Positive Breastfeeding in Public Stories

[heresthething]

The good old DM has just run another story about a lady being asked to turn to the wall while BF in a library (yawn). Very irritating as while this sort of thing is rare enough to make the news, because these stories come out women think that BFing women are hassled frequently in public.

This just isn't true. That's not to say it doesn't happen, but, in my experience I get loads of positive feedback and to date nothing negative.

Can we share positive stories to encourage other women to feel comfortable about public breastfeeding? I would like to be able to use these in an NCT magazine article if that's ok - if not just say so :)

I've had some really lovely comments too, mostly from older ladies. I once had a lady come over in a cafe to tell me what a good job I was doing, feeding DD2 and keeping DD1 occupied at the same time and that I should be proud of myself.

I nearly cried, I realised afterwards that I had be desperate for someone to tell me I was doing a good job (I'm sure DH thinks it but he never says it) so that stranger said the best possible thing at just the right time IYKWIM.

I have had a bad experience though, I was told I couldn't bf in a waiting room of the hospital whilst I was waiting to see my consultant. I was totally taken a back and didn't cause a fuss (I would now!) but when I saw the consultant I explained what the receptionist had said to me and he was livid. He said that he would make sure the receptionist understood how important bfeeding is and she would be reprimanded.

i've been bfing for 10 weeks now, so still quite new to it, but have no problems feeding in public now. i haven't had any comments either way, i don't think! i was feeding on a train once when the ticket inspector came through and said 'tickets please' - i reached for my pocket but he could see it was going to be awkward so said not to worry!

i have actually fed in the library a couple of times as ds always seems to start crying for a feed when we get there. i'm sure people would rather i fed him than that he screamed. the first time i sat at a table and a staff member smiled at me. the second time i did actually find a comfy low chair facing a corner and grabbed a book to read, but that was coincidental - i wouldn't hide away deliberately.

I've been bfing baby #2 for just over 5 months now. Baby #1 was bottle fed ebm and formula and I always apply the rule that wherever I would/wouldn't have fed baby #1 I will/won't feed baby #2 - e.g. I couldn't contemplate feeding her in a toilet.

I feed in public all the time (we have an 18 month gap between children, so what with toddler meal times/nap times/etc we'd never leave the house otherwise!) Generally I have been met with a mixture of complete indifference and 'aww look at the cute little baby'. I have only ever noticed 4 people looking a little uncomfortable. The first was a lady of about 20 or so who didn't seem to know where to look so I gave her a smile and she relaxed after that. The second & third were a couple who looked as if they should be auditioning for the Jeremy Kyle show. I smiled at them and they looked a tiny bit horrified so I had a little chuckle to myself decided to write that one off to experience. The last is my poor father in law who usually makes a spurious excuse about getting some air and then leaves the room for a little while.

I have never had any negative comments and staff in cafes, shops, pubs, libraries, etc have always been at great pains to show me how welcome I am to feed my baby. My local library even made a point of telling me how welcome I was to pop in and feed baby if I needed somewhere to keep my older child entertained whilst I bfed. I've had lots of lovely old ladies come over and stroke her cheek whilst she's feeding and even one old man! My own grandfather (who sadly died last month) was always more than happy for me to bf in front of him.

i now BF in public more often than ever...ws BF in doctors surgery yesterday (6week check, she was doing fabulously, obviously G&T )

now do every time we go to the park, as it takes so long getting out there shes always hungry when we get there...

I have fed in public at least once a week for the past 10 months virtually and I've never had any negative comments.

What seeker said. Never had anything negative comment or experience in 18 months of breastfeeding and I BF everywhere from under the Euro-Fighter to Michelin starred restaurants to Yorkshire.

Shame as I am quite arsey and was always prepared with a withering put down and salient, well-illustrated rationale (e.g. "FUCK OFF" etc)

One of the nicest times was in Pret a Manger Kings Cross when I sat down to BF and the man rushed out from behind the counter and got me a cushion and a glass of water.

I only ever read about negative experiences on here or in the Daily Mail TBH.

Have fed DD for a year

Always been met with stunnng indifference to be honest

Fed in a synagogue, Chanel make up counter, restaurants, train ... You name it

DD feeds much less nowadays but would feed her whenever and wherever

"I was desperate for negative comments so I could fight back - but never a single one. Not one."

Tee hee I feel the same

My DS2 was christened on the weekend and just as the vicar called for silence and contemplation before the beginning of the service, DS2 decided he needed to feed. I've always thought he was a bit on the noisy side, but he actually filled the church with his slurp-slurp-slurp - to make it worse the vicar then said "and baby is having his own contemplation!!". Loads of people at the service commented on it afterwards but all were really nice and thought it was sweet and funny.

Well I reckon I can feed anywhere now. I went to a workshop at the school this evening, taking DD with me as I haven't got an expressed milk supply built up yet. I fully expected a good turn out so I could hide at the back discretely and feed DD to keep her quiet. Turns out that the workshop was round a table in a meeting room and only 4 parents turned up! It was a little weird, but DD stayed quiet the whole time bless her (apart from the slightly embarrassing slurping sounds). Goodness knows what the others thought, but they were all very nice to me.

I've experienced only positive comments when bf DS out and about over the last 2 years and am looking forward to doing the same with DC2 due in November

I thought someone was staring at me disapprovingly when bf ds1 on a train but then realised the girl was actually blind and minding her own business That, in a way, taught me that sometimes you can be mistaken in interpreting a look you are given!

Would it be very evil of me to suggest that the negative stories are mostly made up? I've been either bf myself or around bf women for nearly 15 years now, and the only negative things that have happened to anyone I know is the occasional giggle from teenagers and a harumph or two from fathers or fathers in law. If people were regularly being abused, and flung of busses and so you would have thing that I would have known at least one!

