I want to do something positive... Who's with me?

[poppydog10]

Following on from Funny's recent thread and others, it is obvious that so many of us are passionate about breastfeeding and frustrated that it is not seen as 'the norm' in this country.

I really, really want to help change things, but just don't know where to start. Collectively, we might be able to make a difference. Any ideas?

How about starting a campaign for the normalisation of breastfeeding? I don't know if would be a broad campaign but it would definately be ongoing.

Feeding in public is a huge step to normalising feeding. If you see something enough, no matter how shocking the first time, you eventually get past that and it becomes more normal.

I also think the celebrity/popular culture link is key too. Seeing it in soaps or dramas but not as a part of the storyline just as something the character does.

I have noticed that OK magazine seems to ask all the pregnant celebs they interview if they plan to breastfeed. It must be quite hard to as a celeb if you think someone is going to take a picture of you feeding in public.

I think Nell McAndrew was a natural term feeder. I'm sure there are others.

Things like bf in public outside parliament has it's place and I took part in the bf picnics this year but I also think they can make breastfeeding appear too political ans controversial to some women. think they have to be

Sorry, posting from my phone.

What I mean is, they might look at public feeding en masse and think they're not that kind of person and be unable to imagine themselves breastfeeding.

It did just make me chuckle this morning when thinking about how I suggested mass feeding yet I haven?t fed in public yet, perhaps its something that I wont find is the thing for me :)

As far as I can tell there needs to be more education because with my DD I was totally ignorant about BF, thought it would be easy but I?m not a stupid person.

I have also noticed that there needs to be more support for women who?s babies are in neo-natal because there are loads of women myself included that feel as if hospital staff are also trying to prevent establishing bf. Also I?m the first person in my family to bf since my grate grandmothers, so FF is really ingrained in our culture.

Interesting point about politicisation. Hasten to add, I am a keen and loud complainer - but there is also a lot to be said for normalising BF by behaving normally!

Quietly feed in public, in front of friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues, say the occasional nice thing about BF, correct myths as you hear them, share whacky facts about BF that you have learnt ... listen to others BF stories non-judgementally ... avoid evangelism like the plague unless you are talking to a fellow believer. I think we all know that we lactivists can shoot ourselves in the foot sometimes.

And most importantly, do all of these things around people who aren't mums. Cos if BF is ever going to be accepted, it has to become a normal topic of conversation for men, women and children of all ages.

Absolutely agree with every point you made theboobmeister

I also think the education side of things is important. My PCT have just started taking steps towards BFI accreditation. Part of their plan is to encourage primary schools to teach about breastfeeding and to inform women antenatally (something I would have found very useful, with hindsight).

MrsSdownunder what do you think of that suggestion? I wouldn't be keen to see a move like that. I think women should breastfeed because they want to, feel supported and if they want to formula-feed, they make the choice with the best information available at the time. Besides, I don't think it would be workable - GPs would hate it and the cost would be huge.

SPB I love the idea of normalising homebirth too. It's had a bit of an unfair bashing in the media lately but I think it would help feeding rates. Fewer drugs to impact getting feeding off to a good start and reduced risk interventions like CS which also has a negative impact.

This is my fourth baby the first I have breastfed. I did try a little with my third but not really (gave bottles from the start) and the first two I had no plans to breastfeed at all and didnt.

The things which made a difference this time are

1. Not listening to all the NEGATIVE stories of pain and people unable to breastfeed (I know this happens) but before I was under the impression that normal breastfeeding was painful, difficult and likely to fail which my experience (so far anyway only 8 weeks in!) has been the opposite.

2.A wonderful HV who told me to ignore people who said my baby looked small for her age and told me that she looked small because she was gaining weight at the correct pace rather than shooting up the charts as my other babies had on formula)

3.A more general wish to improve what I give not just my baby but the rest of my family too (I have made an effort the last couple of years to avoid artificial foods of many kinds and a natural extension of this is into breastfeeding)

4.online support (mostly tihs site) I have posted on here moaning an whining abotu how long feeds take and how my baby seems grumpy but being reassured that it is normal and my baby is not wasting away from hunger has helped me get through the harder early days to now where feeds are a reasonable length and actually have an end rather than the day being one neverending feed!.

1. Again very importantly a midwife at the hospital who told me that anytime I feel liek giing up set a goal (that first night was 6am) and say ok If it is still this bad at (6am or whatever) then I will give her a bottle - It never has been for example by 6am that first night my daughter had settled to sleep and was lying happily next to me not the screaming head wriggling budnle she had been 6 hours before!.

I am not really sure what I could do as its is still such early days for us but I would like to help other people especially those who have bottlefed previous babies. (I never believed people who said night feeds were easier - but now she feeds so quickly they really are!)

fernie3 - your experience would make you an excellent breastfeeding counsellor IMO. You should look into it :)

I've just been trying to talk about it in normal life, so at work all the guys know about different aspects of BFeeding and expressing. I don't bring it up on purpose but if it fits into the conversation, e.g. growth spurt means I was up every hr etc. Plus starting to post a few fb status here and there, updates on our blog. Use to think I shouldn't mention it, but then realised I'd have appreciated it when I was pregnant.

i haven't read all the posts just the OP and some of the others.

i would love to jjoin this 'campaign'. i think helping mothers to understand more about breastfeeding would help.

