Baby always wakes up crying :(

[marzipananimal]

This may not be a feeding related issue but thought I'd post here anyway to benefit from you lovely knowledgable types :)

DS is nearly 19 weeks old, ebf. Nights are pretty terrible at the mo (and have been deteriorating for about the last 5 weeks). I don't think it's generally hunger that's waking him, although I do feed him frequently in the night. He used to start shuffling and grunting, I'd wake and feed him, he'd go back to sleep. Almost never cried in the night. Now he often starts crying a few mintues after going to sleep. Sometimes white noise will send him back off, sometime a cuddle, and sometimes only a feed will do. He wakes crying even if he's in the bed with me (he normally sleeps in his cot right next to my bed).

He also almost always wakes crying from a nap and can often only be soothed by feeding even when I'm sure he's not really hungry. I've watched him and he'll start squirming in his sleep, then crying (eyes still shut) and won't stop even on being picked up and cuddled. Once he's calmed down though he's a very smiley and cheerful little thing and never really cries when awake unless he's tired.

I have no idea what's causing this but am finding it really upsetting :(

Any ideas?

ooh my DS does this, he looks asleep but only feeding will stop him crying! I'd like to know the answer too!

Maybe it's just hunger, DS does this although he's only 10week's. He always wakes during the day crying and wants feeding asap. He's not doing this at night but we co-sleep so don't know if that makes a differences.

I don't think it's hunger normally (probably is sometimes) as he'll do it even if he's only been asleep a short time and had a big feed and came off by himself just before the nap.

Sympathies cookiemonster, how old is your ds?

Sounds normal to me. It sounds like you're definitely in the 4 month sleep regression (see here, here, here and here for more info), which could be part of it.

It can sometimes be to do with not being able to settle themselves between sleep cycles. My DS wakes crying from a nap if he needs to sleep for longer but needs help to get back off again. (Often only feeding works to do this.) The same thing can happen at night - they wake and cry because they need help to get back off again

I'm not so sure about the crying soon after he's gone to sleep, unless it's to do with the regression. That should calm down a bit around 19 weeks, so hopefully you may see an improvement there.

I wrote a long response to this earlier but then DS slapped the keyboard and I lost it...

Anyway, the gist of what I said was exactly what AngelDog said in her second paragraph: that the baby wants to go back to sleep, but doesn't have the ability to do it himself. We knew when DS (now 13 months) had napped enough because he'd wake fully and be gurgling and happy. We'd know when he hadn't because he'd let out a horrible wail, eyes still closed, face screwed up - I agree, it was deeply upsetting to see. The most reliable way to soothe him and get him back to sleep before he woke fully was to scoop him up and plonk him on a boob for a brief nibble so he could continue with the rest of his nap. I spent a lot of last summer with a sleeping baby on my lap...

So no helpful advice, sorry, but you have my sympathy, as it's so sad to see your baby upset like that, particularly when you're not sure why. DS still wakes after precisely 30 minutes of napping, and sometimes cries out (but not in that heart-rending way he did when he was littler) but usually goes back off for another half hour with a bit of pram-jiggling, shushing, rocking or something. Never have to get the boobs involved now to resettle - that's progress, of sorts....

thanks guys, yes definitely 4 month sleep regression here (not that sleep was particularly good before!)

I have definitely noticed the sleep cycles thing, he usually needs resettling after 45 mins sleep, but he also does it at other times - a few minutes after falling asleep or after a longer nap. I suppose there must be something disturbing him but no way of knowing what.

When did your DS grow out of it mummagumma?

Last night was a bit better though - I got 3.5 hours unbroken sleep! (and some other bits)

Glad you had a better night. I'm slightly at 3.5 unbroken hours but my 12 m.o. is suffering with his teeth. :(

I was thinking about this, and I realised that the crying when needing resettling is often worse for my DS during a sleep regression. I do know other babies who wake after 15 mins or so during regressions so that might be it.

When my DS struggled to stay asleep at the start of naps, I used to stay by him and pat him every time he twitched. It soon improved - might be worth a try. That was around 6 months though.