A newborn & a 2 yr old - any 'Routines' tips?

[LadyLotty]

I am getting quite anxious about the arrival of my little daughter (due at the beginning of July by c-section!)

With my son - who'll be 2 very soon - he wasn't an easy baby - a very slow feeder and a poor sleeper, and I just about coped through the early months by kind of following a routine (not a strict gina ford, but kind of guided by her book so I fed every 3-4hrs, regular nap & sleep times, bath before bed etc etc).

He is now very easy, wakes at 7am, nap just once after lunch between 1-3pm and goes to sleep again at 8pm.

But I just don't know how things are going to work out with the new baby, how I am going to juggle newborn with my toddler's food and nap schedules :/ I'm planning on a mixture of breast feeding and bottle feeding of formula, or maybe expressed milk. I have no idea!!! Any suggestions? Opinions? And if I were to do a mixture, what feeds shall I do for breast feeding and what ones for bottle? HELP!!!

I hope I don't come across like a very strict mummy or a control freak. I don't like drifting through the day not knowing what next hour will bring so some kind of ballpark routine works well for me.. To all you mummies out there who have 2 on your hands, what was your day-to-day like during those first few months? What times did you feed the little ones and your toddler?

(and i won't even START to ask what the nights were like....... am scared!)

Is there any reason you want to mix breast and bottle?

If you have a routine already for your 2 yr old, you will probably find that your newborn starts to fit in with that - just because that's what you're doing. I did. So my newborn gradually got into the habit of having his morning nap at the time we went to nursery, and to having an afternoon nap (along with me) at the same time as my 2yr old etc. etc. Night times - we co-slept with newborn and DH got up to settle 2 yr old if he needed it. It will gradually fall into place, don't worry. Expecting DC3 at the moment and will then have 3 under 4, am expecting new one to 'fall into place' with existing routines, perhaps should report back!

TBH I don't think it is worth even trying to work this out right now as there are far too many unknowns.

Assuming that your older dc is still in a fairly fixed routine then there will be no reason to change that at all. Then you will just have to figure out a routine that suits the baby, in the same way that you did first time around.

I had a very similar age gap and for ds2 the only real difference compared with ds1 were that he had a lot more of his naps in the pushchair while we were out and about. Sometimes there naps will be in sync, other times they will not and tbh it doesn't really matter, you just go with the flow :)

In terms of feeding then during the day I would do whaever you find the least hassle. For me this was definitly BF. If you want to try expressing or anything that you find more complicated then (at first) leave this until the evenings of weekends when (I'm assuming) you have another pair of hands to help with the toddler.

hth.

and yes what wolfhound said.

Definitely your OH's job if the older one wakes in the night :)

Oh yes, agree with SarkyLady that DS2 had far more naps in the pushchair (with DS1 I always did his nap in the cot, mainly because then I could have a rest too!) But DS2 had to fit in more. He seems to be happy enough! (nearly 2 now...) And I too would have found expressing a real pain - much easier to just Bf as and when required. DS1 would play or sit next to me and read a book/talk etc.

Thanks for that! Ok so I'll try not to think about it now, and go with the flow and see if I can get the little one to sync in with my little boy's routine then!

Ritamorgan - I want to do a mixture of both bottle and breast - at least that's the thought at the moment - because with DS1 he was breastfed to the point he wouldn't take a bottle. I had a hell of a time breastfeeding when I wanted to stop at 3 months (I was absolutely exhausted, had terrible endless nipple thrush that never went away, plus mastitis - on both boobs at the same time and ended up hospitalised etc etc) so I'm really wanting to keep the option open this time round such that the baby isn't entirely reliant upon me...... :( I think around 6 -7 months, when DS1 was weaned, BF got easier, but I wasn't able to stop (rather DS1 wasn't ready to stop) until 12 months. So I kind of don't want to go through all that again.

What worked quite well for me was DP doing a bottle at 11pm, that way I could do the bedtime feed then go to bed myself, and not be needed for a few hours. Probably a good idea to wait til 4 or so weeks in though so your supply is established.

Thanks RitaMorgan. Since I breastfed so much the first time, do you think my body still needs 4 weeks to 'establish'...? Is breastfeeding harder or easier the second time round? I'm thinking maybe after DS1 my nipples are like rubber and my body is a milk machine, but then I heard another mum tell me I literally start all over again and breast feeding can be just as tough...!! aaargh!

I found BF much easier the second time. The first time it was agonising for 6-8 weeks, and then suddenly got a lot better. The second time it hurt (but much less than the first time) for 3-4 weeks and was then very easy. I had quite a short gap though - only 9 mths between stopping BF the first time and DS2's birth, so that might have helped. Still stock up on Lansinoh!

Oh my goodness I also have lots of lansinoh! It was my saviour the first time round. I just hate to think how much my little baby 'ate' of this stuff during the early weeks of his feeding..... poor little thing!