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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Positive Breastfeeding in Public Stories

91 replies

heresthething · 27/09/2010 23:52

The good old DM has just run another story about a lady being asked to turn to the wall while BF in a library (yawn). Very irritating as while this sort of thing is rare enough to make the news, because these stories come out women think that BFing women are hassled frequently in public.

This just isn't true. That's not to say it doesn't happen, but, in my experience I get loads of positive feedback and to date nothing negative.

Can we share positive stories to encourage other women to feel comfortable about public breastfeeding? I would like to be able to use these in an NCT magazine article if that's ok - if not just say so :)

OP posts:

Morloth · 30/09/2010 08:10

I am seeing a pattern developing here.

Those of us who will feed anywhere anytime and who are ready to get into it with anyone are being left alone.

I think the horrible people can tell if someone is a little uncomfortable and zero in.

Will make it my personally mission to smile and be as encouraging/helpful to any other nursing mums I see about in the hope that it will balance things out.

Summerhols · 30/09/2010 10:04

Been BF for 14 weeks now, though nervous at first I quickly realised that people preferr a quiet BFing baby than a screaming one!

The most memorable time was in a cafe with a couple of friends. It was really busy and the only table was beside 3 teenage lads and their dad. They were out celebrating getting A' Level results (earwigging). I was a bit unsettled about feeding next to them, and thought out of all the tables it would be next to them. But as soon as the Dad realised what I was doing, he moved his chair to give me more room and gave me a big grin. The poor lads did not batter an eye :)

Also wanted to say that I have found a nice comfy seat in my library that is perfect for BF so when in town I make a point of going their to feed (otherwise I end up spending loads of money on coffee and cake). It is by the language bit so end up practicing my french.

organiccarrotcake · 13/10/2010 22:24

morloth I totally agree.

Bloody DM has a lot to answer for . There's hardly any negative reactions to BFing in public and it's so rare for something major to happen (eg being chucked off a bus) that it actually makes the national news... so it's hardly going to affect anyone (although of course it's totally unacceptable).

DwayneDibbley · 13/10/2010 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

1Catherine1 · 13/10/2010 23:34

I'd like to thank you all for putting my mind at rest on this one. I'm due in March with my first and really want to breastfeed but when I told my sister she replied with "You aren't going to be one of those women who just whip it out in public are you?" (she's only 20 and still a teenager at heart) before this I hadn't really considered if I'd do it in public or not and my sisters comment put me off. Thank you to all of you with these positive stories that might make me give it a go :)

And to answer the question about seeing BF women. I have never seen a woman breastfeed in public. That's ever in my life which either means that I'm surrounded by woman who don't do it or that I'm that so self absorbed that I don't even notice. I think it's the latter.

GingerCursedEeeee · 13/10/2010 23:56

Or, 1Catherine1, that a BF woman is not actually particularly noticeable! Go for it, it's fantastic.

What a great thread, I have no shame am not shy and have made it my mission to BF anywhere and everywhere - the more people who do notice, the better as far as I am concerned.

I have BF twice in Ikea lately and the second time my DH said a young woman (teenager at a guess) was watching me intently. I hope it helped her see BF positively. It certainly helped me, as she called after me when I abandoned my handbag by the chair I'd been sitting on! :)

I also BF in a giant swing in the park recently, it was lovely!

blackcurrants · 14/10/2010 01:09

I have just got back from a weekend away, where I BF my baby on an American Civil War Battlefield (Manassas, for you History Fans) and at the Museum of the Marines, in the Qantico military base. On a seat under a biiig flag. As a bunch of white-haired veterans filed past into the Vietnam exhibit.

No one batted an eyelid. I was also staying with my godfather and his wife, both in their 60s, both ex-military, neither had any kids - and I was wondering if it would be ok to feed wherever, considering that they're a bit, erm, prim. Anyway, as it turns out they were so welcoming and comfortable that I fed my son sitting on their porch, at their kitchen table, on their sofa - not a single comment. My hostess had even bought some special 'nursing support' herbal tea for me!

I've been breastfeeding in public places in the North East of the USA, as discreetly as I can, but often in quite busy places - for three months now. I was worried about it cos people are quite prudish here, but it's my experience that people either think BFing is lovely, or they don't notice it/think about it at all.

I love being able to feed him wherever, whenever he's hungry. It's great.

GingerCursedEeeee · 14/10/2010 09:59

Oh yes that reminds me, I have BF in the International Tank Museum!

