Can you explain breastfeeding? Im really not getting it right!

[Helenemjay]

Ive come to the decision that im a complete idiot regarding breastfeeding my dd, she is 8 weeks old and exclusivley breastfed but, im going wrong somewhere, she is having greeny poo's and i svery windy which i know is a sign of too much formilk, but i keep her on the same side as long as possible! If im honest i dont get the breast switching thing - If you have fed baby until she falls asleep then she wakes up 20 minutes later do you resume feeding on the side you just finished on or do you go to the other side? - im so confused

Thankyou hunkermunker!

Helenmjay- yes breastfeeding is confusing! The last feed dd had was a really good one though (should be, after an awful night!) She has had her 1st injections today poor thing, and is currently flat out asleep. Hope it lasts, I am off to join her!

HM and tiktok, thanks for the interesting and useful info! Had a snarl at the HV today who tried to say dd isnt putting on enough weight and instead of following 9th centile, which I know she is, had 'dipped'. Three of them making concerned faces, and not one of them had read the chart right! I commented that 'the chart is not for breast fed babies, is it?' and they had to agree, don't think they expected me to know that- ha!

Blinking HVs and their obsession with centile lines

DS dropped from 75th to just above the 9th. Know those concerned faces well. Just wish they'd looked at smiling roly-poly baby instead of his frankly peed-off mother

Glad you had some answers for them

HelenE - glad you had a better night.

You are doing a GREAT job with bf. Shame on your family for trying to knock your confidence (bf and sleeplessness is hard enough to deal with without that).

I agree hunker. My friend (with a toddler) was put through 6 months of hell, with referral to a paed and a local hospital and all sorts of scare stories about her "undernourished" child. She moved areas, got a new paed, and he said he could not believe how well the child ate (fish straight from the sea, veges out of the garden etc) and how healthy she was (given the hysterical referral due to being "underweight"). She was just a very active toddler, who ate no fastfood/junk/sweats. And yet the mother was made to feel like some kind of child abuser because her child was not on the proper place on the chart. The paed basically said "ffs - she's well, alert and developing. who cares about a chart?" HOOORRAAAYYY. But that was a year ago and the mum is still a bit neurotic about the child's weight.

Most HV's are bloody stupid in my opinion - they rant on about how every mother should breastfeed leaving those who decide to bottle feed feeling like they arent quite as good, then when baby isnt gaining as much as a 'chart' says they should they start ranting on about top ups - something my HV told me to do initially with dd as she was very slow to regain her birth weight, i think EVERY mother should trust their own instincts and tell the HV to bog off! new mums need support and encouragement with breast AND bottle feeding, not a lecture on centile's - sorry, rant over

Helen, just to let you know I had thought my family were supportive of breastfeeding (and generally they are) then went to my auntys yesterday. dd started crying, and she said oh is she ready for a bottle. A short while later I asked if I could feed her, would she mind etc and she said no, then said 'Oh do you not give her any bottles...what, none at all?' then when I said the odd one of EBM she was all surprised, what no formula? Think that's more to do with her, she didn't BF my cousins, now in their 30s, and her DIL only breast fed for 8 weeks, so obviously I am a freak for doing it longer! I am sure it's also about her wanting to be in control, she is very bossy and opinionated. She was practically gagging to give my ds his first taste of choc, cake etc, advised me to put rusk in his bottle, tea in his bottle etc. This is the woman who, when her sister entrusted her 4 week old (me!) to her for the day while she attended a wedding, started her on baby rice!

KiwiKate, my community midwife had me take dd to hospital when she was 14 days old because she hadn't regained her birth weight and was still slightly jaundiced. We were told to take her to a&e, which was just awful, massive queue and drunk people shouting at 3pm! So I threw a bit of a hissy fit and got taken up to the ward, was told they NEVER send babies to a&e. DD had blood tests and we had to take her back 3 days later for more, absolutely awful tests. They ballsed it up, couldnt get the needle in to get the sample, and dd cried so much she burst all the capillaries in her eye lids Needless to say tests were fine and she was soon discharged, but me and DH were not fine at seeing her go through that for no good reason. MW had been on at me since I came home from hospital to supplement with formula, which I grudgingly and sparingly did till she was back to birth weight. A good friend of mine who was a midwife for 30 years was fuming when she heard this!

