Can you explain breastfeeding? Im really not getting it right!

[Helenemjay]

Ive come to the decision that im a complete idiot regarding breastfeeding my dd, she is 8 weeks old and exclusivley breastfed but, im going wrong somewhere, she is having greeny poo's and i svery windy which i know is a sign of too much formilk, but i keep her on the same side as long as possible! If im honest i dont get the breast switching thing - If you have fed baby until she falls asleep then she wakes up 20 minutes later do you resume feeding on the side you just finished on or do you go to the other side? - im so confused

HI Helenemjay,
Sorry things are tough at the moment. I just wanted to say that things will get easier! It does sound as if she is having tummy aches because of eating continually - her tiny tummy won't have time to catch up with itself. But the sucking action is soothing, and makes her feel better, but then the milk she is getting whilst she is sucking is making her feel poorly again... It can be a vicious cycle. If gripe water isn't working for you, maybe try Infacol? Do you have a sling so that she can snuggle up to you that way whilst you walk around - the movement can be soothing too, and at least you might feel a bit more free. Even though it will be hard to break the cycle, getting her into a bit of a loose routine is probably the way to go - she will then be hungry enough to take a full feed in one go, then not need a feed until after a bit of awake time and a nap, giving her digestion enough time to process one lot of milk before the next lot arrives!

On a different tack, I read somewhere that you have a fast let-down on the one side, and you thing dd doesn't like feeding from that side so much. Have you tried feeding her rugby-ball style on that side? That slows the flow slightly, making it more comfy for baby.
Hope that helps a bit!

Helenemjay, my dd is exclusively breast-fed and she has always been windy (although she doesn't normally need winding now she is 15 weeks)and had green poos. The different shades of green were amazing - some quite pretty really! They ranged from spinach green to sage green to yellowy-green. I was worried so spoke to my hv she siad not to worry as she was gaining weight fine but suggested I put her back on the same boob if she needed feeding within an hour and a half from the last feed. I tried this and also cut down on the amount of fruit I was eating and her poos seemed more like the mustardy ones you read about - less green. A few weeks down the line they are greener again but not quite as bad as they had been til i made the changes.

As long as your baby is gaining weight and there is no blood in the poo I don't think there is too much to worry about.

My friend had a poo sample taken from her ds's nappy by her GP because they were green and loose (he was bottle fed). but it came back fine.

Thanks tedebear and jennywren! thats a good idea about the rugby hold, it just might do the trick! Just spoke to my mum, she says get her some baby rice!! im pretty sure she is far too young for all that, but my sister just called and agreed - she put her dd on baby rice at just lunch time when she was 8 weeks old!! Im not going to do this but has anyone else given their lo's baby rice at such a young age?

Thanks fells - she is gaining weight fine, piling it on infact, and her poo's are fine again now, she just squawks all day and night instead! she does like to suck her hand, but tucks her thumb in under her fingers so she cant get at it, otherwise i think she would suck her thumb - this is fine by me! i'd detach my boob and give her that to suck on if i could, while i went and slept for a week!

So we're talking about a baby who was a 'tiny, skinny little thing' at birth...yes? So what might we expect with this sort of a baby? Keen and enthusiastic feeding to build up supply and to catch up with weight, with lots of requests to feed (shown by clear signs of wanting to feed - 'as if she hasn't been fed for a week').

That's what we have!

If she is happy with a breast in her mouth (as you say she is), and is thriving (putting on weight like the clappers - hurrah!), then there is no point in giving gripe water (which is a hassle and which has virtually zero calories and which doesn't, from what you say, actually work in that your baby doesn't change her behaviour). There is even less point in giving baby rice - actively risky at this age (check risks of early solids anywhere on the web) and likely to replace the breastmilk she needs to grow and stay healthy.

Don't worry about foremilk and hindmilk and green poos! Forget about them. Green poo is on the normal spectrum, and babies and mothers sort out their own foremilk and hindmilk stuff just as they did when we didn't know about it.

Life can be easier if you just go with the baby's flow....leave getting a schedule/routine/pattern to later.

Lol you have a point tiktok! maybe i am reading too much into it all! i just would like to know how to make her sleep better, i think she is getting over tired and yellingher head off, and so she is not sleeping at night very well! but i have tried like hell to get her to sleep and feed better in the day and she just squeals ans sobs, my mum thinks she is getting used to being held and nursed and is objecting to being put down! I have to say she may have a point!

Er, yes, your baby is getting used to being held and comforted. She's learning that the world is a good place, that her needs for comfort are being taken seriously, and she has a mother who doesn't like it when she cries.

And this is a bad thing to learn for what reason????

