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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Nursery wants me to stop bf- wwyd?

78 replies

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 11:58

Well, just that. DD will be 1 in a week or so, and has just started at nursery 2 afternoons a week and I go back to work next week.

Both the carers in the baby room have told me to stop bf as they say she will settle better with them. I leave her with a beaker of ebm which she drinks happily. I think they are talking cack, frankly, she settles fine with her grandma.

What can I say to them? I do not want to wean her for the sake of a few hours a week.

I suspect that she is groping them and trying to get a feed, which she does to anyone (including a 6 year old girl Blush) on the off chance. However, I doubt stopping bf this week will solve that.

OP posts:
EssieW · 20/10/2010 13:54

Ignore them. Your child.

I breastfed DS for a few months after putting him in nursery. He fairly quickly dropped the daytime feeds anyway so it wasn't a big issue.

I also insisted that they use cloth nappies. They didn't have a problem with this. Nobody complained about it (to my face at least!).

This was also an expensive nursery in north London - but not Mill Hill.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/10/2010 13:54

I wouldn't use this nursery, would look for another one which didn't employ idiot girls who think it is a appropriate to tell a mother to stop breastfeeding.

Seriously, if that is the kind of attitude they show to your face, what do they think and how do they act behind closed doors?

My SIL started using a nursery at 4 months and she breasfed until her baby was a year, the nursery were fine with it.

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 20/10/2010 13:56

OMG....How ludicrous.

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 15:33

I don't want to remove her immediately as it's really conveniently located and has a good reputation.

However, I will go and have a word with the manager this evening if possible, or arrange a meeting.

TBH I am less fussed about the possibility that they're tipping ebm down the sink than the fact that they think she'll be easier to settle. Perhaps they just want to be able to pacify her with a bottle of formula?

(Because that'll be a laugh, she doesn't drink from bottles and never has.)

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 20/10/2010 15:41

DS, and both of his best friends at nursery were all breastfed until 2, and all settled in fine as babies. They just have to find their own way of settling them - ds apparently always had a muslin as a baby which he never did at home

MoonUnitAlpha · 20/10/2010 15:46

They sound lazy (and unprofessional) - can't be bothered to help her settle so instead are blaming it on you making her clingy.

I worked in a nursery and we never used milk to pacify babies anyway. Feeding method made no difference to how they settled.

Poledra · 20/10/2010 15:46

And, as to the groping, well, I stopped bfeeding 2.4yo DD3 about 10 months ago, and she still likes to stuff her hand down my bra (or her CM's bra. Or grandma's...well, you get the picture!).

SeriousWispaHabit · 20/10/2010 15:57

Definitely complain but TBH I would find somewhere else. DD1 went 1 day a week from 12 months and they were fine with BF. They were also completely unfazed by BLW and cloth nappies (to my face anyway). Surely part of running a nursery means coming across a whole range of parenting styles/choices and they should be able to continue and support those for the hours that they are being paid to care for your child.

PrettyCandles · 20/10/2010 16:05

FGS it's absolutely none of their business! Plus, of course, their opinion of how shd will settle is absolutely total rubbish.

togarama · 20/10/2010 16:07

They sound young and ignorant. Have a chat with the manager and make some of the points suggested by pps re legal frameworks, infant health and respect for family diversity.

Don't let it influence your relationship with DD re BF or anything else.

I had a similar experience with DD in her first nursery from 6-18 months old. I stuck it for a year because they were kind to DD (even if they thought I was a total oddball) and the nursery was right next door to my office.

Although the staff were never as blatantly rude as with you, it was clear that they regarded my continuing to visit the nursery to BF DD as weird and unnecessary. They blamed this for DD's refusal to eat in the nursery like the other children (most of whom had been fully weaned by the time they started there at 6-12 months). They also implied that DD was too small because of BFing (she's always been 9-15th percentile on the WHO charts) and were surprised that I wasn't supplying any bottles of formula to "bulk her up".

Several staff also made snide comments about DD's cloth nappies (I provided velcro fastening all-in-ones that were no more difficult to use than disposables) and my use of a baby carrier rather than a pram.

