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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfed babies are better behaved says study

302 replies

crikeybadger · 10/05/2011 07:37

Link here if you are interested.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 10/05/2011 16:12

It seems very woolly to me. Bit too vague. It will jsut make ff mothers guilty.

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 17:45

"My 3 are just like me,hated being meddled with."

Is 'being held' the same as being 'meddled with'?

I don't think so.

"Great you liked to hold yours for hours, I didn't.Many mums work,many have siblings to care for or have multiples like me."

MilaMae, I suspect that what you're actually trying to do here is stereotype mums who breastfeed as self-indulgent, middle-class tree huggers. You forget that most women around the world breastfeed, and work, and have much larger families than we do here in the UK. I live in a very ethnically diverse area where we have breastfeeding initiation rates that are well above the national average. That's because these mums - the African and Asian mums, almost all choose to breastfeed. They're not all 'tree-huggers'. Well, some of them might be. But the rest of them are ordinary women - like me and like you.

I held my babies because they wanted to be held. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed by it - but that's motherhood for you. Would also point out that I worked and studied and had children that are very close in age, so was having to cope with the school run, a toddler, and a baby who wanted to be fed a lot. And part time work. And study. And volunteering.

"The fact is feeding choices will have very little impact on how much a baby is held compared to the various other reasons."

It's not a fact. It's your opinion! The only thing I can think of other than feeding that impacts at a population level on how much a baby is held is a) whether they're a multiple or b) whether the mother has to go back to work straight away. The other variables (such as how much contact a baby or mother WANTS) apply just as much to bf as to ff babies.

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 17:48

"mother's who can't breastfeed shouldn't feel guilty"

Blah, blah, blah, blah. If I pick up one more celebrity baby guide that includes this sentence as a sort of jolly summary of the whole issue of how you feed your baby, I may well do something violent. Angry

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 17:54

Thats right Spud of course I'm trying to sterotype bf mums,err why exactly? Hmm.

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 18:08

Seriously - your comments about breastfeeding imply that it's only possible for women who have NO LIFE other than feeding their baby. Who are patient, earth mothery types with all the time in the world, and nothing better to do with it. Whereas presumable the no-nonsense, busy, NORMAL mothers haven't got time for all that so bottlefeed instead.

Actually Mothers who breastfeed fall into all camps - some are young and slutty, some are super-efficient business women, some are 'lentil weavers'. They don't choose to breastfeed because it suits their image and their personality. They choose to breastfeed overwhelmingly because they believe it's best for their baby.

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 18:15

Ahhhh because I disagree with you.

Golly you are superwoman,cuddling babies all day,school run,toddlers,work,school run,volunteering.....and you can mind read.

It's funny little old me(and plenty like me) just find having a shower tricky to fit in with a newborn let alone all the rest in your jam packed schedule.

Obviously you've got more than 12 hours in your day or maybe eeeek you're a much better mum.

some mums find newborns easier than others,there being differences in mum personality,baby personality life circumstances and all.

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 18:17

Most women choose to do it in the first few days, think you'll find there's slightly more to breast feeding than making a simple choice.

Bonsoir · 10/05/2011 18:25

MilaMae - I really would like to get to the bottom of the issue of the difficulty of having a shower when you have a newborn. Can you elaborate?

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 18:27

101 things to do,you get to bedtime and realise you haven't showered

Bonsoir · 10/05/2011 18:31

But why not? What is the problem? You get up in the morning after a lazy breastfeed in bed, stick sleepy baby in Moses basket (or bouncy chair), stick said Moses basket or bouncy chair on the bathroom floor and have a bath (easier than a shower) while chatting to your babe...

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 18:38

Errrr what about feeding younger siblings breakfast,changing the inevitable nappy explosion,putting the first 2 washing loads of the day on,getting packed lunches ready,putting the bins out,hanging the washing out,dressing said siblings...... (assuming said baby is happy to go in said moses basket at the allotted time ) all before 8 o clock.

After that there's the minimal bit of cleaning you have to do to stave off mice like ploughing the breakfast cereal off the floor,meals to prepare,buy food for,more washing to get in ,hang out,babies to feed,younger siblings to amuse,keep safe,feed, change etc,etc,etc.

