Can you explain breastfeeding? Im really not getting it right!

[Helenemjay]

Ive come to the decision that im a complete idiot regarding breastfeeding my dd, she is 8 weeks old and exclusivley breastfed but, im going wrong somewhere, she is having greeny poo's and i svery windy which i know is a sign of too much formilk, but i keep her on the same side as long as possible! If im honest i dont get the breast switching thing - If you have fed baby until she falls asleep then she wakes up 20 minutes later do you resume feeding on the side you just finished on or do you go to the other side? - im so confused

Oh, and please, please don't express to "see how much milk you have" - it's NO indicator of this. The only thing it will show you is how much the breastpump can get out - now, if you hold a breastpump up against your baby, you'll see that they aren't all that similar...! And your baby's MUCH better at getting milk out. And it will just make you stress even more.

HE, you do have milk left, I promise you. Your boobs are feeling emptier because your body's getting better at making milk to order, not in advance. It just means breastfeeding's working better. Squeezing to try to get some milk out is also no indicator of whether you're full or empty either.

And at 8 weeks old...she's probably having a growth spurt too - please just feed her when she roots for it and you will have enough milk for her, honestly.

Helen - only just skimmed through the thread but got the gist (i hope!).

If you can't remember which side you last fed from, try swapping over your watch/a ring each time. I found it easier to swap my wedding ring than risk injury with a safety pin!

Your milk won't dry up. You can still be stressed and BF successfully - I am old friends with stress and spent the first few weeks of DD's life being convinced that I wasn't producing enought milk and should do mixed feeding - this was encouraged by my MIL and the HV. My baby started as a 9lb 13oz chunkster a nd 60 cm long - as she didn't maintain this enormous size it was easy to suggest that she wasn't being fed enough, but a wonderful MW persuaded me to stick with it.....

Your body makes the right milk for your baby in the right quantities. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. Your baby is gaining lots of weight and will continue to thrive. From what my friends tell me, a baby who sleeps through before 1 year is doing very well. Mine is 7 months and wakes between 7 and 7 at least twice. Routines work for me and my DD. I hope you find something which works for you, but in my experience it won't be immediate.

You are doing a fab job looking after your 3 and keeping up the feeding - take care and remember your body can do it! you just need to find a rhythm that suits you and yours

Take care

XX

Oh, Helen, your mum wants to help but she doersn't know what she is talking about.

Stress is not responsible for milk drying up - that's not how it works at all.

Acute stress - like severe pain or a shock - can affect let down, temporarily. It comes back.

Really, once bf is established, it is not a knife-edge thing, ready to collapse through stress (or anything else). It's pretty robust. Everything said here about soft breasts being normal is true.

Just feed the baby when she wants to be fed. Hold her as much as you can. Don't analyse her every squeak and squawk, and assume it's down to your milk.

If you do those two things, and avoid doing that one thing, you will be doing just great

Helen, sorry you're having a hard time.
It's easier to feed when the baby wants to than to try and deal with screaming other ways!
Do you have a sling? I've got one ds and I don't use (we use a baby björn) - it might work for you. If you CAT me I'll lend it to you if you like. Bedtime could be easier with dd in a sling (she can then say 'goonight' to her older sibs!)
You always have milk, even when the breast is all soft and floppy.
I had terrible probs in the first couple of weeks with ds refusing the breast and tiktok and mears were great. Trust them!

Hi H,just to let you know I too am sharing some of your problems with DS (5 week) He cries for what seems none stop and needs to be carried around not just cuddled while sitting down!! Think he would have my boob permanently in his mouth too. He is really windy and will not settle and night and spends most time asleep on me!! I think to myself that most babies want to be carried around, after all that's what you have doen for the last 9 months whilst pregnant. Still hard though isn't it...yeserday I couldnt put him down for a second without him screaming the place down. You spend ages trying to anaylse erything...is it wind, hunger, boredom, hpow long since I last fed him, if I feed again so soon will he ne sick...the list goes on and I get frusrtated. Anyhow after such a bad day yestaerday I have decided today to just go with the flow and leave everything except the essentials...and try to dedicate time to DD too (3). Bloody hard work this mother malarky, especially with more than one. True about the soft boob thing....the hardness is caused by build up of milk that is immediately avaailable to baby, as your babay suckles milk is drawn from further stores....you never run pout of milk....the more they feed the more ou make....clever....supply and demand. Keep going...I'll be watching your comments with interest as you seem to be on my wavelength!!

Thankyou girls, i have tried my best today to devote as ,uch time to bfeeding dd as i can and she is very very slightly better, bought poor ds2 is feeling very neglected and has been quite tearful all day, my mum stayed this morning to help out with some of my laundry and then my sister came round and they both started on about how i should forget all about breastfeeding - dd is obviously more hungry than i can satisfy, and its not fair on her my mum then took her out her pram and insisted on making a bottle up and giving it too her! - she didnt as i wouldnt let her - which caused a bit of a heated discussion on how i shouldnt sacrifice my other kids and housey things by spending all my time feeding dd! i know she means well, and im sure she really IS trying to help, but i just feel so defeated by it all, i cant help but feel like i have no one supporting my decision to bfeed at all
I have noticed that my breasts feel very emprty all the time, and thats ok is it? i hope so, i have also noted that as a result of dp being away, i havent eaten hardly anything at all since saturday - will this affect my milk at all? every time i feed dd, she starts fussing at me within minutes! ??