She's only 8 weeks.

In time she will understand the world doesn't revolve around her (how can she appreciate that at 8 weeks?), that mummy has other things and other people in her life (ditto), and that nothing terrible is going to happen if she doesn't feed the instant she wants to. As time goes on, you will help her understand that with your words and your behaviour, and because she will have more understanding of the world by then, she can accept it - as well as taking a greater interest in the world herself, and not needing you at the centre of it all the time.

Research shows that babies whose needs for comfort and reassurance are met in these vital early weeks and months grow up with confidence in their relationships and in themselves - you are supporting your little girl's normal emotional and psychological development by accepting that this is what she is like at the moment. She will not be like this forever!

Oh tiktok, you have such a fantastic way with words! Its put me to shame sat here thinking oh god she's getting used to me lugging her about all the time and sticking a boob in her mouth when she squawks, why is that so easily perceived as being a bad thing? you are right its not! if it makes her happy i would gladly lug her about all the time and stick a boob in when she yells, just as long as she lets me get some sleep at night! plleeeeeeeeeeeease!!!

Have you got a little bouncy chair Helen? I plonk Arthur down in that when he's awake and then I can at least make myself a cup of tea or do some washing, as long as he can hear me or see me he loves it...infact he's just nodded off in it now...

I agree with tiktok its a bit too early for baby rice - I'd sort out her feeding first - nice big feeds and then hopefully :-)) the sleeping will follow - most babies with nice full tummies will sleep a bit better.

I know a lot of people don't advocate routines and that a baby will find their own routine but I put Arthur on a routine from day 1, if you're interested the one I follow is the Baby Whisperer..it has been my saviour...I understand him a lot better now and know when he's tired and when he's hungry from his different cries. Usually its tiredness as he's being a bit naughty with his day time naps at the moment...but when he gets a good feed and a little play time, then usually he does a great 1.5hr nap and I can either have a nap myself or catch up on housework or simply a cup of tea, and email photos of him to everyone whos interested or not :-))

It will get easier either way though..

Aww tedebear your ds sounds like a cutey! i wish i had some idea of when dd would give me just half an hour, she has at last gone to sleep - in a bouncey chair too! - but only because i am sat here tapping it with one foot so its rocking her, i stopped a moment ago to put some toys away and within seconds she was awake again and yelling! i sat and started rocking her again, and she went straight back to sleep! my poor leg is aching!

HE, do you have a sling you can carry her in?

think of it as exercise Helen

Look - here's a radical idea :

Forget about trying to get your baby into a daytime routine and just focus on the stuff that's really getting you down - the frequent waking at night.

Carry her in a sling, one that's comfortable and hands free and just accept that this is what you need to do at the moment, because this is what she needs at the moment.

She'll drop in and out of sleep all day and you will be able to respnd to feeding cues before she gets frantic.

At night, do whatever you need to do to make night wakings easier and settling back quicker. Waking 2 hourly is not off the scale for an 8 week old by any means, but if you stop fighting her needs in the day, you may well find the nights become easier to cope with....

I can hear a panic in all your posts - 'OMG I am losing it, if I don't do X by Y o'clock, the whole day will collapse and I am so tired and oh bloody hell, the baby's woken up, and is that the phone, and my other kids need a story and a chance for mummy time, and oh no, I have got to do Z and if I don't do Z followed by A and B and C, it will be D o'clock and I will really have lost it then........'

A baby who only wants to feed and be cuddled can be the easiest element of all this, truly. And if you allow yourself the indulgence of not trying to fight her in the day, nights may well fall more easily into place.

I agree Alux - I've done the same to help him in the day, in the early weeks when he was waking at night it helped me catch up on well needed zzzzz's...not spoiling in the slightest...

Feed your baby whenever he seems to want it--in other words, follow his cues. According to Dr. William and Martha Sears, RN, IBCLC, "Babies will demonstrate feeding cues for up to 30 minutes before they start crying."* How will you know he is hungry? What are his cues? The following list shows some ways your baby will let you know he needs to nurse:
Pre-Cry Hunger Cues
squirming,
increased alertness or activity,
making rooting motions,
snuggling or rooting at the breast,
clenching his fists by his face,
brushing a hand across his face,
putting his fist in his mouth,
sucking on his hands,
making sucking sounds or little sucking motions,
Late indicator of hunger...
crying

Hiya sorry had to go pick ds1 up from school! well im not too bothered by her every 2 hour wakings - obviously i would prefer she slept longer but when she is awake all night and yelling - that, i cannot cope with! and i would love to sleep in the daytime - it would be fantastic but as luck would have it ds2 has given up his naps in the day so he just runs around my house chucking his cars about! If i just had dd to think about, i would spend all day cuddling her and feeding her on and off until she was happy even if that took weeks! but i have ds1 to pick up from school at 3.10 and i have ds2 to think about and with dp away all week i have to bath them get them to bed on my own while dd scream the house down because im not rocking her or nursing her, im a girl of strong wills i like to think, but i am reaching my limits and feeling the need to run off screaming!