Obviously there is far more to contend with in a full day of motherhood but you get my drift.

Bonsoir · 10/05/2011 18:41

Apart from dealing with siblings, I wouldn't do any chores before having a bath and getting dressed...

GoingLoopyLou · 10/05/2011 18:44

MilaMae you are spot on!

"lazy breastfeed in bed" and " have a bath while chatting to your babe"?? Ha! In what dreamworld is this?...

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 18:51

"Errrr what about feeding younger siblings breakfast,changing the inevitable nappy explosion......" etc, etc.

So how does bottlefeeding make this situation easier? Unless you have someone else to feed your baby for you. In which case I'd rather feed the baby myself and have someone else do the chores.

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 18:53

"lazy breastfeed in bed" and " have a bath while chatting to your babe"??

GoingLoopyLou - err, I've got three kids and a dog and a big, filthy four bedroom house and I used to do this.

Bonsoir · 10/05/2011 18:56

You can read stories or chat to younger siblings while having a lingering breastfeed in bed. I always found breastfeeding highly compatible with multi-tasking. Sadly the school run is a lot less flexible!

TheRtHonCountessOfBapula · 10/05/2011 18:57

There was a study the other week that said that babies who cry a lot in early infancy are more likely to develop behavioural problems than those who don't.

DS spent much of the first four months of his life screaming his head off. He is also still breastfed at 7.5 months. So hopefully the two factors will cancel each other out Confused Grin

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 19:01

Countess, have you found breastfeeding a useful tool for soothing him?

My youngest was quite high-intensity as a baby. Used to cry at high volume in the car if we got stuck in a traffic jam. Shock

Don't know what I would have done if I couldn't have breastfed him. It was just a pain in the car that I couldn't fling my boobs over my shoulders into the back seat and keep him quiet until we could get home!

DilysPrice · 10/05/2011 19:03

Good thread for a change.

I suspect there may be something in the theory about the sort of mother who can overcome initial difficulties with bf.
Obviously some women decide from day 1 to FF, some find BF a breeze from day 1, and some experience completely insurmountable difficulties, and if you're in those groups then it doesn't say anything about you as a person.

But there are a lot of women who have difficulties which are surmountable but only with a combination of bloody minded determination, social support, and the knowledge and ability to access outside support. Continuing bf to 4 months if you're in that group is a sign that you have those characteristics and social capital, and they will probably stand your child in good stead in other contexts as well.

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 19:06

Bonsoir think we live in different worlds.

Stories pmsl, reading stories leisurely in bed. The only thing I'd have liked to have done in bed aside from bf in those early days was sleep of which there was precious little.There you go knew there were plenty other vital things I left off my to do list.

The Rht ditto dtwin2,worry not.Dtwin2 is the swottiest swot of swotville,he's made door monitor,book monitor,pencil monitor....... Seriously do not worry.

Spudulika · 10/05/2011 19:20

"Bonsoir think we live in different worlds."

I did the 'leisurely bf in bed', and I've got three children.

How do you think your world might differ from mine and Anna's MilaMae?

Can't speak for Anna, but on my part I've had no help at home, have a four bedroom house, have to do school run, plus walk dog etc.

TheRtHonCountessOfBapula · 10/05/2011 19:30

Spudulika - yes, very much so. DS is also a dreadful sleeper and I've been tempted to FF just so I can get some rest, but BF does get me out of a lot of sticky situations, especially as he has always refused to take a dummy Hmm

He is a very happy, smiley little chap now and I've grown to really enjoy BF so it's worked out well in that respect.

Interestingly, re the discussions about 'challenging' babies being harder to BF - obviously this is anecdotal, but DS was always a good feeder despite being a nightmare in many other respects.

LOL at wishing you could fling a boob over the backseat of the car - I have often wished the same!

TheRtHonCountessOfBapula · 10/05/2011 19:31

MilaMae LOL at 'pencil monitor' Grin v sweet.

MilaMae · 10/05/2011 19:31

You're just superwoman Spud or maybe you had babies that didn't take as long to bf,cried less,settled more,you're more patient,find babies easier etc,etc

Gosh maybe some of just don't try hard enough,of course that must be it Hmm

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