stopping bf?

[vsmuma]

I know this has come up before but could someone please give me some advice on stopping bfing my 20 week old. We had a difficult start with him in SCBU 2 weeks and being tube fed but we managed to get through that and managed to bf. The problem now is that he has never come out of demand feeding and he is almost 5 months old, this wouldn?t be too bad but I have an 18month old as well. He was weighed yesterday and they said he has gone from the 75th to 25th and I now just don?t know what to do.

I have started to give him some ff?s but he wont always take it and wants me to feed him. I think I want to go over to just ff?s now because with the drop and constant feeding I think I need to go over to f. it is to early to start weaning him, so I need to go over to bottles.

I recently lost a fair amount of weight myself, so I also feel quit guilty. Oh and as I just finished typing this he just through up half the bottle I managed to get him to take. He has never been sick with BFing. Aahh!

vsmama - it has come up before but these situations are so very individual you can't always apply someone else's 'solution' to your own. Can you call one of the breastfeeding helplines to talk to someone? They should not try to get you to stick with bf, but listen to you and help you work through the different options.

There are a number of reasons which have made you think of stopping, and deciding which ones are most important/relevant will help you, I think.

The weight is a non-issue - a fall from 75th to 25th is within normal in a healthy baby and should not be a cause for concern.

Your own weight loss is a non-issue - I'm assuming the 'feel guilty' stuff is because you think this impacts on your bf? Well - it won't :) No way, no how.

Demand feeding - by which you mean he feeds still a bit unpredictably? - is still normal at this age (or any) but it's reasonable for you to think of ways to regularise things to enable you to spread yourself out a bit more fairly to include the toddler. This is something you could ask a breastfeeding counsellor about - it might include starting an evening routine where you bath them together, whisking the baby out the water to bf him 'bathside' while the toddler has more playtime....that sort of practical, family-centred suggestion might emerge from a conversation.

If you decide to stop, you'd need to do it gradually - it might be you could continue to six months, and see if solids add a structure. Or start solids now - unless you have any allergy suspicions 6 weeks is no big deal, IMO - and see if giving them helps you regularise his pattern.

You also need to think if you want to stop bf completely, or if using formula alongside some bf would suit you.

Hope this helps!

Tiktok thank you so much, I really love this thread everyone is much nicer and always willing to offer advice or really just listen. I think I will phone a support line, I haven?t done it before but I think it would be best to discuss the whole situation with someone else.

I feel guilty about loosing my weight because everyone, apart from my DH keeps saying ?DS is probably not getting what he needs because you are loosing weight? my DH says he doesn?t think my weight lose is doing any damage because I was eat too much rubbish before and now I?m eating less and healthier. My MIL thinks my DS drop co-insides with my weight loss.

I say demand feeding because he seems to be constantly hungry and it feels as if all I do is feed him and then in the space in between I have to try (and fail)to clean my house ect and I feel as if I don?t have anytime left to just ?play? with my babies.

I think he is too little for solids because he was 6 weeks early. I didn?t want to start weaning until 6 months and I wanted to do baby led weaning, but I also didn?t want to give up BF until at least 12 months but I think I am comfortably re-evaluating this position.

Hope you find some good help.

Your MIL is 100 per cent wrong.

Why is she as involved as this, making comments about your diet and DS's weight??!

There is a ton of good, research-based evidence that shows maternal diet has no impact on babies' growth and health.

Hi vsmuma

Just wanted to say that although I had DS2 in a routine from around 5 weeks (I fed 3 hourly, he never demanded before then), at around 4.5 months it all went to pot and he just wanted to feed more than normal, and I was demand feeding, very often from 4.5 months to 5.5 months (when I went back to work, started weaning, introduced bottles during day etc).

I think demand feeding that 5 months very normal. Adding solids for us at 24 weeks, added structure as he could go longer between milk feeds.

If you do want to stop, the best way is to cut down one feed at a time, say every 3-4 days to avoid becoming engorged.

tiktok I don?t think my mil way being horrible I think she was just trying to rationalize things a bit, she bf her children and had no problems and my DH and BIL both look almost obese as babies

I think I?m going to mix feed until 6 months and see what happens after weaning.

MumNWLondon my DS has never had an structure or even hinted at a routine or wanting to leave space of more than about 20mins between feeds, so this isn?t some dramatic change. I will not wean until 6 months as I know my DS isn?t ready and as he has a heart problem and was early, I will not rush him. But thank you for sharing your experience and advice on stopping BF.