Sorry foundintranslation, i do have a sling, thankyou for your very kind offer i will use it, i have to say i have tried once or twice and i dont seem to be able to get the hang of it but i will keep trying

oh dear it is hard without support isnt it...but you are doing really well. You obviously need to eat well to feel well yourself and have energy to cope so try and keep eating if you can find the time...get some ready meals and crereal bars and stuff that are quick and easy and maybe eat while you are feeding?! i know how hard it is to find time for yourself!!! Lack of food won't effect your supply or quality of milk as that's why you store extra fat during preg to cope with this bfeeding now....isn't nature clever Your baby may be fussing due to being windy maybe, DS does that a lot too....it won't because of having no milk.

Helen, poor you.....your mum and your sister are very undermining and this must be so difficult. To add to this, you are questioning your milk - buttonmoon is right, your diet is irrelevant, really.

The change in your approach - going with the flow and feeding more often - can't take place properly in an atmosphere where you are struggling against other people's 'help'.

You need to be strong, and believe what you are aiming for is worth it.

You have enough milk. Your milk is just fine. All that needs to be done is to get it into your dd

I am going to be frank here: your mother and your sister are sabotaging your breastfeeding. They may mean well, but this is what they are doing.

Just a quickie on breasts feeling empty. I read so much stuff about people having full or even leaky boobs that I thought I didn't have enough milk as I never felt that. My breast always felt empty as you describe yours. I now think that is a sign that the baby is getting milk rather than the reverse.

I found bfing really difficult altogether for the first eight weeks or so, and got very panicked because ds didn't put on weight.

He is now just coming up to six months and weighs over 21 pounds.

So I guess I must have enough milk. Even though it never felt that way. I was very lucky to have support with bfing, but even with that it was hard.

Am so pleased and proud of myself now, though. I love looking at ds and thinking that ever since his conception my body has fed him completely.

So, if you want to, please keep it up.

Hiya everyone, sorry i keep vanishing, there's always someone yelling here! my mum invited me to tea, so i went very willingly, im glad diet doesnt harm your milk, i suppose im just grasping a straws as i so far seemed to have been ok with my feeding, apart from the odd one or two probs, i seem to be having some major panic over it all right now and i dont know why! my lovley friend who helped me when i had pnd after ds2, has gently suggested that i should consider having a word with GP/HV about me maybe having pnd again - im not sure that i have, but as she says when your in their you cant see the woods for the trees! - that might be a reason for dd being so stressy at the breast, as she may be picking up on my stress and tension??? sorry - im possibly grasping at straws again arent i? i just feel like bfeeding is something i have never quite fully understood! does that sound stupid?

Hiya HE, no, it doesn't sound stupid at all. For something that's seemingly so "natural", it can be really hard to get the hang of and it's far too easy to overanalyse it (especially when people close to you are being generally unhelpful about it).

Can you say to your mum and sister that you will breastfeed, that's non-negotiable - but that you welcome all help with housework they're prepared to offer and you'd be really grateful if they could support you in this?

Where do you live? If you're anywhere near me, I'll come and do some ironing for you And as I don't do mine if I can help it, that's an offer and a half, I can tell you

Seriously though - it's hard when they're little and going through growth spurts (I'm sure that has something to do with why your DD is fussing too). As they get that little bit older, breastfeeding does tend to settle down and become more the "easy" thing you're promised.

Are you worried you have PND? If so, talk to your HV or GP about it - it might help you.

Helen, can I just say I feel I could have written the things you have on this thread! Especially about the house looking like a launderette The advice is still helping and reassuring me, but I wanted to add a question if I may. I am ok with my breasts feeling soft (after reading this thread), but I used to leak and spurt all over the place, often hitting dd in the face if I wasn't careful! Why do I not do this now, is it because my milk supply has regulated itself to just the precise amount I need? I hope so!

Yes, TLB. My milk used to squirt at DS - he often had little droplets of it in his eyelashes (looked quite cute, really!) - but as he got bigger, it didn't happen any more. Kind of missed it really - was quite the party piece (not that I showed anyone but DH ).

