them!

Just do it - on the train, in a cafe, in a pub, in someone elses house - Nobody is usually bothered - I found it was mainly coos of "Wow she is BF and I cant see a thing!!!" people are just curious, I remember being in a cafe and there turned out to be 3 of us BF'ing at the same time, no way would you have noticed!

Make sure you have a big bottle of water and bowl of fruit next to you, keep the remote and the phones/laptop/ipad next to you at all times for the first few weeks and just sit it out, it does get easier and better and if it doesn't feel like it is, ff is not failure! (That took me almost a year to come to terms with - although I got to 4 months I felt sick everytime I used formula because I had condition myself so against it during pregnanct etc)

"bowl of fruit"? Ha! You are clearly not eating enough Chunky Monkey, ChunkyMonkeyMother! Bowl of cake, yesss that's more like it