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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Is there an 'extended' breastfeeding support thread?

652 replies

Unrulysun · 22/05/2011 11:48

Or would I be better off on LLL?

Just read the 'school-age children' thread with interest but didn't want to derail :)

dd is 1 today so it's not 'extended' bf by any normal definition but judging by the number of 'Are you going to carry on breastfeeding her?' (yes because otherwise she'll be composed primarily of grapes) conversations I've had inflicted on me in the last week I think I'm going to need all the support I can get Grin

so proud we made it this far - ha ha!

OP posts:
TruthSweet · 26/05/2011 20:35

I guess that's where we differ. I'd much rather know that a parenting choice I might make could have very serious consequences than it was glossed over and the benefits of another choice was instead promoted.

RidinOnAPig · 26/05/2011 20:59

I make parenting choices based on what feels right for us, not what somebody writes is. We all know if a writer has a bias opinion, it's easy enough to find statistics to back it up.

You could easily read literature stating that ANY parenting choice you make has serious consequences. Apart from breast is best of course Wink.

TruthSweet · 26/05/2011 21:19

They all fuck your kids up so we are damned either way Wink Though agree with breast is best (or biologically normal Grin)

GeneCity · 27/05/2011 07:44

Re the discussion between RidinOnAPig and TruthSweet:

I read some sections of Katherine A. Dettwyler's website, and agree that although she is an academic research scientist, her opinion is clear from her writing on the website. I assume that her peer-reviewed research articles are written in a more factual style.

RidinOnAPig, you say that 'We all know if a writer has a bias opinion, it's easy enough to find statistics to back it up.'. I worry that this is not true for everyone, and that this might lead to a proportion of the population making poorly informed decisions (of course, not only with regard to breast / bottle, also to vaccinate / not to vaccinate, 'choice' within the NHS etc).

I think that there are two main issues here: lack of basic scientific ability of the population (by which I mean the ability to access, understand and assess scientific information / statistics etc), and reporting of science by the media.

TheRealMBJ · 28/05/2011 18:12

This afternoon I fed DS sitting on the grass in the middle of an apple orchard (bottom of DH's grandpa's garden). I felt like a real earth mother.

greensnail · 29/05/2011 09:46

That sounds lovely TheRealMBJ. I love moments like that.

Both my girls have bad colds at the moment so are wanting to feed loads. Its driving me a bit bonkers to be honest. DH has taken them out this morning so I can have a break and sit on the sofa without a small person attached to me.

jadziadax · 30/05/2011 00:35

May I also join in? DD is 23 months and very keen on "side." I'm very pleased with the fact we'll make it to the WHO recommended 2 years.

It's lovely to hear everyone's stories.

harverina · 30/05/2011 10:51

Havent had time to post since last week, but thanks everyone for the advice re: my low supply. My DD seems less and less interested in bf'ing at the moment. The morning and nighttime feeds are lasting only a few minutes although she does seem keen to initially latch on and cries for milk if its not offered immediately Confused

Will need to catch up with the rest of the thread now :)

harverina · 30/05/2011 11:05

Truthsweet (sorry to hijack), I have a cosleeping question...my DH and I were too scared to cosleep with our DD actually in bed with us, but we had our DD in our room with use in a cot close to the bed (not right next to it but a couple of steps away)...is this still a form of cosleeping and is the baby able to pick up on its mothers physiological cues in any way when sleeping in the same room but in a cot?

I really battled with my feelings re: issues like this...for example, we chose not to use a dummy then found out that they are recommended to prevent SIDS and I really worried that my decision would be a risk to my DD, same idea with cosleeping really. Im a worrier anyway!

harverina · 30/05/2011 11:14

Sorry to post again!

Gene, I went back to work when my DD was 13 months, so a little older, but to prepare my DD I continued to feed on demand but used the don't offer, don't refuse rule. My DD gradually dropped feeds on her own. Now that I am back at work we seem to be feeding only morning and night even on my days off. I had been fully prepared for my DD to feed, feed, feed on my days off! There have been a few times since going back to work when my DD has been overtired in the day and I have offered her the breast to settle her into her nap and she has accepted, but generally she refuses. My DD loves soya milk (she's allergic to dairy) and is brilliant with a cup too so she is happy to have milk at snack times from a sippy cup.

TruthSweet · 30/05/2011 13:03

haverina - technically co-sleeping refers to a mother/parents sharing a room with their baby regardless of cot/bed proximity. Bed sharing is what most people mean by co-sleeping (inc. me sorry!).

I had the girls in their cot next to the bed but would feed them to sleep and then transfer them to their cot if I was still awake when they went to sleep or if I woke before they did I would transfer then. I used a cot sheet for them to sleep on to make transferring easier (no 'cold sheet shock' to wake them up). They slept next to me so we went DH, me, baby, cot rather than DH, baby, me. The bed was set up so the baby wasn't covered by our bedding and they had their own sheet/blanket as ness.