No matter how many times I explained that DD would generally refuse to be fed with a spoon but was happy to feed herself, the staff complained at the end of each day that she hadn't eaten anything. It always transpired that they'd tried to spoon-feed her mashed up food rather than leaving her alone with her plate.

Now that she doesn't need to BF in the day, DD is in a new, more open-minded, nursery closer to home. Even though she's still the only baby in cloth nappies, and I'm still the only non-pram-using parent, no one makes a big deal out of it. DD has even begun to eat her lunch at nursery. The difference in attitude is striking.

Having written this, I put up with quite a lot to be able to BF my baby during the day from 6-12 months and spend extra hours with her while commuting.

If you have a choice, explore other nurseries too.

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 16:10

It was hard when they first mentioned it: we had been apart for the longest we have ever been and of course I was in a bit of a state. Now I have had a day to digest what was said and now I'm cross.

MIL is going to be my wing man this evening. I don't know how often DD gropes her, she is too polite to mention it.

OP posts:
Rhian82 · 20/10/2010 16:11

That is complete rubbish.

DS's nursery was always great - even when I visited them when pregnant I said we planned on breastfeeding and using cloth nappies and they were fine with that. Plenty of others babies there were the same. DS went from 5.5 months and I just gave them bottles of EBM. There were a couple of occasions (including his first day) when he wouldn't take a bottle from them so I went in and breastfed him in the corner - that was their suggestion and they had no problems whatsoever.

If it's possible, I'd look into other nurseries tbh.

mrsgordonfreeman · 20/10/2010 19:09

Had a chat with the manager. She looked genuinely shocked and is going to have a word. I think it's a misguided and naive attempt to help me - dd does not eat much when she's there so of course they want her to have something.

Apparently she was given pureed pizza today. She may have no teeth but she had brisket last night with no probs.

I hope these are teething troubles and that we can get along.

Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
crikeybadger · 20/10/2010 19:17

They pureed pizza for a one year old ? Shock

pooka · 20/10/2010 19:26

Pureed pizza??!!

WTF is the point of that!

GiraffesMum · 20/10/2010 19:32

Don't know if it will help but I explained blw to my DD2's nursery as 'toddler food', eg what her 3yr old sister eats. They just give her a plate of that, whilst the other babies have purée stuff. It makes no difference to them as they're making the toddler version for the older ones anyway.

I hope it all works out and your bf goes very well. My nursery is always very proud of the fact that 13mo Dd2 is still bf!

Panzee · 20/10/2010 19:32

Re the groping, I only breastfed my son for 8 weeks and over a year later he still pulls at my top and bites/sucks my chest!! Surely they're used to that?

Frrrrightattendant · 20/10/2010 19:33

MrsGF are you sure you want to keep her in this place?

I would have some distinct misgivings...

PlasticinePolly · 20/10/2010 19:36

I would NOT leave my DD in a nursery that told me to stop breastfeeding my DD in order to make THEIR lives easier. They quite obviously DO NOT have your DD's best interests at heart.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 20/10/2010 19:40

Pureed pizza - how revolting! She is 1 - why is anything she is having there pureed? Bizarre.

tiktok · 20/10/2010 19:40

Pureed pizza.

Pureed.

Pizza.

Honestly?

Surely not a Birds Eye Deep Crust Thick 'n' Cheezy whizzed up (with what? water? Tomato?) in the blender?

For a baby?

SpecterBooAlot · 20/10/2010 19:41

What would I do? Look for a new nursery. And complain, loudly, to everyone I could think of.

RubyBuckleberry · 20/10/2010 19:43

pureed pizza Shock

??????????????

and this is a good nursery because...

Rhian82 · 20/10/2010 19:46

As in a slice of pizza put in a blender?!

When DS was weaning and the older children were having pizza (which was made from scratch on the premises), the babies were given strips of pizza base as finger food, and purees of the veg that was on the pizza. Seemed a sensible way to do it.

PinkIceQueen · 20/10/2010 19:50

Lol @ pureed pizza, oh deary me, that must have looked a sight! Just what is this place thinking?!

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