Thanks kiwikate i am a little surprised and disapointed in my family to be honest but im not listening to them! had an ok night again last night but now i have a blocked duct again - really really sore i think maybe her latch is poor that side, im not sure, breastfeedng, i love it but, ggrrrrrr

threelittlebabies - thats terrible, your poor dd i dont know how you coped - id have slapped em' all one!
at your aunty for the baby rice incident, my mum is like that too! drives you bonkers doesnt it!

Helenemjay, this is a fantastic thread! I echo your opinion of HVs. It brought it all back to me those early days with a new baby. One of the over-riding feelings I had back then was "I don't think I'm doing this right, why is he crying all the time?" You do lack self-confidence & it can be incredibly hard to stand up to people who offer crap advice or tell you should be doing it a different way. Once you really know your baby you do develop an inner strength & can brush off these comments. It sounds like you're getting there already, well done! Yes, trust your instincts, hold your head up high, smile sweetly at them & ignore every single word!!

Why thankyou karmamother!! I have to admit i have met the occasional good HV, but as a whole i have found most of them to be pretty crap! What do they actually do except for tell you how wrong you are and that they know more about your baby than you do! I suppose i shouldnt be so judgemental, i dont know all HV's only the few i have met! I DO hope im getting to know my baby better all the time, and like you say, with that grows your confidence - something i need asap, especially as far as breastfeeding goes! Its been said before im sure, but i dont remember anyone telling me how tiring and stressful breastfeeding can be, is it just me or do you get the impression from midwives and HV's that its the easiest thing in the world - until you do it???

Helen, to be honest I had to restrain myself from asking them if they were ACTUALLY Drs, such trouble they had. At first I hung back and let DH be with her, thinking it would be a brief thing, like injections, but I couldnt stay away when she started sceaming, and I was crying myself. Dr put her finger in dd mouth to let her suck!! Then asked me to wash my hands and do it, she didn't have a dummy then. Also they "needed" a urine sample so the poor kid spent 2 hours lying on a baby mat in her vest with her nappy off and one or the other of us trying to catch a sample from her. In the end I had to lie down on the bad to feed her whilst she lay like that. Then when we went to the out patients clinic the lab claimed not to have received a urine sample, so there was NO point to the whole saga! [feel myself getting angry just thinking about it again!]

Helenemjay, you've raised a very good point there. In the pursuit of encouraging breastfeeding, health professionals are reluctant to say how hard it can be at times. They worry it might put some women off if they knew the effort that was required. Consequently, it's my firm belief that a lot of women give up because they had unrealistic expectations. I wonder how much of this could be avoided if women had access to more information before they start?

3LB, regarding the urine sample, I can't believe the hospital didn't put a urine collecting bag on your ds. They stick over her vulva & a nappy can go over the top. Much easier. I can imagine you wanted to smack someone for losing her sample!

LOL 006!! i know ALL about the chaos of the school run with a squawking baby under your arm! plus i have a 2.5 year old to drag with me too - knackering isnt it?
3LB some Dr's never fail to amaze me on how stupid and inconsiderate they can be, but you'd think they would at least try and be more considerate as far as babies go your poor poor dd Karmamother - EXACTLY! i gave up breastfeeding with my fisrt baby for exactly those reasons - it was just so much more work than i had imagined! I think something should be done to help women know EVERYTHING about breastfeeding!

karmamother, I think after 2 hours they were going to suggest that, but they wanted us to take her home with it and then bring it back. I wasnt sure what was involved and at that point NO WAY was I bringing her back again. Luckily the little sweetie obliged in the nick of time

006, PMSL at the breastfeeding in the playground, good for you! I have done it in more places than I thought I would, but needs must. Tried explaining that to my mum who seems horrified, saying " I never thought you would BF in public!" Well sorry mum, but I am not going to let my dd starve for the sake of what she perceives as decency!! I did feed her in the lobby of a v.posh Westminster hotel, she was under my poncho but I think they knew AND weren't amused, oh well!