Personally and not in any capacity as a BFPS/MS, I think that the dummy to sleep to prevent cot-death mechanism is a bit mis-understood. I don't think that a dummy prevents SIDS so much as the absence of a dummy when a baby usually has one might be a risk factor.

If a child didn't have a dummy on a specifc sleep it increased the chance, that statistically, they would have die from SIDS (this is if they normally had a dummy to go to sleep). Babies who died of SIDS who normally took a dummy to sleep were more likely to have not had a dummy on that last sleep.

I don't know if the researchers actually parsed the reasons behind the baby not having a dummy on that last sleep:-

if it was the parents forgot to give it to them/didn't have a dummy to give to them - if it was the case in all the deaths of babies who always had a dummy to sleep then dummy would be conferring a protective effect on the baby. It could be that the baby rousing slightly to replace the dummy during the night might be enough to stop baby going into too deep a sleep/the dummy was triggering breathing reflexes/other physiological mechanism that prevents SIDS,

if the baby was asleep/unusually sleepy before they would normally be put down for a nap the dummy might not being given to help them sleep - then you could infer that the baby was behaving out of their normal parameters as so was already displaying signs that something wasn't right [not that you would expect parents to wake a baby that has fallen asleep earlier than usual so I'm not casting blame on the parents],

if the baby refused to take a dummy or was unable to suckle on it so it was removed - in that case there was possibly a physiological problem/illness already in process that then refusing a dummy was just an indicator that something was beginning to go wrong not that the dummy refusal caused the death.

I think if you do give a dummy you need to give it every single time they go to sleep and if they refuse it or are unable to take the dummy on a particular occasion a closer eye should be kept on the baby just to be sure.

If you or the baby don't want to give/take a dummy in the first place then bfing before sleep and co-sleeping with in arms reach (either in a cot or next to mum in a safe bed space) or in during the day baby sleeping in the same area as the parents are would have a similar effect in keeping baby out of very deep sleep/triggering breathing reflexes/etc.

Sorry for essay Blush

Cosmosis · 30/05/2011 13:11

As far as I understand the dummy thing, it's as truth says above, it's not having a dummy if they usually have them, not actually having a dummy - so if you introduce one, keep it.

Cosmosis · 30/05/2011 13:11

Although I didn't stick to that advice, I introduced one for a bit and then took it away again.

organiccarrotcake · 30/05/2011 17:25

www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2010/10/ask-armadillo-pacifiers-sids-whats-deal.html

Well worth a read.

On the other hand, the risk of SIDS is so low anyway and the effects of a dummy seem to be so marginal within that that I personally wouldn't take dummy use into consideration with my own children WRT SIDS. I would, or would not, use a dummy because I did, or did not, want to use one for other reasons, but I wouldn't consider the SIDS link. Personally. Meaning, I think there are things you can stress about too much (when there's so much with clear evidence that is worth stressing about).

IsItMeOr · 31/05/2011 15:01

Hello - can I join? I've just switched on looking for some advice re. bfing my almost 25mo, and hope you may be able to help.

Like many, I started hoping to make it to 6mo, and here we still are. My DS loves to feed, and is still a major comfort feeder. He has:

a long feed at bedtime (45mins, and sometimes I have to insist it stops then...),

a long feed in the morning because he wakes up at horrible o'clock (5ish) and the path of least resistance seemed to be to encourage him to feed - hey, at least I can sit down and know where he is if I shut my eyes,

a shortish feed after breakfast (10-15mins), and

a very short feed after his afternoon nap - and it was this that's prompting me to post.

Basically I've got in a bit of a state, as DS's feeding seems so entwined with his poor sleeping (it's rare for him to sleep from 8.15pm to 5.15am without waking up at least once) and he always wakes up from his nap incredibly unhappy. But he's really not been feeding very much at all after his nap for ages, so I thought it would be a good idea to drop the feed as DH is now looking after DS a couple of days a week too.

Not sure this has been a good idea though, as DS cried for 45mins the first day, and has been pretty upset on the next couple of days too.

Basically, does anybody have any tips for me about encouraging DS to feed less without so much upset for us both? We've bought one of those gro-clocks to try hoping that we can persuade DS to sleep longer at night, but have realised we have no idea how to combine using the clock with my current feeding "strategy".

Thanks, and sorry for the mega post.

WoTmania · 31/05/2011 17:12

Hullo IIMO - Sounds like my household Grin. I can't really offer any advice - DD currently nurses to sleep, and nurses through the night. She's 27 months. The only thing I would say re: night-weaning (it sounds like this is your aim?) is that it might not be linked and then you would be stuck for an early morning comforter. Got to go as DC need me can post more later.

organiccarrotcake · 31/05/2011 18:02

Yes, that early morning thing is wonderful, isn't it! I love having the opportunity to laze in as long as I reasonably want to.

