Nursery wants me to stop bf- wwyd?

[mrsgordonfreeman]

Well, just that. DD will be 1 in a week or so, and has just started at nursery 2 afternoons a week and I go back to work next week.

Both the carers in the baby room have told me to stop bf as they say she will settle better with them. I leave her with a beaker of ebm which she drinks happily. I think they are talking cack, frankly, she settles fine with her grandma.

What can I say to them? I do not want to wean her for the sake of a few hours a week.

I suspect that she is groping them and trying to get a feed, which she does to anyone (including a 6 year old girl ) on the off chance. However, I doubt stopping bf this week will solve that.

i agree with you. they're talking utter crap.

They're talking bolleaux.

Tell them to mind their own and do their jobs.

They know very little about breastfeeding, normal infant development, and emotional well-being, and relationships...unless they are very junior, and thus not reflecting the ethos of the nursery, then this would be grounds (to me) for not using their services.

I would pull her out. If they are so opposed to breastfeeding that they have asked you, the person who is paying their fucking wages, to stop, there is no way on earth she will get given your EBM. They will squeamishly pour it down the sink and your baby will be given water or cows milk, and they just won't tell you.

I knew a nursery worker who told me this quite cheerfully with a justification of "Urghhh it's disgusting anyway!"

Bollards. DD was still breast fed when she started fulltime nursery at 10 months. We were down to morning/evening only and occasional daytime feeds when she was ill. It was no problem and nursery even encouraged me to come in if I wanted to feed in the day - I didn't

If she has trouble settling it won't be because of the breast feeding. (Some people warn that kids who only go to nursery a couple of times a week take longer to settle but I don't know anything about that really...)

how very dare they!!!!!!!!

I have heard about mil's talking people out of continuing past a year, an employer not being helpful, but a child care provider?

Just how do they think changing a very major thing in her life (being bf) and starting nursery will be helpful?

I'd find a better place for her to go, but that is possibly because I am so shocked (does it show?)

My dd went to childcare from 1 and was bf till 4, so it is possible

Rant over

Tell them to sod off!

She's only just started there and they 'know' better than you??

I'd respectfully tell them that they should work out a way of settling her without you stopping bf. Failing that, I'd be moving her.

Colditz

Should I have a word with the manager?

He was a bit taken aback when I mentioned that she would have ebm and cloth nappies when i first toured the place.

This is a nursery in a posh bit of north London! I've given up on the cloth but this has pissed me off.

I honestly wouldn't send her. They will nod and smile and they will tip it down the sink and you will never know.

I think a word with the manager would be appropriate - they should include EBM in whatever written policy they have on drinks sent in from home, anyway.

To be honest, if the manager raised an eyebrow before, there may well be a culture of 'bf beyond X months is weird and makes babies clingy' or some such rubbish, but only a chat with the manager would help you work this out.

After that, it depends if you are bothered about being thought weird or not!

I too suspect they are thinking of their convenience over your dd's best interests.

Very odd behaviour - I don't think ff babies settle quicker than bf ones.

Definitely have a word with the manager.

I went to look at a couple of nurseries last week. They were ok about ebm, a bit surprised by my plans for BLW, but I got the biggest from the woman when I mentioned cloth nappies! I think that was one step too far from what I suppose is their 'normal'.

I figured if my DD went there, I'd be the hippy mom!

Oh, blw! DD won't be spoon fed, prefers to be given the spoon. They're still trying despite my telling them to just load the spoon, hand it to her and duck.

Far more fussed about the bf tho.

That a load of crap!

My DD2 started nursery at 12months and BF she wouldnt even have solids at all, nursery was completely supportive, she had cows milk or EBM in cup at nursery and settled fine!

Have a word with the manager, its not on.

tell them to piss off. i wouldn't use this nursery if this is the kind of thinking they advocate

Is it a Sure Start? That is grounds for a complaint to Baby Friendly Initiative (whatever that Unicef thing is called).

Where is it? (nosy emoticon)

Not Sure Start, it's a chain with a good reputation, in fact I checked on mn beforehand.

It's in mill hill.

Complain anyway. ofsted should have something to say.

I would find another nursery and log an official complaint.
dd is still breastfed and in nursey full time. no problems whatsoever. she is the fist bf baby there but they are very supportive.

That is dreaful.
I would talk to the manager for sure and tell him that you are considering pulling your daughter out.

Though in your shoes I'd probably just bin the nursery and let them know why after the event.
WHy dont you name and shame on here?

I would not use this nursery. If your DD has any problems settling, they're just going to blame the breast-feeding.

I think DS's nursery might think I'm a bit of a hippy weirdo for using cloth nappies, being vegetarian and making no attempt to potty train until DS was 3 but in all cases, they've been really supportive and helpful and have accomodated our parenting choices to the best of their abilities - which is what any good nursery should do.

Anyway, if they are telling you to stop breast-feeding (not just saying they can't give ebm, but that you have to wean altogether - fucking cheek!) and won't use cloth nappies, they'll probably undermine you in other ways.

In doing so they are breaching several principles of the Early Years Foundation Stage, the statutory curriculum for 0-5.

Here, from the 'Themes and Commitments' overview:

A Unique Child:
'The diversity of individuals and communities is valued and respected.'

Positive Relationships:
'Every interaction is based on caring professional relationships and respectful acknowledgement of the feelings of children and their families.'

Not to mention the 'Be Healthy' strand of Every Child Matters: all settings have to support and work towards optimum health outcomes for the children in their care. Breastmilk is the healthiest drink for your baby (not to mention the health benefits for you) and recommended by the WHO up to 2 years of age, so by telling you to stop they are telling you to compromise his/her and your own health.

These are all legally binding frameworks for nurseries and childcare settings.

Complain, vigorously.

Definitely complain!