2 other mums who had babies at the same time as me are now FFing and both their reasons-one that baby wasn't getting enough from BF and anotherthat the baby had reflux- are not necessarily reasons to have to give up BFing.i think it's the lack of support at the right time that failed these two mothers, or maybe the lack of support and awareness prebirth so when problems came up they understood how it all works and how to respond IYSWIM.

i personally have no desire to BF in public so for me BFing facilities would be better. at the moment i have just taken DS in the car when he's hungry and my tinted windows do the job. i think there are many women like me who for their own reasons don't want to BF in public, this doesn't mean they are anti BFing in any way, it actually just means they don't get out much. so far better to give facilities for such women than to just tell them, you should just do it, don't be shy.

OK, so I know we joked about this a while back, but I did actually go ahead and e mail 'The Archers' to see how they were going to approach the feeding of Helen's imminent baby.

Below is the reply I received...

Thank you for contacting The Archers. Ambridge mums have quite a good record on breastfeeding. Our recent babies - Abbie, George and Ben - were all breastfed and even thirty years ago when Tom was young, his breastfeeding was mentioned on the programme. I hope you will continue to listen to the programme to see how the issue is handled in future months.

Well, maybe it was preaching to the converted after all, but I'll be interested to see how they do broach the subject.

Marzipananimal makes a really good point. I made a comment on another thread wondering what proportion of women actually leave hospital with cracked nipples. I did both times, and it just makes the whole job of establishing b/f so much harder. I think one of the most useful things that peer supporters could be doing is going into postnatal wards and making themselves available to help at what is probably the most crucial time. Is this happening anywhere? Is it even allowed?

Another thought - it's one thing normalising breastfeeding (and btw I don't think political demos/mass feeds are the way to do this). But I think what we need to strive for is normalising motherhood itself. What I mean is that society needs somehow to accept once more that a mother's role in the first few weeks of her child's life is to feed and nurture her baby. Not do housework, go shopping, run around after other children, etc. I have no idea how this can be achieved, but until it is I don't see how the rates of successful b/f are going to improve very much.

Harking back to a thread I started 4 years ago, I do feel that the promotion literature needs to be more realistic about early motherhood and the establishment of b/f. I know I was shocked by the hard reality to the point that I nearly gave up, and I can't be the only one.

Anyhow, this is all hot air and no action. Just my thoughts.

I emailed the archers too but don't think I've heard anything back...

Also emailed local milk bank and they said they'd send fliers, or if I could help out in other ways. They said they would send fliers, but nowt yet. I donate to a differnet bank cause when I set out ds was too old for the local one. Locl bank didn't ask if i was interested in helping in any other way the first time and haven't pursued my offer the second time. A missed opportunity me thinks. The bank I do donate to couldn't be more helpful so there is clearly a mixed picture.

Also emailed MP re BF manifesto

ANd enquired about peer support...all full at the mo though.

DO I get a gold star?

I've just realised this is quite an old thread! How did I not see it at the time?

Galic

If the mother is to just feed for a few weeks and do nothing else, who will do all the other things that need doing (ie provide food to eat, run the house? Many relatives whio in a past generation might have been able to help work full time and can't take weeks out to help or dont' live nearby, husbands can't take weeks off to run the house whist a mother establsihes feeding. And in your scenario who looks after the other children in a family?

Gaelic, Little Angels is a group that organise peer supports and bfc to visit hospitals.here is their website (although they do operate in only a few areas). I'd be interested to hear how other peer supporters on here get to help other women (ie. do you visit them at home or via groups etc?)

In the Politics of Breastfeeding book, she talks about the myth that women in the developing world "just squat down, have the baby and then get back to picking rice" (I'm paraphrasing). They do in fact have a confinement period of 40 days where they are looked after by other women and extended family. I really don't know how this could happen in the UK though as so few people have that level of family support close by.

But that is problem isn't it? Places where breastfeeding is the norm take it seriously. Female relatives care for other children, look after the house, etc. I don't think for one minute this is going to change within this generation, but I do think it needs to for more women to b/f successfully.

Paid paternity leave is the obvious starting point, but clearly that ain't going to happen.

If society isn't going to change its view on this, are we (as in those on this thread) doomed to fall at the first hurdle? Not wanting to be a pessimist or anything.

x posts Badger. What do others think? Is it really possible to establish b/f without that kind of support? Perhaps with DC1, but with a second? I know for certain I wouldn't still be b/f if DH wasn't around at home most of the time, with no family nearby.

the presumption that other females can/will step up to bulk domestic chores to facilitate 24-7 feeding isnt realistic. competing demands of work,children,etc make that a non starter.and post birth doesn't need a confinement period.recovery,mobility,mood are enhanced by purposeful activity

moon I have fliers I can send you. Sorry - not emailed u recently - manic here. Hope to have more time in 2-3 wks and can then start more discussions with u.

Elizabeth BF her twins in the Atchers, too

scottish I disagree. Clearly it won't work for many people but if the concept is out there more people will do it. I for one would be happy to support a babymooning friend.

Babymoon vouchers as an alternative to baby clothes as a gift for new mums?

Some kind of local new mum help exchange? Or help for mums generally actually. I've heard of local schemes where skills are exchanged rather than money changing hands. Same idea?

which people will babymoon (whatever that is) exactly?will there be a database?quality assurance?most women dont need a confinement,indeed this is counter productive to normal recovery and wellness

interesting idea... will take to NCT committee.