IsItMeOr · 31/05/2011 19:07

Thanks WoTmania, glad it's not just me. No, thankfully we haven't had any night feeds for a year or so, except in extreme circumstances (e.g. turned out to be a major ear infection Blush).

You're right, I do worry about losing the early morning comforter.

I've been talking a bit more with DH about the gro-clock, and we think we'll try setting it for 5.15 first, and saying mummy and daddy stay in bed until the sun comes up, then I'll get up to feed him whenever he wakes after that. Then we're going to try and push the sun-up time back by 5mins a day or similar until it hopefully gets to a more acceptable time.

It's the sleep thing that really bothers me, as we're so tired, DS included.

Still feeling a bit tearful about stopping the post-nap feed - think it may have been a mistake, as it really does seem to have sent shock-waves through his little world Sad. I'm such a wuss.

KD0706 · 31/05/2011 19:47

Hello everybody. Hope you're all having nice weeks.
I thought of you all today when I had a bit of an awkward feeding moment.

DD had her vaccines today (she's 13 months for those who can't be gaffes reading back). Obviously she was upset. She has a query egg allergy so we were asked to hang around the waiting room a bit longer afterwards (vaccine cultured on eggs).

So she was still upset and the nurse was trying to distract her w a toy. I said I would feed her, that would calm her down. Nurse was like 'oh is she hungry' and I said no but a feed would calm her. The nurse was all flustered when she realised I meant breastfeeding (the old chestnut of me just calling it 'feeding' and kind of got all Tongue tied and said something along the lines of how nice bf is for mums and it's sad it will be ending soon.

I just said I was in no rush to stop.

But I felt a bit awkward about 'still feeding her and about using it for comfort rather than nutrition. And in a place where I would have expected it to be more normalised (doctors surgery)

Anyway I just wanted to get that off my chest and thought you would understand!

greensnail · 31/05/2011 19:49

Good luck with the gro-clock. We had quite good success with our own home made version which is a night light connected to a time switch. She quite quickly understood when we told her it isn't morning until the light comes on and then we just made the time it came on later and later until it got to a reasonable time. She still comes in for a feed when she gets up though, its nice to be able to lie in bed a bit longer while she feeds :)

KD0706 · 31/05/2011 19:54

Hi IsItMeOr
we're still about a year behind you so I have all the joys of gro clocks etc to come. But just wanted to say hope it goes well.

Last night we had two night feeds plus a 5.30 start. So I feel your pain!

jaggythistle · 31/05/2011 20:40

people do get a bit surprised KD don't they.

when we had DS (20 months) at a&e the other week for his cut lip, the doctor was asking if he still had a bottle, as he was worried about the cut opening back up. i am strangely proud that the words 'no he breastfeeds' got out of my mouth somehow!

the doc was quite nice though and seemed sort of pleasantly surprised and thought that Bf would be ok for him. (turned out DS didn't want to feed at all for 24hrs anyway)

my MIL used to get confused all the time when we said DS wanted a feed, i think she thought we'd be getting him a biscuit or something!

am slightly dreading being at my own parents house for a few days quite soon, my mum started getting a bit nervous about our continued bf before DS even hit one. he doesn't normally ask for milk much, but it will come up in conversation sometime and i know I'll get all flustered- must be because it's my mum!

KD0706 · 31/05/2011 20:45

Hi jaggythistle
mums are funny aren't they. My lovely mum wouldn't pass comment at all. Plus I've lent her politics of breastfeeding and she's very feminist and left wing so she will soon be a convert!!
But she's always felt she pushed the boundaries in that she fed me and my brother all the way till we were nine months (which I know is fab, I'm not putting it down). So the thought of people feeding their babies for YEARS had never occurred to her.

jaggythistle · 31/05/2011 20:52

mine fed us to about 8 months and everyone thought she was nuts not to have us on bottles! she was v supportive at first. :) her only experience of feeding past one was my wee cousin who was apparently trying to lift up his mum's top all the time.

didn't think of lending her the book... my friend is reading it at the moment though!

organiccarrotcake · 31/05/2011 22:02

Oh good idea about lending the book to mum. I buy it for any friends who announce they're pregnant. My mum BF me to 6 months but my brother, who was very ill at birth and was in a hospital miles from her, was FF - sadly as he lost 1/2 his bowel and may have done better on BM :(

KD You did a good thing showing the nurse the benefits of using BFing to help a little one through something traumatic. Next time she'll feel more comfortable about it.

I feed mine at nursery twice a day and everyone there sees how it works for us. Of course, they're still giving babies of my DS's age (11 months) bottles of formula and when we first started there I pointed this out, so hopefully they all understand that it's just the same (in the sense that it's baby milk). They've even got their heads around putting food onto the high chair table for him to self-feed rather than spoon feeding.

Honestly, at the moment, and we're not yet at a year, it just doesn't feel like "extended" BFing. At a year they should be around 50% milk and 50% solids anyway...