Oh hunkermunker you are a sweetheart! Thankyou or that kind and lovely offer i live in one of those places that no-one ever seems to live near - Grimsby! As for the growht spurts im hoping that is part of the problem, although dd fell asleep in my arms at my mums and she stayed asleep in the car on the way home, and so i got in the house and took her out her car seat and put her in her cot, this was about 7pm, and she is still up there!! - have no idea what i did, but i will try and find out! PND - im not sure, i do feel really really fed-up and every little thing makes me upset, i told ds1 off earlier for being naughty at school, and then spent most of the evening thinking what a crap mummy i am, and he probably hates me, and that ds2 hates me as i dont get chance to spend much time with him anymore, but that could be because im tired and abit stressed out, i suppose i shouldnt assume its depression.
threelittlebabies - lol! we sound very alike dont we? i was going to ask a very similar question!! - my boobs used to feel so full i thought they might go pop! now they feel and look like someone took the stuffing out bfeeding can be so confusing!
Think i may go up to bed since dd is sleeping, it might help to get abit of an early night, knowing my luck she will probably wake up the second i go up! - wish me luck! xx

Thanks for the reassurance and support HM, which I am beginning to see is an essential part of breastfeeding. Having just read your post, I recall I did shoot myself in the head only yesterday as dd screamed and came off the breast and I squeezed and bent to see if there was anything there...there was! I agree, an excellent, novel party piece! Just off to feed a screaming dd, back later!

Sorry, HE, I'm nowhere near you (London) - but will send uncrinkly vibes to your clothes - howzat?

Honestly, you are doing a really good job - and you are bound to feel frazzled with a young baby and two other young children to look after. But don't take it as being normal if you aren't coping - do get some help.

TLB, breastfeeding amnesia's common, IME I used to wake up with a start when DS was tiny and frantically pat the bed to try to find him because I was sure I'd fallen asleep feeding him and he'd gone under the covers somewhere. DH even asked me if I wanted him to put DS back in the moses basket once - he walked round the bed to "get him", saw him lying, fast asleep, in the moses basket, grunted "he's already there" and stumbled back to bed. I also used to wonder whether I'd fed him that day (I had) and whether he'd had any clean nappies in the last 24 hours (he had) - I'm not known for my feats of memory usually, but couple that with post-birth sleep deprivation and it's amazing I knew which end of myself to put shoes on (well, bedsocks ).

Am rambling in a sleepy fashion, so will stop! Hope you both have more settled babies tomorrow

Here's an explanation of why established breastfeeding means soft breasts and less squirting and leaking :

• human mummies (unlike other mammals) have fat in their breasts even when not pg or lactating - hence our glorious globular feminine assets are there from puberty onwards...unlike your pet dog or cat

• when you're pg and in the early weeks of bf, you still have some fat in those GGFAs, alongside the milk-making and storing tissue

• as bf gets established, not only do you stop the rampant over-production that is a feature of early bf, but the fat that's in the breasts gets replaced with that tissue....and your breasts may feel softer as a result, 'cos there's not as much fat there (which will be the case until some time after you have stopped bf altogether, as it takes time for the body to replace the fat)

• the breastmilk supply is driven by milk removal, not the hormone prolactin, which is only very slightly elevated from a non-pg, non-bf level after bf becomes established. The breast stores milk very efficiently and replaces it very efficiently when it is removed (not that the breasts are ever empty, but there are times when there is more milk in than other times) and in direct response to the removal....the shorter the gaps between 'visits to the breast' by the baby, the more quickly milk is replaced, and the reverse is true, too, that is, long gaps mean slower milk production

Hope this explains it.

PMSL at GGFAs, Tiktok It's lovely to read your posts again, btw!

Message withdrawn

This explanation also covers the other thing women worry about - where have my GGFAs gone, now I have stopped breastfeeding? And why do I have these spaniel's ears instead?

When the fat comes back, the shape comes back (more or less)...but it can take a little while.

HelenEmjay - hope you had a good night.

Sometimes babies are just fussy!

I recently found out that my dd was actually tired when I thought she was hungry. I tried putting her in her basinett and rocking her. She sometimes drifts off to sleep for a couple of hours at a time during the day (bliss). I think she was getting overtired before. If I put her down at the first sign of tiredness she'll sometimes have a good sleep (SOMETIMES).

GOOD LUCK anyway

God what would i do without you girls!!! - you are all absolutley fantastic!! hunkermunker - i had to laugh at your panicking in case you fell asleep and baby got lost under the blankets, the times i have woken up panicking and thinking the same - having no memory of putting dd back in her cot!

tiktok - you are an endless supply of invaluble information, thankyou, thankyou Dd did sleep better last night - she didnt wake until 11.30, and then 2.30 then 5, which is really really great compared to what we have had which is no sleep at all!!
Thankyou kiwikate - i feel better for some sleep - was beginning to loose the plot i think, and you are right, i think dd,like your ds, was getting over tired, as wheni held her last night, i gave her a quiet little cuddle and just rocked her for 10 minutes and she slept for 5 hours!! - like you all said - she obviously just wanted some mummy time! Im hoping things keep getting easier, i was so upset at everyone suggesting i couldnt cope and i should give up breastfeeding - i really really dont want to but was beggining to believe them, i feel a little smug when they have asked how is she doing, have you switched to formula? telling them NO, and she is ok!

Really glad to hear that you're feeling more rested, HE - a bit of sleep is the most amazing thing when you've not had much, isn't it?

Well done for sticking with it - you're doing brilliantly