RJandA · 14/10/2010 22:39

When DD was about 6 weeks old we exchanged on our house and realised we needed sofas. So my first experience of bfing in public (other than some very cosy cafes with hundreds of other mums doing exactly the same, so they don't really count!) was Furniture Village in Croydon.

She was screaming and I was really worried about it, but a very helpful sales chap found an armchair in a corner for me and couldn't have been nicer about it! Don't know what he thought when he later found she had "burped" all down the back of one of their sofas.....

ParrotandBubbles · 14/10/2010 23:11

I've been breastfeeding for 2 years now and have had a couple of nasty experiences but in general have found breastfeeding in public fine. I have literally fed everywhere - plane, boat, train, bus, supermarket, cafe, library, laundrette etc - and in general people ar every accomadating and friendly. The best experience I had was on a train station, the train was delayed so I started to feed DD1 on the platform. The station manager approached me concerned that baby would get cold and that I was uncomfortable, insited I use his office to feed in the warm and offered me a drink :-) I declined as I didn't want to risk missing the train but thought it was a lovely gesture. We get a lot of smiles these days because whenever I feed DD2, DD1 sits and feeds her dolly! Today, we were in a cafe I had the newspaper, DD1 her comic and we both sat and fed our 'babies' quite happily. The waitresses thought it was delightful and praised DD1 to the skies

GingerCursedEeeee · 15/10/2010 12:11

Parrot that's lovely! Does your DD1 BF or FF her dolly? ;)

WorrisomeHeart · 15/10/2010 13:30

This is such a lovely thread. Am 40+3 with my first and really hoping I'm able to BF. It's great to see that people regularly have wonderful experiences of BF'ing in public. Thanks for making an overdue, fed up mum-to-be smile!

blackcurrants · 15/10/2010 19:27

Worrisome BFing can be really, really great. But it wasn't for me at first - the best advice I got when starting was just take it one feed at a time, cos every breastfeed counts and is doing wonders for your lovely baby. I/we had a rocky start and for the first 2-3 weeks it was hard going. If I'd thought 'how am I going to do this for 3/6/12 months?' I might have given up on the spot! I got through with "Well, I'll just feed him till the morning, then reconsider." Or sometimes "well, I don't want to go get formula in the rain, so I'll try to feed him till tonight'' was all it took! Now I can't imagine feeding him any other way, now I'm getting the payback (cos it's so convenient) from the early investment - the part where I spent the first month with my shirt off on the sofa, constantly, constantly, constantly feeding my baby.

OOps, rambling on. In sum: it might be tough at first, but this board saved my sanity many times - so don't be shy to ask for help, whether here for a moan or some info, or in the hospital/at a BFcafe/finding a lactation consultant. Be VERY pushy in the hospital getting help with positioning and checking for tongue tie - don't be afraid to be a nuisance.

Oh, and congrats-in-advance. I went to 40+4 so tomorrow might be the big day! :)

pastyeater · 15/10/2010 21:15

I fed on demand everywhere and anywhere.Busy shopping centres,crowded restaurants, you name it I've fed there.Feeding in nursing bras and tops is more discrete than a non lactating woman wearing a low cut top and push up bra.Trust me, I've done both! Only one dirty look in a whole year.My favourite spot was in the local park.The three year old would play happily.Me and bubs would sit in the sun feeding.
I love breastfeeding! Can't be bothered with bottles and expressing. Just cart bubs everywhere, he's a contented little dude.Formula isn't for me.All that washing up and sterilising!I breastfeed because I'm lazy oh! I fed all the way through the panto last christmas.Arthur was six months old and just suckled and slept.No one noticed us. We all enjoyed the pantomime-Mum Dad,Sister brother in law.DM are highlighting one rare and extreme incident.Not like the media ,I know.and shrugs.

pastyeater · 15/10/2010 21:37

........ and don't you all think feeding in shop changing rooms is really rude and inconsiderate? What if someone wants to try on some clothes!!!

theidsalright · 15/10/2010 21:56

I have never had a negative Bf experience either. I have experienced great "sisterhood" because of it.

My best experience was sitting in John lewis furniture department (I chose the most desirable sofa display and spread myself out; I knew I'd be a while :))and this middle aged woman walking past said "oh look there's a wee baby having his lunch" and they stopped to talk to me and compare notes about their grandson for about 45 minutes! They ended up giving us some travel info about a trip we go on regularly and I'd say the experience has saved us about £150 so far ....

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