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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Nursery wants me to stop bf- wwyd?

78 replies

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 11:58

Well, just that. DD will be 1 in a week or so, and has just started at nursery 2 afternoons a week and I go back to work next week.

Both the carers in the baby room have told me to stop bf as they say she will settle better with them. I leave her with a beaker of ebm which she drinks happily. I think they are talking cack, frankly, she settles fine with her grandma.

What can I say to them? I do not want to wean her for the sake of a few hours a week.

I suspect that she is groping them and trying to get a feed, which she does to anyone (including a 6 year old girl Blush) on the off chance. However, I doubt stopping bf this week will solve that.

OP posts:
colditz · 20/10/2010 20:46

get her out
get her out
get her out.

no breast feeding. Pureed pizza.

GET HER OUT.

rubyslippers · 20/10/2010 20:50

Jesus wept

They want you to stop breastfeeding

But they will feed a child of one who could eat pizza (or at least gum it) pureed pizza

I bet you are paying £££££ if the nursery is in north London

It sounds awful

FranknCock · 20/10/2010 21:01

I'd take my DS out of any nursery that told me not to BF. As it happens, our nursery was excellent with this and with BLW. They were willing to learn new things and adapt to DS's needs, even though BLW wasn't something they were too sure about. I left them the Gill Rapley book for a few weeks and lots of the staff had a quick dip in to see what it was all about.

FranknCock · 20/10/2010 21:03

Oh OP, meant to say, DS started nursery at 8 months and for about the 1st month he'd let them know he wanted his EBM bottles by dipping his head toward their chests! They thought it was quite funny, and he did stop doing it eventually.

Wish I could get him to stop rummaging around in my top though Hmm

wouldliketoknow · 20/10/2010 21:05

ok, let's see if i got this right...
1- they made you give up cloth nappies, because spending money and resources in disposible ones is much better, surely...
2- they want you to stop breastfeeding, because obviously breast milk is not the best thing for your child.
3- pizza is much better, you see, pureed of course, from dominos or pizza hut, because they wouldn't be doing it from scratch, the hassle...
4- you keep her in there still just to find out what is the next thing you will have to give up because it is such a good nursery.

seriously?

MoonUnitAlpha · 20/10/2010 21:10

Pureed pizza sounds grim, and just plain weird to give to a 1 year old! Even if they're spoonfeeding, you spoon feed things like shepherds pie or yoghurt - pizza is finger food!

wouldliketoknow · 20/10/2010 21:13

moon, think of the mess, instead if you tie up their little arms and spoonfeed them,... you don't have to clean the floor and furniture later...

Original poster
mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 22:57

That's a little unfair, the pizza was made from scratch, and the carer was doing it because dd has no teeth: that is a little unusual for a one year old.

But, yes, I was Shock at that one. It was done with good intentions and they have been letting her spoon feed herself, so it's not about mess.

As for the cloth nappies, I'll have another go with those. I confused the carers by providing disposables too. I don't think they will be unhelpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 23:09

I'm so depressed now at the exhortations to leave immediately.

She's started to settle in, everyone seems to have her best interests at heart, it's just that a couple of members of staff are relatively new and misguided.

I thought it best to tackle one thing at a time, and leave if it doesn't seem to improve.

I do trust them to take care of her. To go elsewhere would mean starting all over again.

Am I wrong?

OP posts:
louii · 20/10/2010 23:16

Nothing helpful to add, but pureed pizza? That is beyond grim.

maktaitai · 20/10/2010 23:17

No, I don't think you're wrong. Go with your gut, the trust thing. And keep chipping away to build a relationship with them. Be nosey.

tiktok · 20/10/2010 23:18

Aw, mrsgordon - it's for you to decide if the nursery's good points outweigh the bad, for you to judge if they will respect you and follow your wishes....not the random strangers off the internet!

If your dd is happy there and you like the people, despite any perceived shortcomings, then that counts for a lot.

GingerCursedEeeee · 20/10/2010 23:18

They are talking bollocks and are incredibly ignorant and unprofessional on so many levels! I would be looking for an alternative nursery/CM and I would expect to be released from any contractual obligation to them. Disgraceful.

And you are doing a bloody good job btw, BF is lovely and if you are both still enjoying it, don't let anything put you off! I hope I will still be BFing at that stage.

GingerCursedEeeee · 20/10/2010 23:18

Oh sorry, cliche here!

Theincrediblesulk1 · 20/10/2010 23:26

Just say no! they cant ask you to do that!

Frrrrightattendant · 21/10/2010 07:01

MrsGF, it's good if you feel they are trying hard however please don't feel obliged to take up the slack for what seem to be some significant areas of shortcoming.