It was yonks ago now, but one of the ladies on our antenatal thread was bf in Pizza Express. The waiter brought the pizza over & then offered to cut it up for her so she could eat it one-handed I thought it was a lovely touch.

at organiccarrotcake and gaelicsheep.

Currently feeding DS3 and like others, have fed anywhere that I needed to including at a govonor's meeting when DS was 4 weeks old, no one batted an eyelid. I've only ever had one bad comment and that was from another mum at a Stay and Play session. She was agast that I was feeding a 2yr old and made some comment about me not having enough shame to do it in private! Meh.

Other than that I've only had smiles and old ladies cooing. I was feeding DS2 at a friends wedding and two old ladies walked by, one noticed what I was doing and stopped her friend to point it out because she thought it was the most beautiful thing. They sat with me for the remainder of the feed, chatting about breastfeeding and their own children. Sweeties they were.

Seeker will have to say that yes it would be evil of you. I've had a few very horrible times feeding in public, some of which I've posted about, and each time it has been really upsetting, one time to the point I nearly stopped feeding all together. So it does happen, unfortunately.

However - onto happier things.

I had a woman once tell me what a fantastic job I was doing, and it happened to be on a really bad day (DS was teething, we were both miserable and sleep deprived, his wind was bad, etc). Really could have kissed her! She kept me going that day.

Someone cut up my cake into bite size pieces for me once, without even saying a word :)

Feeding DS waiting at the bus stop when he was very little, the bus came a bit early, and a total stranger got my buggy onto the bus for me, parked it, and then pulled down my seat so I didn't have to take him off.

My granddad (mid 80s) told someone off for complaining about me feeding when we were out for lunch the other week

Seeker 'Would it be very evil of me to suggest that the negative stories are mostly made up?' How rude !!

Seriously, if I'd made it up I'd have made it a bit more interesting than a receptionist in a hospital!

Though there was that thread not too long ago though about a girl who said a bus driver had yelled at her and thrown her off (?) and the bus company checked the CCTV and it exonerated the driver, she had made it all up. That being said, I really doubt that negative stories are mostly made up.

I once breastfeed DD on a train. It was busy so couldn't get a seat next to DH so was sat next to an very old woman.

When I started feeding DD she started telling me all about her children - she was Polish and had breastfed her children until they self weaned.

She told me she was very busy with her many children and rarely sat down, and her youngest little boy used to chase her round the house begging for a feed The minute she sat down to eat a meal and he would clamber onto her knee.

I've only fed in public a grand total of twice, but as I was very nervous and it went smoothly both times I think that counts!

Once was in Costa with another lovely Mumsnetter. We couldn't get a table in the corner so I was fairly central and all the windows onto the busy street were glass but no one gave me another glance.

Second time was in a cafe in a shopping centre, where the shoppers could still walk around the cafe. No one even glanced over. I did use a muslin over him but only because he has a habit of popping off the nipple at the moment and I wanted to feel comfortable.

I feed DD (10mths) anywhere and everywhere and not particularly discreetly either. Fed DS til he weaned at just over two but by that stage had tended to stay at home to feed. I've always wanted someone to come up and challenge me so I can try out my selection of witty retorts but no-one ever does!

Ooh What are your retorts? I could do with some for next time and I only think of something clever to say at about 3am the next morning when I'm still stewing over a situation!

I've posted this elsewhere on here, so sorry to repeat myself! I was in the cafe in Sainsbury's once feeding dd2 when an elderly gentleman came towards me. I was initially concerned that I had offended him by not being very discreet or modest! Actually he wanted to tell me that he thought me bfing was 'beautiful & dignified' (not words that are bandied about often in relation to me ). He then proceeded to tell me about his mother who had bf her 9 children & that he remembered pestering her for a bf even after starting school! I've never had a negative comment.

In 10 months of breastfeeding all over the place I've never had any negative experiences. Lots of smiles, comments along the lines of "he's a lucky boy", and plenty of polite avoiding looking.

There is one incident that stands out though.

I was wandering around a beautiful old town near here, which I don't know at all, since I'm quite new to the area. You know how it is when you just wander the streets aimlessly, enjoying the atmosphere. It was just me and 7 mo ds.

Ds decided he was hungry, and of course there were no cafes or shops around. The only place open was what looked like a really rough bikers bar. It was either that or squat in the street (there weren't even any steps to sit on). So in I go, putting a brave face on it. I sit down straight away and get ds latched on, just so I can hear myself think!

This huge muscular tattooed guy comes over, asks if I would like a drink or would prefer to wait to get myself sorted. He brought me over a glass of water and some olives to nibble on. Then when ds had finished he played peekaboo with him while I went to the loo!

Was feeding DD2 in a cafe whilst scoffing cake and drinking coffee. Lady popped over and beamed at DD2, saying "oooh, look how much she's enjoying her latte too!" :o

all the windows were glass, what was I thinking? What I meant is that all the walls on two sides of the building were glass windows...

Mustn't type so late.

Thought id just add that i have also BF both babies in all sorts of places but whilst i haevnt had any negative comments as such i have had some really rude stares from people looking at me in complete disbelief or disgust at what i am doing. This used to intimidate me and i would quickly cover up a bit more in order to avoid a confrontation but now i just smile at them until they either smile or look away. I try to generally discreetly feed so Im not revealing too much boob but have recently really not cared too much, eps as DD is quite big and likes to reveal my boob herself most of the time! Like you all, just want BF to become the normal way and then we wouldnt get stared at or made to feel like we are doing something inappropriate.