Sorry tiktok - there is highly likely a good level of panic in my voice, i never managed succesful bfeeding with ds1 and gave myself a hard time over it for ages until i had ds2, i fed him for 6 months but it was a bloody nightmare from start to finish and i ended up giving him a bottle of formula every night at 10 to make him sleep and i had guilt over even that! - it made me feel like a failure! (sorry to sound OTT) this time im determined to make a succes of it but im feeling like things are stacking against me!

and bedtime fast approaches again - wish I could come and help you!! Heaven knows you need it!! I've posted whats working for me but as you can see not everyone likes it...I'm trying not to feel badly for instilling routine but I think I'll keep my mouth shut in future...if you want more info send me an email through my nickname I'd love to help...I love my son very much but I also know I need time to myself so I can give him all the love he needs from a happy mum...I do get me time in the days and also at night as he's now sleeping through and waking with a smile...

Good luck and you will get there!!

Helen, you are under pressure, no doubt about it. You've got pressure from your mum (baby rice - hellooooooo???!), your sister's throwing in her two pennorth, so's your dh....and you have two 'older' children who are not really very old at all....plus the pressure from your previous experience and your own determination.

Phew

Keeping the whole show on the road is hard.

My other suggestion (apart from the sling thing and going with the flow):

Decide on what you are going to do that's different, and then stay off mumsnet for a few days while you get on with things.

That way, everyone's suggestions (inc, mine!) won't add to the pressure.

Up to you - I've said my bit, and I think you deserve to give yourself a break from wherever the pressure is coming from.

THANKYOU VERY VERY MUCH EVERYONE!! - I really really really appreciate all your help and suggestions and as muchas you think i may be overwhelmed with lots of different ideas and opinions, i really really do find them all really really helpful! but i think i may have got to the bottom of the problem - is there a possibilty my milk could be drying up?? my mum said it happened to her with my sister, and that its quite common especially if you are a very stressed and busy person! is it possible and if it is, how do i stop it? i dont want to stop bfeeding!

No, not if you're feeding regularly (which you are). Well, possibly it's happened rarely because of a medical condition, but not just because you're stressed and busy.

It's one of the gazillion bfeeding myths that people love to perpetuate to make you feel like you're a lucky weirdo freak for being able to breastfeed past ten minutes. Gah.

You've said yourself, your DD is putting on oodles of weight. How would she do that if not from your milk? Take a deep breath and do as Tiktok says (she's super - listen to her!) - work out what's important to you, work out what's not important, or what you can delegate.

It's definitely definitely not "quite common"!

Hi Helen,
Sounds like you have had some very wise and helpful advice on here, which has also helped me too!My dd is 10 weeks old and much more settled and content to be put down than she was at 8 weeks old. At 8 weeks i felt like you did and felt I was feeding and holding her constantly. Now she will sit and look around and coo to herself and- best of all- fall asleep by herself.
Have to say though the breastfeeding isn't going too well for me either, dd gets unsettled and starts fussing very soon once we start feeding and nearly always requires a 'turn' on each breast to settle her. In the day I am feeding every 3 hrs, sometimes sooner. Most nights she just has one feed, which is good. All the advice you have received has reassured me that she is doing just fine, and to persevere. She is putting weight on too, so no worries there. Is there a breast feeding counsellor in your area you could talk to? It's something I have been thinking about over the last few days, as I can't remember the last time we had a non-fussing feed, and i was worried I didn't have enough milk too. I hope that isn't the case as I too want to continue for as long as possible with the breastfeeding.I was so disappointed to only feed my ds for 3 weeks, just my personal preference, as I didn't really have support from my midwife at the time.

Re your dh, mine has been similar in that he suggests giving her formula, think it's because they can't stand the crying. I know if my dh is holding her and she cries, he 'gives in' a lot sooner than I would and wants to give her back to me, suggesting she MUST be hungry!! He also questioned the volume and even quality of my milk and I told him I needed support not that type of comment. He is much better now.

Good luck with the feeding, hope you manage to get some sleep

Well im going to and your right tiktok is great - i think you are all great! im off to try and get dd to sleep she is rooting like hell and i have absolutley NO milk left whatsoever! i have no idea what im going to do! never mind im sure i'll survive! - wish me luck!