It's not your problem to put up with inadequate staff awareness while they attempt to train these people - didn't they study childcare at college or something?

basically what's she/he doing employing people without the relevant knowledge.

It isn't your problem and as someone else said - what on earth is being forgotten or got wrong behind closed doors?

I hope you are right to keep her there and that it is a whole bunch better than it sounds but tbh it doesn't sound that good.

Sorry.

mousymouse · 21/10/2010 08:44
  • seriously thinking of hugging the staff at my dc's nursery tonight -

dd is blw - no problem
dd is bf - no problem
reusable wipes - no problem

warthog · 21/10/2010 08:56

oh jolly good mousymouse.

BornToFolk · 21/10/2010 09:56

You're not wrong. You know your child best and you know the nursery best. We've only heard a very few things about the nursery but if you are happy with her care and think that you can work through the issues, then of course, leave her there.

littleducks · 21/10/2010 10:07

I would really worry that the nursery nurses think that you need teeth to chew, its not that unusual for babies at 1 to have no teeth, dd only had about 2/3 at 15 months and when you start chatting to people about it lots of babies are similar.

I would hope that at a good nursery would be reassuring parents that teeth bears no relation to chewing, as the trained professionals. My nursery is fab, i honestly would be worried by the attitudes you are coming up against especially with a (presumerably) non-verbal child.

Original poster
mrsgordonfreeman · 21/10/2010 15:04

Just to be clear, the stopping bf suggestion was from the carers in the baby room, NOT from the management or supervisory staff. When I reported it, the manager was genuinely shocked. I found her reaction reassuring.

The staff are very positive and when I explained that she can and does chew, that was taken on board. I will also make a note in her diary for them.

She's only been there 4 times so far, we still have to get to know each other and they her.

All the staff are qualified to NVQ levels at least. I think what is lacking in one particular individual is depth of experience. She does mean well: she wanted to make sure DD had eaten something and, as I've said, was allowing her to feed herself with the spoon.

I won't name the nursery (it does not yet deserve shame) but it is related to hard working apiary inhabitants. No doubt you can work it out from there.

Anyway, I spotted a tooth nugget this morning, so maybe DD will have sprouted a little fang by next Tuesday.

OP posts:
wouldliketoknow · 21/10/2010 17:46

just make sure you are comfortable with what they do and how they do it, as far as dd and you are happy nothing else matters.

give the cloth nappies another try, i used them and never looked back, there are thread of support if you have any queries, i did while pregnant and they put my mind at rest, and gave me lots of tips.

theidsalright · 21/10/2010 21:43

IMO the basics are that if they don't understand this #1 fundamental parenting choice then this will be the first of many potential problems...Your childs nutrition and relationship with YOU will affect the rest of their life.

Surely a good nursery puts the baby/child first and their convenience/views second??

Frrrrightattendant · 22/10/2010 07:25

Your DD is not 'just another baby', to you, but to them, she is.

this is probably the case to some degree in most nurseries (all nurseries) but you really want to minimise it.

I would be concerned about the other ways they will be applying this attitude. It isn't about experience, it's about recognising from the off that each child and each parent will have different requirements...making it easier for them to settle her basically means they've been taught how to settle a baby who has not been breastfed, end of.

Your child to them is an anomaly. I would anticipate their not being entirely sympathetic to her.

I hope this isn't the case but it really would worry me. Plus if they have little experience that isn't too great in itself. What do they do if she doesn't 'settle'? Leave her crying?

sux2bu · 22/10/2010 08:34

Hello there

My DD went full-time to nursery aged one. I didn't express milk for her, just fed her before drop off 7.30 and at pick up 4pm. Let them give her cow's milk/water/juice during day.

I was still bf 15 mths later (yes i know but milk supply was like a cow's and i never got engorged at work so it was pure laziness on my part tbh not to make her go cold turkey sooner ;-)

Point being: it made no difference whatsoever to her settling or not. I have recently been doing childcare and often babies nuzzle/search for milk and one of the toddlers always tries to put his hand in my bra. It is no big deal.

I can (only because I do it for a living in a creche) understand why disposables are easier for the staff tbh. and for the setting even if completely bad envirinmentally.

My DD had teeth (ouch don't remind me!) and was eating as well as bf 'proper' food potato, beans, pasta at 7 months but her nursery did do not pureed as such but very soft organic mush a lot of the time. Again no biggie.

So...if your child is now settled i personally wouldn't disrupt it esp if she seems happy. I wouldn't stop bf but nor would i give them expressed milk unless there are allergies with cow's. She'll still get the benefit of your milk later same as follow on milk won't detract from bm either.

Don't stress about the teeth, they'll come when they come. At least they're not choking her with big bits of pizza base. My DD has only lost 2 milk teeth (now 8 1/2) it's fine.

You're doing fine.

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