MILs strange facination with BFing

[malachysmum]

Hmmm, I come from a family of formula feeders and have been BFing my DS for 6.5 months. My family don't live nearby. Which is not all that exciting really.

On taking DS home the whole BFing thing just happened pretty smoothly and there hasn't been any real issues. I read what to Expect in The First Year and felt fine about the whole thing.

Hmmm...MIL felt the need to walk in on me after my first week when bedroom door was shut and my top off to say "so I can advise about breast feeding" to which she was curtly told that I was fine.
When she stayed to help, she kept walking in the bedroom when the door was closed offering cups of tea, I think I sorted that dilemma by yelling at her angrily that I am getting changed.

A couple of months later I asked to see photos of DH to compare them to DS, she couldn't locate any but PILs found video which I haven't watched because DH was being BF on it.

Last weekend she stayed and when I fed DS she was telling me what boob I last fed him from. I ignored this information.

Ok, she is weird isn't she?? But I know I may have to rely upon to look after DS when he grows up possibly and don't want to have a proper confrontation about this as it does make me feel uncomfortable talking about it and I do know her intenion is to be helpful. But FFS.

Any tips anyone, or am I just being spineless? Or similiar stories to commiserate with.

sorry see the similarities..

my mum does this, but then she also finds excuses to come into the bathroom when I am in the bath. I definitely have different ideas to her regarding boundaries.

malachysmum I don't think you are bonkers - everyone has boundaries and often they are in different places on all sorts of topics.

I don't think you're crazy either, but I've a feeling we're not getting the full picture. I'm a private person and would be very pissed off if my MIL walked into my room without knocking. But I think you must have other issues with her for the remembering sides to bother you so much? Do you miss having your own family around?

I don't think you're bonkers either.
I think that you are holding onto the incident well over six months ago, when you should definitely let it go.
I think that you should try not to focus on this issue, because it seems - from the outside - not a significant issue at all. Pretty harmless really. She is not criticising, or forcing her views on you, or damaging or hurting you or your family at all. Just try and get it into perspective, and focus on the fact that she is interested in you, in your family and your child. That's a good thing, really and if you feel like shouting at her, or getting angry, or being curt with her again, then maybe try and hold it in and focus on the positives of her relationship(s) with your family.

I don't think you're crazy OP.

Everyone has their own boundaries and usually people can read someone's body language to see where they are. I do think your MIL is trying to be helpful, however she should definitely NOT have come through a closed bedroom door without knocking. In fact, I would have expected her to knock even if your door had been open/ajar.

I think you may have to be a bit clearer with your PIL about respecting your privacy. I don't think they are being weird though. I just think they have a different comfort level when it comes to sharing and are obviously delighted you are bf their grandchild.

I don't think you're bonkers, either. However, I do think that maybe you and your DH have more issues surrounding BF than your MIL does. You just need to have a quiet word with her about what your comfort zone is, don't you think? I do think she sounds like she is absolutely trying to support you, however odd it may seem to you.

BTW, I would have loved a MIL who actively supported breastfeeding. Mine was all about the bottles, despite me never actually having had any problems that might have made them a better option.